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Open Poetry #7
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Is this Haiku?
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Is this Haiku? |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
The moon has found me Nightshades sing in reverie Rain's graceful lyric Now, should each of the lines be capitalized? Is punctuation at the discretion of the writer? Is there a rule of thumb concerning titles? Is the last line supposed to depict a separate idea or image? (Do I ask too many questions??) Thanks to whomever might feel compelled to respond...  ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Claire - I have no idea if this is "poetically correct," as far as haiku's go - I'm pretty dumb when it comes to writing to a formula. But, I loved the imagery and flow of this piece - very well-constructed and expressed. So, whether or not it's a haiku, it's a winner!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Claire... I agree with Troy... also, I'd suggest consulting Beki - She's the haiku expert around here. You can email her at JustBeki2@aol.com - She's always happy to help...  |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Soft feeling this left me with, Claire ...... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I would suggest to look at http://shiki.toward.co.jp/~kim/pleasure1.html I am such a neophyte at haiku, I have no ability to critique... but this site makes me realize how difficult haiku is to master and truly understand, but also to realize the true beauty it symbolizes. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you all for reading and for so graciously offering help. Mike, I am a neophyte when it comes to so many different poetic forms. That is to say, I can recognize them, but to transfer my own thought to their form is another story entirely. Think I may work on the Haiku though, as it might actually be befitting to my ADD... thanks again, ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
budding haikuist unite!!! ")i am new to haiku too...but in my humble opinion,i think haiku deserve a title for the title serves as an extra opportunity for the poet to express what he wants to say.....syllables are ssoooo important in haiku so if there's another way for us to express FULLY the idea,why not use a title? is this your first try?i think that's a commendable first attempt.....and way to go girl.....yes,try and try and try again ")best wishes |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
to illustarte my point....see how Rex has placed his haiku on a different plane,a more sophisticated level with his gem of a title "Fatal Attraction" hope that helps ") |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Hi Claire ... this is haiku that you have written ... it is not a perfect haiku, but the rules are not carved in stone ... even the masters never filled all the requirements all of the time ... they should depict one of the seasons ... 17 sylables 7 or 8 words in three lines ( 5-7-5 ) is not carved in stone either ... the 17 syl. and three lines I believe are the basic requirements ... what you have written is beautiful ... and I feel it is haiku Rex}>{{{{o> |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Lovely, Claire! Denise |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Hi Claire, this is very nice. Haiku is about nature and Senryu is about the human experience usually with an ironic twist. It seems that they both use the same format, 5-7-5, or as some may not know what that means its 5 syliables - 7 syliables - 5 syliables. I call all mine Haiku, even though they are senryu, its the more common used term though not correct. They are fun to write, so have fun. I put some together to make a poem, its fun in this format. Senryu’s of Love Separate But Together Vast spaces deny us You inspires my heart songs With those Irish eyes … On emerald Isle Us running behind hedge groves In afternoon rain … Stars join in night dance Two waltz a candle lit sky Irish eyes wink yes … Lips seeking pleasure- moist in delicious ventures lost in throws of love…. Parker |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Kaile...yes, I agree about the title being an integral part of the poem, and the reason I rarely leave anything untitled...an excellent point you've asserted. Thank you. Rex...thank you, dear, for reading and sharing your knowledge. Denise...thank you. Looks like I've an awful lot to learn yet. Parker...I like your poems! (funny you should mention Irish eyes...) Thank you. ~ Claire |
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