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hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA

0 posted 2000-04-21 12:48 PM


      The Secret
      
The pleasant evening begins,
The sun making its lazy descent in the azure sky.
Cooled by the shade of my maple tree,
I sit on my lawn, basking in the joy and beauty of life.
Looking up, I see you walking past my house,
Your eyes upon the ground.
I smile and say hello, and you slowly raise your head
To meet my gaze with empty eyes.
My smile falters at what I read in your vacant stare.
Then, you lower your eyes again and continue walking down the
sidewalk.
In this brief instant, my mind goes back
To when I was 12 years old,
And the sun didn't shine on my world;
And darkness held me in a death-grip.
And, suddenly, I realize what it was
That I read in your eyes:
You, too, know the nightmare of abuse.
Who was he - the one who used your body
To satisfy his sick desires?
Father, brother, uncle, trusted friend?
Perhaps a cousin, as was he who abused me?
What did he take from you?
Your self-esteem?
Your will to live?
Your ability to trust?
Your capacity to feel joy?
Your heart?
Your soul?
Your identity?
I know your pain, my friend
My cousin took all of these from me,
And more.
Did he know what it would do to me,
When he used my trust in him
As an avenue whereby he could defile me?
Perhaps not - but, it doesn't matter.
He should have thought about it.
Does he care what became of me,
When he was through with me,
And went on his merry way?
I don't think so.
He used my flesh to feed
The demon inside of him
And then went off
In search of other prey.
But, wait, my friend -
While I was caught up in memories,
You moved on, and are now out of sight.
You left before I could tell you
The wonderful secret
Before I could tell you
That it doesn't have to end like that.
The sun can rise over your world, again,
As it has over mine.
It takes time - time to remember
What a wonderful person you are,
And to realize that
No matter what anyone does to you,
They can't take away your worth.
It takes patience - patience to sift through your soul,
Removing the shadows that were placed there by your abuser,
So that the brightness of your spirit can shine through.
It takes courage - courage to break free from your past
And to take charge of your life,
Never to be controlled by another, again.
It also helps to have a friend -
Someone who understands your pain,
And cares enough to help you to work through it.
And, so, my friend,
Although my voice can no longer reach your ears,
I send my spirit
To deliver this message to yours:
I care
I understand
And, if you ever pass my way, again,
I promise not to watch you walk by
Without sharing the secret of survival with you.


      -Troy J. Hoecherl-

© Troy J Hoecherl
All Rights Reserved


 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm


© Copyright 2000 Troy Hoecherl - All Rights Reserved
Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
1 posted 2000-04-21 01:25 PM


Thank you very much for posting this one Troy.  It is much appreciated.  Challenge well met.

Marina

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-04-21 01:49 PM


Yes, there is hope for survival...your words speak loudly to the survivor in me. This is a direct yet tender piece of writing, and I thank you, Troy, for sharing the secret.  Superb.

~ Claire

netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
3 posted 2000-04-21 06:57 PM


Troy, this poem is so tender and I just
love it.  Coming into the forum this past
few days has been very painful for me.

I don't know why.  Thought these issues
were over for me -- but what is happening,
is my pain is for all the other children who have had to experience any of this abuse.

Big Hugs,
and thanks for sharing this - it is a very
worthy cause --and well written, as usual.

Back to the Top

netswan

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2000-04-21 08:02 PM


Yours is the first I've had the courage to read. For obvious reasons. It was painful but necessary. thank you

 Kathleen


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-04-21 10:34 PM


Troy~
My heart aches with the misery that anyone has to go through at the hands of sick and demented tormentors.

Yes, thank God, there are survivors.
As I can see in many of the replies, it would appear that there are many, many survivors among us.

My heart hugs everyone who has ever had
to contend with any form of abuse.  
Verbal abuse is the killer of self-esteem.
Sexual abuse is the silencer of self-spirit for such a long time ... sometimes for life.
Physical abuse is most often the silencer of life itself.

We do need to reach out and offer our love and understanding to the victims who are survivors ... and prayerful rememberance to those who are not.

This could not have been easy for you to share ... thank you for doing so.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
6 posted 2000-04-21 10:54 PM


Very deep poem.  no matter what the kind of abuse, it kills a part of you, a part that may never come back.  Thanks for sharing your poetry with us!

 "It is in our aloneness
that we recognize our oneness,
even as the single droplet of water
knows also that it is the sea."Daniel

*Cassie Roseen*



hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA
7 posted 2000-04-22 03:32 AM


Thank you all for reading, my friends!

Marina - you're welcome!  And, it really was a challenge, deciding whether or not to post this...

Claire - you honor me with your kind words...and it was my pleasure to share the secret.  I just wish that I could somehow spare all of the little lost souls of the world from ever having to go through this...

Teresa - I've had a tough time entering the forum lately, too.  Even though the memory of being victimized no longer immobilizes me like it used to, it is still very sad to see how many of our Passions family members have had personal experiences with this ugly facet  of reality.  Glad you liked the poem - you're the best!  {{{Teresa}}}

Kathleen - I read a quote, once, that has really stuck with me.  I can't remember who the author was, but he said "healing comes through the wound."  Sometimes we need to pull our emotional scabs off and clean out the wounds, before they can truly heal...if my poem helped you to do this, I am happy.

Marge - very valid points, my friend!  And, no...it wasn't easy to share.  But, I am one of the lucky ones who learned that being abused doesn't have to be the end of existence.  Not everyone who has survived abuse has learned this, and I felt I owed it to my fellow survivors to share the secret I had learned.

Dawn Eclipse - thank you for your kind words.  Yes, sometimes we never regain what we lost - but it often helps just to know that we are not alone!

Again, thank you all for reading and responding!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm


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