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Passions in Poetry

Casting Flowers (A Sonnet) (Revised a little bit)

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Denise
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0 posted 04-20-2000 01:37 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise



Between the splashing drops that freely flow
Blue eyes behold a flash of deja-vu
That lights a path to times of long ago
I walk the rain soaked streets in search of you.
My heart yearns once again those days so fair
For cloud free azure skies that fill my mind
My spirit running free without a care
Through sun drenched meadows that were left behind.
The tempest ravaged innocence in waves
That crashed in violence upon the shore
In fathoms deep your grave that now enslaves
Holds fast its captive on the ocean floor.
Beside the tide I gaze upon the sea
While casting flowers to your memory.

Denise




[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 04-21-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Parker
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


1 posted 04-20-2000 04:16 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Denise, very beautiful, I love a sonnet with so much meaning.

Parker
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
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2 posted 04-20-2000 04:20 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

This is bittersweet and lovely, Denise...I especially enjoy the perfection of your last line to bring it all 'round.

~ Claire
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
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3 posted 04-20-2000 04:21 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

ooohhh Denise, this is so pretty
and im sooo jealous...I have been wanting to try a sonnet too...but it seem so hard to get the meter and count and all those "rules"
LOL i was never good at following rules *S*
wonderful work!!
take care kind poet,
jm

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon


Parker
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


4 posted 04-20-2000 04:27 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Question..... What exactly are the rules to writing a sonnet, are they on the site anywhere. I must know this, I think I would like to write one soon. Where can I go, to find the answers. They are much too beautiful to ignor.

Parker
Mike
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since 06-19-99
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5 posted 04-20-2000 04:31 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

beautifully done.  (as your sonnets always are)
Nate Dogg
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since 11-15-1999
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Georgia, Fulton


6 posted 04-20-2000 05:01 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

This is a very beautiful and deep piece Denise!

 Nathan
Denise
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7 posted 04-20-2000 05:24 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise


Thank you, Parker, Claire, Janet Marie, Mike and Nate for your kind comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Parker, here is a link to Nan's Workshop on the Sonnet. I'm sure you'll find it informative.

http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html
Martie
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8 posted 04-20-2000 09:03 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is so lovely, Denise!
David2
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since 03-22-2000
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9 posted 04-20-2000 09:06 PM       View Profile for David2   Email David2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for David2

Very beautiful, you know how much I enjoy this form and you more than did it justice. Quite charming.
      David2
A Romantic Heart
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since 09-03-99
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Forever In Your Heart


10 posted 04-20-2000 09:11 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

very lovely, beautiful, full of love,
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
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Normal, Illinois


11 posted 04-20-2000 09:36 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Denise this is beautiful, I was almost in tears. I'm glad to see your muse is back with you.  
Balladeer
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12 posted 04-20-2000 11:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Beautifully done, Denise.........
WhtDove
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since 07-22-99
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13 posted 04-21-2000 01:10 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Denise what words can I use to explain? Ya sure got a sonnet frenzy started here LOL

Beautiful work deserves to be praised Denise!
Where ya been hiding? Hugs!!
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
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14 posted 04-21-2000 01:14 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

A Sonnet by Denise
No sweeter song in all the world
Liz
Rex Allen McCoy
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since 01-30-2000
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Sippin a Timmy's in London


15 posted 04-21-2000 01:31 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Loved it ... read it over and over again ... it reads so smooth and beautiful

Rex}>{{{{o>
bboog
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since 02-29-2000
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16 posted 04-21-2000 03:11 AM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

D~
  Just happened to be passing through and noticed a sonnet written by you. The only flea-sized quibble would be in the first line, where you write, "in search of you" Perhaps change to "with dreams of you" or "with thoughts of you". Why? Because you know at the end of the poem that you are going to be "casting flowers" for the memory of the person as that is the title of the poem. Other than that, I liked the metaphor of the ocean.
best regards,
bboog

[This message has been edited by bboog (edited 04-21-2000).]
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
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Southern Florida

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17 posted 04-21-2000 08:26 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Beautifully expressed , Denise .....
Lovely piece .....
Denise
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18 posted 04-21-2000 09:39 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you so much, Martie, David, Romantic Heart, Gloria, Balladeer, Rebecca, Elizabeth, Rex, Bob and Pepper for taking the time to read and comment! It is always appreciated!

Bob-I made the first line the fourth line now in an attempt to better get across the point that I am searching through time, so to speak. There are a couple of ways to interpet this, and on first reading I know that it sounds that I am searching for a person. My intent was to show my search through the past for my lost innocence, my childhood, that is, of course, gone forever and the closing lines are meant to indicate my final acceptance of that fact. I hope the editing made that a little clearer. Thanks for your suggestions.

Denise
bboog
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19 posted 04-21-2000 05:48 PM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

D~
The editing did make it better. Thanks!
bboog
Denise
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20 posted 04-22-2000 09:13 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

You're welcome, Bob. Glad you liked the changes!

Denise
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
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21 posted 05-12-2000 07:41 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Denise, this one needed a second round for it is great.  
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
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22 posted 05-12-2000 07:42 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

OOPS, I double posted, shame on me...LOL

[This message has been edited by Lost Dreamer (edited 05-12-2000).]
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


23 posted 05-12-2000 07:44 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Sigh ... what a lovely vision, and a tragic demise.  Moving, Denise, and well-written besides ...

Applause from the critic's corner ...

--Kess


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Nan
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24 posted 05-12-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I like this piece, Denise - the final couplet most of all - Very nicely done - of course - I expect nothing less from you..
 
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