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Open Poetry #7
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-- "Just move my car..." --
| Open Poetry #7 |
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-- "Just move my car..." -- |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL 
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More of a "story" than a poem. Hope you don't mind the long post. =) -- "Just move my car..." -- (4-17-2000) Once we were driving down a road so slow Smiles on our faces and plenty of love to grow Your hand on my knee and my heart in your hand Listening to the ballads of our favorite band The conversation was sweet no matter how long A minute or an hour the love was still so strong We'd talk for a moment and then stop to think It hurts to remember the thoughts left on that seat But still here I sit behind the wheel of your car I think I can bear it, I'm not going very far I turn on the lights and I hear a gentle snap And here comes a memory slipping through the gaps Remember that ring, and the business card for a note? "Just because I love you" were the words that I wrote I think I never told you, of the ring I left in the store Just a single diamond, and hopes of marriage and more I shake off the dream, that couple didn't last I take a deep breath and forget about the past As I shift to reverse and hear the gears smack Suddenly those memories all come flooding back Remember that same trip, as down the road we drove A butterfly you hit, and away went your glow You made such a face, I thought you'd surely cry A tragedy to kill, such a pretty butterfly If it were in my power, it's life I'd replace Just to see a smile, cross your frowning face I'm supposed to be moving but my foot lays on the brakes It's just all these memories, that every sound recreates So I tune in the radio to flood out the sounds If I'm not moving soon, you'll be coming round "Just move my car...", a simple favor you request It seems so hard now, but I'll give it my best The car is finally moved, and with it I still sit I've turned the engine off but the radio is lit You knocked on the window, what was taking me so long You see I had to change it, it was playing our old song That night's gone, a relief it almost seems But every now and then I sit, alone with my dreams Wonderful memories, memories I know I'll miss On accasion I forget them, they say ignorance is bliss But your memory remains, and I fight the urge to cry When ever my window hits, a pretty butterfly --Dave [This message has been edited by WhiteNite (edited 04-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dave - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
No apology needed for this one. It is a great piece. Hope I never hit another butterfly...lol btw-What's the first thing to go through a butterfly's mind when he hits a windshield? Jeffrey |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Your hand on my knee and my heart in your hand Listening to the ballads of our favorite band --------------- We'd talk for a moment and then stop to think It hurts to remember the thoughts left on that seat ------------- I think I never told you, of the ring I left in the store Just a single diamond, and hopes of marriage and more I shake off the dream, that couple didn't last I take a deep breath and forget about the past -------------- You knocked on the window, what was taking me so long You see I had to change it, it was playing our old song ------------- But your memory remains, and I fight the urge to cry When ever my window hits, a pretty butterfly ------------ lots of lines in this one touch me... very well wrote out emotions in this one .. alot of your heart in here too very nice dave-gator...very jm Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders And it makes me want to touch you there. And the light in your eyes makes me feel Like there's something much better out there Something kind... And I know someday I might be looking around Trying to find some purpose Well purpose it can't be that hard to find As long as I've got the wind... The wind and your love to carry me. vertical horizon |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Dave - Excellent, it is not too long, no story that holds the readers interest is too long ---) I have never hit a butterfly, and if I did I would surely cry. Thanks for this poem, Dave. netswan |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Man oh man...what is it about ex's and their vehicles...!?!?! I know what you mean exactly!  I had this happen to me not even a month ago - that kind of deja vu thing, you know? Eeeks! Very nice poem though, and some beautiful memories here, thanks for sharing it. The whole butterfly thing made it "mushy"....  Hey, I owe you a kiss, don't I ? LOL I haven't forgotten...just been doing a little soul-searching. Please email me, would ya? Do I have to beg??? LOL |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
Nooooo... of course you don't have to beg. =) I've just been waiting for you to have a chance to reply to that last gargantuan E-mail before I bombarded you with more. =) But hey... I'll get right on it. I wouldn't want to get a bad reputation for making a lady beg. [wink] Yup still owe me a kiss... and boy am I thirsty. =) [This message has been edited by WhiteNite (edited 04-18-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A fantastic and interesting story poem. James |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
This was a beautiful story. Its funny what can spark a memory sometimes isn't it?  Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
I forgot to say thank you to everyone elses replies last time.. sorry 'bout that... Jeff - snicker... I think we all know the answer to that riddle. Thanks for the compliment. Gald you enjoyed it. Jan - Thank you as always... you're one of my favorite fans. Netswan - Thanks. I just know I tend to lose interest over any poem this long unless its pretty awesome.... and of course I'm prety hard on myself, so i my opinion... IT'S TOO LONG! =) I'm glad everyone doesn't read like me. Gen - Even though I've already thanked you, I'll do it again.. hope it wasn't too "mushy" for you. =) WhiteNite - You're awesome. LOL James - Thanks... is there really such a thing? A story poem? Temptress - Thank you. Yes, there are too many things that bring up memories for me.. amazing that I ever forget or block out anything, but occasionally I do if it's painful enough. "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is a beautiful poem, I was just about in tears, I am thankful I have never hit a butterfly, when I was a teen I hit a raccoon and that was bad enough, it haunted me for months. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
 This was GREAT!!! Aren't all poems a story of one kind or another? either way I loved this...butterfly hitting and all Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Sad and bittersweet words. It flowed beautifully with the emotions and I found it easy to be caught up in it. Length was not too long. I hope I never hit a butterfly, but if I do, I'm sure this poem will come to mind, just as memories often do when we catch a certain aroma, or hear a certain song. Wonderful read. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Captivating read , WhtNite |
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