»
Archives
»
Corner Pub #2
»
Race
| Corner Pub #2 |
|
Race |
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
|
I don't think I've actually posted a poem in here. If I have, it's been years :P I suck! :P hehe -------------- The athlete prepares to run the race he stretches bends drinks readying his body, his muscles and bones finally, it is time taking his place he looks at nobody but only at the path ahead that path is his only foe the alert sounds, and he runs a steady path at first, swift enough but nothing that would break him he ends up alone though ahead of the rest trees and mountains pass on each side but all he sees is the path his feet hit the pavement the rhythmic pattern is his favorite song the breath that sustains him the beat of his heart the only sounds that exist sweat beads and drops but he knows nothing but the path, his feet moving him ahead he knows not for how long this lasts but a bead of sweat hits his eye he closes his eyes for a moment and then he falls down hard he’s not hurt, not really but now he looks around it is now dark on the road he is truly alone the dark trees surround him as long as he looked only straight ahead as long as he did nothing but move along he could go without problem but only now, noticing what had happened what was going on does he stand his muscles scream his chest spasms he falls again unable to move for he just realized that he doesn’t know where the hell he’s going Love's a lovely lad His bringing up is beauty Who loves him not is mad For I must pay him duty -Anonymous |
||
| © Copyright 2005 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Oh my goodness. You made that so real. Love, Joyce |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetLovieBuggie~ Welcome to our little CORNER of the world~ I felt winded after the 'Race' ... that's effective writing~  *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
LoL, I'm glad you all found it so realistic,considering I get winded after like, a walk :P lol! Thanks, girls! Love's a lovely lad |
||
|
junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
Enjoyed this one very much. It certainly does give the reader a sense of atmosphere and puts him/her through the experience. Then Wham !!! that last stanza was great  Loved it !! Hugs from June x |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
