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SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

0 posted 2004-07-06 09:26 AM

Grandmother

I buried my grandmother today,
The funeral is over,
All the guests to her small house
Who celebrated her life, her being,
Have finally gone home.
I sit in her rocking chair
Her throw upon my legs
And contentedly smile.

We all enjoyed our get together,
Remembering all that was good,
Dear and amusing about this sweet lady.
We  nibbled on sandwiches
Of cucumber and salmon,
Ate Ruffles Potato Chips
With a blue cheese dip,
Chocolate éclairs and fresh fruit,
All grandma‘s favorite foods.
We washed it all down
With Cold Duck, strong coffee and iced tea.

Doesn’t seem possible that she is gone,
Why was but a week ago
I had pushed her wheelchair… lakeside
We  had lunched on sandwiches
And pink lemonade and fed the ducks.
I had no idea, but I think she knew
That this would be our last farewell.

She was extremely talkative that day,
Far more than normal…talking, just talking
Of her childhood and ‘her’ today.
I remember every word.

You know, my momma and papa doted on me,
I was their only child…
A mid-life baby that happily surprised them,
For they had given up on ever having children.
They dressed me in pretty dresses
Showed me off like a prized possession
And made sure, to the best of their ability
That I never had anything but  bright days.
I lived my early years in wonderment,
Traveling a pathway of love and joy,
They gave me a world of  non-stop rainbows
Beautiful flowers, blue skies and bird laden trees.
Never a worry or a care in my childhood days,
Walking the petal strewn path.

But!
Nights were different…
Once I was tucked in and left alone
In the darkened room, my thoughts would wander.
The pathway of my daytime
Became a dark and barren place.
Trees died and there were no flowers
Or birds or rainbows anymore.
How could this happen?

I know now that simply put
My mind would wrestle
With the hellfire and brimstone preaching’s
Of our Reverend McAllister
At the Old Time Baptist  Church…
I had an enormous fear of death.
Just a simple flick of a light switch
Would change my happy world
Into a self-made hell.
How relieved I always was
To see the flickering signs of a new dawn.

You know, things change
Yet you don’t realize - how or when.
It’s as if your pathways
Slide into each other,
Until they, somehow or other
End up in reversed positions.

I am convinced completely
That we live our hell here,
I say this not with any regrets,
But as a matter of truth…
I have lost two beloved husbands
One to war,
One to cancer,
And two sons…both to war.
I  myself am cancer-stricken,
Wheelchair bound,
So you see this is not the rainbow blue skied
Flower  strewn pathway of my childhood…
But my night time walk of fears.

It is so wonderful to realize
That this reversal can but mean
That on my death I will plant
My feet once again on the pathway
Of my childhood days.
What a blessing this will be
And I am so ready for this next adventure.

I buried my grandmother today,
The funeral is over,
All the guests to her small house
Who celebrated her life, her being,
Have finally gone home.
I sit in her rocking chair
Her throw upon my legs
And contentedly smile.
How well I know she is traveling
Happily… a pathway of love and joy,
Living  in a world of rainbows
Beautiful flowers, blue skies and bird laden trees.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26

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