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rainingwithsun
Junior Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 19
Toledo, Ohio USA

0 posted 2004-05-07 08:44 PM


Moonlight beams
form a darkened sky,
wisp of wind
like a gentle sigh

Stars above
far and wide,
crickets sing,
locusts cry

A lonely dog
barks to the night,
so melancholy
and contrite

The end of day
is peaceful bliss,
my favorite time
to reminisce

© Copyright 2004 Scott Dolbee - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2004-05-07 10:04 PM


Scott~
This is just lovely~

A beautiful poem for a warm summer evening's read~
Thank you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2004-05-07 10:19 PM


Wonderful description of the end to day.  Love, Joyce
Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
3 posted 2004-05-07 10:23 PM


rainingwithsun:  Sounds like my neighborhood in the evening!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

PatAngel
Member
since 2004-04-05
Posts 451
California
4 posted 2004-05-08 12:57 PM


Beautiful writing! What comes to mind is the feeling I have when I return from work and enter my apartment. A wonderful peace surrounds me and all is well. Thank you for sharing.

Love,
Patricia

'When you find a dream within your heart, don't ever let it go.
For dreams are the tiny seeds from which tomorrow grows.'

wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
5 posted 2004-05-08 07:01 PM


impressionistic is the word. I would have loved firmer decisions however, a greater sense of what you want to tell us readers. what is different about your reminiscence from other peoples if you see what i mean?

as it was, i loved it though... this is no crit just suggestion if you were to re-write it...

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

Isobel
Senior Member
since 2004-01-17
Posts 529
Qld, Australia
6 posted 2004-05-10 08:12 AM


rainingwithsun:  This is such a 'peaceful' verse.  I love it.  Thanks for sharing this poem with us all here in PIP.

Love Isobel ox


BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
7 posted 2004-05-14 12:42 PM


Moonlight beams
form a darkened sky,
wisp of wind
like a gentle sigh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Evening glory shines in your gentle poem.
Some things come natural and it seems you have that special something. Well done!

Deb

rainingwithsun
Junior Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 19
Toledo, Ohio USA
8 posted 2004-05-16 11:59 PM


Thank you Deb!
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