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Love Denied Me
| Corner Pub #2 |
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Love Denied Me |
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paraboxer Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 121Maryland, USA |
(AN: A continuation of sort to the poem Dreamscape, so read it first.) Love Denied Me I awake and sit upon my bed. Take a second or two to clear my head. My room mates stopped giving sympathy long ago. I wouldn't blame them, for I heal very slow. The dream I had last night, paradise. But the grim reality of the now, the price. For I know that last night was just a dream. Of the future, maybe, but real it did seem. The warm look in your eyes, shining bright. Your beautiful face framed in the light. My coat draped round your frame to keep you warm. By no means do I mean you any harm. The grim reality is love denied me yet again. Wine from an ancient vintage is the pain. Still my good friend, despite all this strife. I can't imagine you out of my life. But if that's what you require. I'll give you it, though pain it will inspire. Perhaps I'll wander many a foreign land. But then I'll recall the outdoor band. From a warm, little romantic dream. Oh so real did it really seem. Then I'll wake again and remember. That grim night in rainy September. The day you asked me had I met your boyfriend. And the night that my world came to an end. That's when my dream came to exist. My little romantic yearnings do persist. I throughout my childhood was the dreaming boy. Sadly to keep me down, did people enjoy. Teachers saying I'd amount to nothing much. Kids reject dreamers, and I got that as such. Coming to ROTC and college was pretty swell. It helped me ease out of my protective shell. Then I met you our Freshman year. At first I had a bit of fear. A female peer initially kind without a doubt. Then I fall for her and she shuts me out. In December I fell in love with you. Yielding at last to my heart course true. I was careful, deepening the friendship I enjoy. Then this September came and I felt again that boy. The boy in the corner, the one kids kicked about. Lonely, foresaken, abandoned by all with no doubt. About his forlorn state, as ethereal as air. My room mates no longer offer me any real care. But if my suffering is the price for your joy. So be it, I'll bear the cross of that boy. Once more, for you are well worth it to me. Your kindness from my shell set me free. Truth, beauty, freedom, love I believed in again. After my high school years' doubt and great pain. You told me of your holiday plans today. Spending time with your boyfriend, four and a day. At his house in a neighboring state. And I bore my boyhood cross, an uneviable fate. Love is again something denied. That boy in the corner, again he cried. My heart is empty again, I am the abandoned again. To experience rejection, a familiar pain. Over Christmas break, you'll spend time together. I'll try to move on, rebuild, try to recover. I want you to be happy, special and feel only love. Even if not from me, I need strength from above. Lord knows I should be happy for you. And partially I am, but not all the way through. I wish the New Year finds you in my arms. Only if you're willing, if for him are your charms. Go to him, mind not my suffering visage. For you I'll take the pain of this barrage. Again, the lone wanderer who's never felt love. For strength I pray from God above. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Carl - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Carl, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, love didn't deny you, it just couldn't flower completely and soon enough you will have a love that will only make your whole heart a garden that spans the miles of your heart! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, I love this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Carl, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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cusick Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668 |
Paraboxer, this is so lovely but also sad. Hugs. Maggie |
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