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Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself

0 posted 2003-09-08 03:32 PM


My thoughts, they never settle down.
They clash and clamor in my head.
Every question a separate sound.
My thoughts, they never settle down,
like trinkets crashing to the ground.
They keep me far away from bed.
My thoughts, they never settle down.
They clash and clamor in my head.

And in my hand I hold a pen.
The words all want to be written down.
My heart is out and ready to open.
And in my hand I hold a pen,
And from my heart, words ascend.
And I cannot stop the pouring down.
And in my hand I hold a pen.
The words all want to be written down.

Now all the words have found their place.
And the night is silent once more.
So, I set my pen back in its case.
Now all the words have found their place.
And my thoughts are traveling a slower pace.
I shut the light and close the door.
Now all the words have found their place.
And the night is silent once more.



© Copyright 2003 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
1 posted 2003-09-09 11:31 AM


I have no idea what a Triolet is but I like this. Very nice to read.


SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
2 posted 2003-09-09 11:41 AM


Thank you!  I'm glad you liked it.

A triolet is a 8 line poem that includes two rhymes and two refrains. (so actually this poem is three triolets - a trio of triolets ;-)
The 3rd and 5th lines rhyme with the first line.  The 4th line is a repeat of the first line.  And the 6th line rhymes with the second line.  The last two lines are a repeat of the first two lines.  So, the important thing is having two strong first lines.  

They were doing them on one of the discussion boards or workshops or something.  I couldn't post mine there because I'm not a member, so I posted it here.  There were some great tiolets there!  Wow!  It was really fun trying a new poetry form.  I don't usually experiment with that.  

So, I'm SO glad you liked it.  and that it came across well.  Thank you again!  

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-09-09 11:48 AM


hehehe A trio of triolets...good one..gigglessss....I see what you mean. This is really neat, and thanks for the intro into into these Triolets...these are neat!


SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
4 posted 2003-09-09 11:51 AM


Haha!  I thought so too.  You're welcome!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-09-09 12:20 PM


Endlessecho, see Nan.  She's sure to grant your request to join the Poetry Workshop.  Because anyone who can do a trio of triolets certainly needs admittance!  I know how these work - and they're not easy, but I must say, Well Done!
Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
6 posted 2003-09-09 12:27 PM


Oh my goodness!!  Thank you!  um.. I'll email her.  wow.
Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
7 posted 2003-09-09 03:45 PM


Well done.  Triolets are fun.  I've tried them.

These are the instructions I have written down.
A triolet has abaaaba rhyming pattern; usually 8 syllables per line.  The first line is repeated in 4th and 7th.  The second line is repeated in 8th line


This was my first one.

A life is the blink of God's eye
And only He knows why we're here.
It seems that we live but to die;
A life is the blink of God's eye.
We stay until we learn to fly;
Enough time for wings to appear.
A life is the blink of God's eye,
And only He know why we're here.


I had also written it with longer sentences until I read that it should be 8 syllable lines.

A life is but the blinking of the Great Creator's eye.
What we do with that short moment is reason we are here.
The price we pay for living is the knowledge we will die.
A life is but the blinking of the Great Creator's eye.
God gives us just the time we need to get our wings and fly.
What happens is not always the way it would appear.
A life is but the blinking of the Great Creator's eye.
What we do with that short moment is rhe reason we are here.

Love, Joyce



[This message has been edited by Joyce Johnson (09-09-2003 04:05 PM).]

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
8 posted 2003-09-09 06:03 PM


Endlessecho:  Great job and I really enjoyed reading your work.  It would be nice to see more of it and hope you will become a member.

Betty Lou Hebert

Maddy vanD
Member
since 2003-09-06
Posts 99
Newfoundland, Canada
9 posted 2003-09-10 09:36 AM


that's a really good description of the need to write, as well as following the prescribed form very well as well.
i am most impressed, I know I couldn't do half so well on my hundreth try, let alone my first.
Bravo!!

Maddy
Poetry is not pretty....poetry is real

junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
10 posted 2003-09-10 05:15 PM


wow !!!!! so clever

i really enjoyed this.
hugs june xxxxx

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