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HawkeyePierce
New Member
since 2003-08-17
Posts 1


0 posted 2003-08-17 11:46 PM


Immortality

The veil of deception collapsing,
Injured by the perception of humanity.

The scale shifting, balance interrupted.

Life: the perpetual lie -- a malleable falsity.
A universe of abstracts and mendacity.

Engulfed by disease, perplexed by ambition.

Death: the inevitable outcome --
An inescapable expiration.
The evolved dispersion of the individual.

Eternity is tempting.



© Copyright 2003 HawkeyePierce - All Rights Reserved
PointlesS
Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 21
Oconomowoc, Wisconsin
1 posted 2003-08-17 11:49 PM


I like it...may there be more good ones like this to come
Trillium
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
2 posted 2003-08-18 12:42 PM


HawkeyePierce:  Welcome to the site and hope you will enjoy being a member of the Passions in Poetry group.  There are many fine poets here and I can see by your post, your work will be a great addition! Enjoy the site.

Watch for a special e-mail!

Trillium

Betty Lou Hebert

cusick
Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668

3 posted 2003-08-18 09:17 AM


This is a little pessimistic although it doesn't detract from the message. Enjoyed rhe read. Welcome. Maggie
majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
4 posted 2003-08-18 10:38 AM


hey hawkeye welcome to pip - i love the callsign.

the poem was well done. i did not find it pessimistic but rather realistic. eternity may be tempting but ask an elf - it can have its drawbacks.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

gringakiwi
Member
since 2003-08-05
Posts 189

5 posted 2003-08-18 10:51 PM


I wish I was 8 years old again, when I thought that I would live forever..... so harshly realistic......what a great poem. Keep 'em comin!
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-09-19 09:29 PM




(sigh) I too agree this sounds pessimistic but nevertheless you write from the heart and thus this makes quite a wonderful debut, sweet friend, death is inevitable but life is grand for us all to behold, God Bless You! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your heartfelt poetry, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

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