navwin » Archives » Corner Pub #2 » Will you?
Corner Pub #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Will you? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Tristan
Junior Member
since 2003-03-12
Posts 29


0 posted 2003-03-13 01:38 PM




If my walls break apart,
and i crumble to the floor.
Will you be there?

If I decide to change,
and become a new person.
Will you stay here?

If I can't climb out,
of this pit I stumbled into.
Will you help me?

If I can never reach my dreams,
and give up on all hope.
Will you love me?

If my world suddenly shatters,
and I am left to fall.
Will you catch me?

[This message has been edited by Tristan (03-13-2003 02:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Tristan - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2003-03-13 02:02 PM


Tristan~
I like the gently worded questions~
Hope you get a resounding 'yes' to all~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
2 posted 2003-03-13 02:46 PM


I liked this - interesting set of questions.

If I can't climb out,
of this pit I stumbled on to.
Will you help me?


Just a thought here though, in my opinion, would you not have stumbled 'into' a pit rather than 'on to'??????????????????

Really liked the post.

Tristan
Junior Member
since 2003-03-12
Posts 29

3 posted 2003-03-13 02:55 PM


yeah sorry i fixed it
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-03-13 04:41 PM


Very nicely done and much enjoyed!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
5 posted 2003-03-13 07:55 PM


if she truly loves you, a "yes" should be all of the above...

longingly beautiful....

KS

SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
6 posted 2003-03-13 08:07 PM


Looking good!


Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
7 posted 2003-03-14 02:24 PM


I don't know who you're talking to, but I hope someone is there to help you.  Joyce
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
8 posted 2003-03-14 07:15 PM


Will you? I love it.. *sniff* really beautiful. Simply said and beautiful.

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

Flower
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240
California
9 posted 2003-03-15 12:36 PM


Nice and often asked questions I think.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2003-03-15 04:41 PM


Some will and some won't...but we hope those we care about also care about us...James
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
11 posted 2003-06-15 11:37 PM


I missed this? I do hope that they are and will be there to catch you...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

TheGoalie
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 47
Poughkeepsie, Ny/Long Island, Ny
12 posted 2003-06-15 11:57 PM


I like the repetition.  It catches the eye, and keeps the reader engaged.  The sentiment of the poem is also one we've all felt at one time or another I'm sure.  Excellent job.

"Ain't Got no quarrels with God, ain't got no time to grow old.  Lord knows I'm weak, won't somebody get me off of this reef"  

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
13 posted 2003-06-16 12:05 PM


This is nice.

Eliza Simmons
~Every girl has a dream within.
~Yesterday insult, today gain.

midnightblues
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597
Singapore
14 posted 2003-06-16 11:13 AM


Hopeful questions they are, i'm sure every one of us has been there sometime or other. thanks for sharing ^_^

Love
Michelle

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2003-07-02 02:26 AM


just wonderful
BrokenWingedAngel
Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 60

16 posted 2003-07-17 05:51 AM


Short, simple, and beautifully written

You've asked all the questions we've all wondered in life.  May the answers you seek be forever yes.

BWA

I awake to a world I don't want. There is no transition for me. I am in heaven. I am in hell.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Corner Pub #2 » Will you?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary