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What If Life is a Blank
| Corner Pub #2 |
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What If Life is a Blank |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind 
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What if after life Is a lost of memories, A brain wash of what's been wrong? Would we then Truly be happy... Be happy that guilt no longer hold on to it, Or that we feel no shame in what we did? Would our memories then Appear to be scattered pieces Of torns paper that once was completed? What if after life Is a lost of memories, A brain wash of our earthly past? Would we then Be happier in that We don't know about our past? Would we always hope That we would remember part of our current life, So that life is a complete picture but not a dream? Is sadness a sad thing, And is guilt a wrong thing to have? If emotion is only happy, How would we know we are happy? If there is no guilt and shame, Would we know what's right and wrong? //Sorry I don't mean to doubt heaven is good....but here is just question arise in my thought...BTW, I don't quite like the way I've written this poem...so any suggestions are welcome. ~Every girl has a dream within. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Eliza - this was quite interesting. You asked for suggestions...I am no expert...but I would have left out the whole last stanza. I know that sounds strange, but it in itself could have been a little post. Without the last stanza, the poem ended kinda neat I thought. But, that's just me. If you like it the way it is, that is the way it SHOULD be. You really are writing your thoughts easier than I can. I have sat with pen and paper all evening, and nothing. Oh well, I guess my muse needs her beauty sleep. Keep up the good work. hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I like the line in the last verse that says If emotions were only happy How then would we know we were happy. A brilliant thought. How would we? Joyce |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
You're always so humble, which make you lovely Chris, I'm sure words come as easy for you as I do. Thanks for the comment. ~Every girl has a dream within. |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
Thanks Joyce. Maybe our Father has a picture we don't have. And until we are there, we never know what is like. Let's hope what my poem says isn't true. That living a life without guilt won't remove us from being conscience, and that being always happy, won't dim our thankfulness, and gratitude. ~Every girl has a dream within. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ElizaGal~ I like to think of life as a 'bank'~ What we deposit into it ... earns us immeasurable interest that is vested in our future~ I like your questioning verse form ... I feel that it causes others to 'think'~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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bestgirl911 Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551Clio, MI , United We Stand |
I'm going to agree with Marge on this one. I feel that everything that happens in our life makes up who we are. Every broken heart, every touch, every love, every moment. And without those moments we wouldn't be the people we are, because every one of those moments changes us, even if it's in the slightest way. I think you make people think. That's great. Ranea |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Eliza: I like your poem and though we all have questions about life here and here-after, I think we have to trust that God will supply the answers. Betty Lou Hebert |
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