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Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

0 posted 2002-08-24 09:47 PM


Remember the Nursery Rhyme that starts with the line,
"I knew an old woman who swallowed a fly"?

I thought it would be fun to re-write it with a different angle! Here goes,


I know a young woman who swallowed a lie,
I don’t know why she swallowed the lie
(Perhaps she felt homely, a little bit shy).

I know a young woman that swallowed her pride,
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside,
I don’t know why she swallowed the lie
((Perhaps he was cute, but sneaky and sly).

I know a young woman who swallowed his words
Oh how absurd to believe every word!
She swallowed each word to cover her pride
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside
She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie
But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie.
(Perhaps she was lonely, a tiny bit shy).

I know a young woman who married a rat,
Imagine that! She married the rat!
She married the rat and swallowed his words
She swallowed his words to cover her pride
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside
She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie,
But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie
(Perhaps he’s a wealthy, super rich guy).

I know a young woman who carried his child,
With hopes that at last he'd stop running wild,
But she’d married the rat and swallowed his words
Oh how absurd to believe every word!
She swallowed each word to cover her pride
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside.
She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie,
But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie
(Perhaps there were too many stars in her eyes).

I know a young woman who’s had enough,
She swallowed it all and life has been rough.
She kept the house and raised the child,
In hopes that he’d finally quit running wild,
She’d married the rat and swallowed his words,
Oh how absurd to believe every word!
She swallowed each word to cover her pride
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside.
She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie
But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie
(Perhaps he’s sexy, virile and spry)

I know a young woman who bought a big gun,
(a single shot pistol, but mighty big one)
She bought the gun when she’d had enough
for she’d swallowed it all, and life has been rough.
She’d kept the house and raised the child
in hopes that he’d finally stop running wild,
She’d married the rat and swallowed his words
Oh how absurd to believe every word!
She’d swallowed each word to cover her pride
Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside.
She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie
But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie.

Perhaps he’ll die.

















  
  

© Copyright 2002 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
1 posted 2002-08-24 11:16 PM


This is a very good revision.  Much better than the original.  (I hope she doesn't really use the gun.  Maybe she could just scare him to death.)  Joyce
2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
2 posted 2002-08-25 07:29 AM


This is a very good new version nursery rhyme. However, I hope the situation can be settled without a disastrous end. Life continues with options.

Melton

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
3 posted 2002-08-25 09:16 AM


Well, I did say Perhaps...LOL! But perhaps she only bought it because she was always interested in taking up gun collecting as a hobby...after all, she didn't buy any bullets!

Thanks for your comments on my twisted version of the "Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly".

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
4 posted 2002-08-25 11:41 AM


don't know if the woman will shoot the cad but as for me, I swallowed this piece. nicely done my friend.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost



Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
5 posted 2002-08-26 09:50 PM


hehe I thought it was amusing well done this should take its place

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
6 posted 2002-09-04 10:42 PM


ohh I love your take on the old nursery rhyme!!

Kristen

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
7 posted 2002-09-05 05:14 PM


Very clever revision and a story that is often repeated in today's society.
Street Heart
Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349
Pennsylvania,USA
8 posted 2002-09-07 10:42 PM


Hey,Romy,I am here with my friend Jimmy and you're not going to believe this,but just last week he brought this nursery rhyme up for whatever reason...and just yesterday I had the blasted thing going through my mind.We just had a good laugh.It's weird how things happen like that,isn't it?we both enjoyed,thanks
Street Heart
Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349
Pennsylvania,USA
9 posted 2002-11-01 03:19 PM


Just wanted to say that we read again and laughed again.

Thanks,Geoff (and Jimmy)

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2002-11-30 08:09 PM


Romy~
I found this to be so creatively entertaining~
Great job~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

D edgar Grey
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)
11 posted 2002-11-30 10:11 PM


Sigh...the old nursery rhymes finally sound good to me! Excellently written...loved the twisted plot...are there any other nursery rhymes you're gonna play with? Definitely worth the try!!! Thanks for the good read!
Zai jian
Carson
(PS--Hope the woman kills the jack[edit]! He deserves it!)

If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?
Let's get one thing straight: I'm not!

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

12 posted 2002-12-01 12:15 PM


Cool, very cool. He cruel, she fool, life a cruel duel. Enjoyed
aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
13 posted 2002-12-02 05:11 PM


This is fabulous. Nice job.

Eliza Simmons
~Sometimes when I look back at what I wrote, I don't recognize the 'Me' in the past anymore.

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