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Not So Nice Nursery Rhyme
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Not So Nice Nursery Rhyme |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Remember the Nursery Rhyme that starts with the line, "I knew an old woman who swallowed a fly"? I thought it would be fun to re-write it with a different angle! Here goes, I know a young woman who swallowed a lie, I don’t know why she swallowed the lie (Perhaps she felt homely, a little bit shy). I know a young woman that swallowed her pride, Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside, I don’t know why she swallowed the lie ((Perhaps he was cute, but sneaky and sly). I know a young woman who swallowed his words Oh how absurd to believe every word! She swallowed each word to cover her pride Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie. (Perhaps she was lonely, a tiny bit shy). I know a young woman who married a rat, Imagine that! She married the rat! She married the rat and swallowed his words She swallowed his words to cover her pride Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie, But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie (Perhaps he’s a wealthy, super rich guy). I know a young woman who carried his child, With hopes that at last he'd stop running wild, But she’d married the rat and swallowed his words Oh how absurd to believe every word! She swallowed each word to cover her pride Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside. She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie, But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie (Perhaps there were too many stars in her eyes). I know a young woman who’s had enough, She swallowed it all and life has been rough. She kept the house and raised the child, In hopes that he’d finally quit running wild, She’d married the rat and swallowed his words, Oh how absurd to believe every word! She swallowed each word to cover her pride Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside. She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie (Perhaps he’s sexy, virile and spry) I know a young woman who bought a big gun, (a single shot pistol, but mighty big one) She bought the gun when she’d had enough for she’d swallowed it all, and life has been rough. She’d kept the house and raised the child in hopes that he’d finally stop running wild, She’d married the rat and swallowed his words Oh how absurd to believe every word! She’d swallowed each word to cover her pride Stubbornly pushing the rumors aside. She swallowed her pride to ignore the lie But I don’t know why she swallowed the lie. Perhaps he’ll die. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
This is a very good revision. Much better than the original. (I hope she doesn't really use the gun. Maybe she could just scare him to death.) Joyce |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
This is a very good new version nursery rhyme. However, I hope the situation can be settled without a disastrous end. Life continues with options. Melton |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Well, I did say Perhaps...LOL! But perhaps she only bought it because she was always interested in taking up gun collecting as a hobby...after all, she didn't buy any bullets! Thanks for your comments on my twisted version of the "Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly". |
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
don't know if the woman will shoot the cad but as for me, I swallowed this piece. nicely done my friend. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
hehe I thought it was amusing well done this should take its place  If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
 ohh I love your take on the old nursery rhyme!! Kristen |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Very clever revision and a story that is often repeated in today's society. |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Hey,Romy,I am here with my friend Jimmy and you're not going to believe this,but just last week he brought this nursery rhyme up for whatever reason...and just yesterday I had the blasted thing going through my mind.We just had a good laugh.It's weird how things happen like that,isn't it?we both enjoyed,thanks |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
Just wanted to say that we read again and laughed again. Thanks,Geoff (and Jimmy) |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Romy~ I found this to be so creatively entertaining~ Great job~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Sigh...the old nursery rhymes finally sound good to me! Excellently written...loved the twisted plot...are there any other nursery rhymes you're gonna play with? Definitely worth the try!!! Thanks for the good read! Zai jian Carson (PS--Hope the woman kills the jack[edit]! He deserves it!) If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from? |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Cool, very cool. He cruel, she fool, life a cruel duel. Enjoyed |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
This is fabulous. Nice job.Eliza Simmons |
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