navwin » Archives » Corner Pub #2 » untitled
Corner Pub #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic untitled Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

0 posted 2002-08-22 07:28 PM


Hey guys not posted in here for a while so I'll leave you with this.

A dream is just a dream,
But I dream of you again,
Is it really just a dream,
Why are things left unsaid,

And all the while i'm here,
Am I missing something new,
You have changed as a person,
And I have changed with you.

By the way will you guys help me out with a title?

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

© Copyright 2002 Moon Dust - All Rights Reserved
leafseranade
Member
since 2001-07-06
Posts 118
Wisconsin, USA
1 posted 2002-08-23 12:08 PM


great start!  I don't know if you plan on adding verses to this, but I definetly would consider ending with "you have changed with a person, and I have changed with you"  I like that...it gives a satisfying feeling in the reader.  or maybe it's just me, I don't know.

-Kris

leafseranade
Member
since 2001-07-06
Posts 118
Wisconsin, USA
2 posted 2002-08-23 12:11 PM


oh, a title?  hmmm.  Desired Dreams?  That's not a very good suggestion.  Sorry.  I'm still a bit asleep this morning.
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
3 posted 2002-08-24 08:27 PM


I'll have a think it was just a spur of the moment thing and didnt give myself time to think I think i might choose a title somewhere along those lines tho.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
4 posted 2002-08-25 10:34 AM


I think like the previous reader, that
this is a work in progress.  and the title will come to you as you finish it.  Joyce

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
5 posted 2002-08-26 09:52 PM


yeah my muse is being to hasty (blame everything on my muse)

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Corner Pub #2 » untitled

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary