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fallen
| Corner Pub #2 |
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fallen |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again 
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*Fallen* and i'm fading... and i fall down and i call out it's so awful. hear my echo in the dark i let go and it's so far no one hears me... Never fell down Never burned out Never thought i'd say a word and i'm hiding... you don't see me, don't believe me Barely breathing with the dirt inside my chest. it doesn't hurt, but i can't rest. and i'm standing... i know (edited by moderator)and i look up and the top is so far from me. lying naked inside my fears a dirty voice no one hears. in the light, my skin's as black as coals sprawled at the bottom of my hole. and i'm climbing... feel my hands grip, feel the skin rip and my sight drips and the tears i cry tonight will burn across my eyes and It's falling... down around my head; now i make my bed in the teary mud below. lying naked inside my fears a dirty voice no one hears. in the light, my skin's as black as coals sprawled at the bottom of my hole. and the shots ring out from empty guns... god is gone; there's not anyone. one more climb... but i can't take it Will you wait for me to make it? one more time.... Here i'm lying... slowly dying, slowly crying But never shying from the light that's seeping in. dry the mud i'm sleeping in and i'm standing... courage banding, understanding the man i need to be. lying naked inside my fears a dirty voice no one hears. in the light, my skin's as black as coals sprawled at the bottom of my hole. "the choice of futures is made the moment the future you desire is born." [This message has been edited by Denise (01-12-2002 11:30 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ethan Halo - All Rights Reserved | |||
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Wow sounds interesting lonely tho. I breathe the dust, the dust is me. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Wow! I found this very lyrical...it flows down the page very quickly which really emphasizes the "falling". I really enjoyed this! I was drawn in from the start and captivated the whole way through. Into my library it goes  Hugs, ~Krista  Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
*sneaks back in* woops....I ~always~ do that...I forgot to click the library box  |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
This is stark and real and well done. Joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
A sad poem and full of anguish. I hope you win the battle. Betty Lou Hebert |
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bestgirl911 Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551Clio, MI , United We Stand |
How sad ..... Hope you find your way out.... Best |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
very tight imagery here, this is really good. quote: i especially liked this bit. everyone's naked inside their fears, don't you think? we let our fears define us, which i think is a mistake. although this is not a "happy" poem, it is truly an enjoyable read, simply for the level of technical craftsmanship involved. this is really, really good. -Dave |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Ethan, I have to copy this quote as well... "lying naked inside my fears a dirty voice no one hears. in the light, my skin's as black as coals sprawled at the bottom of my hole." You have no idea how much I can relate to those lines. All to well. This is wonderfully written.. I greatly enjoyed. Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
wow, you have written an amazing piece, its definitly one of the best i've read here, i dont' even know what to say. i loved it. i admire your writing ability and thank you so much for sharing. |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Hi Ethan, Was this written to be a song? It is wonderful as a song or a poem though. Some of the most inspired and beautiful writing is in music and I really loved this. Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
(Hey Kitten dont feel bad, its still early. Or at least that is my excuse for not clicking on the library box) |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
wow..some intense imagery here... enjoyed the way youve written this one.. hugs, g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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