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Open Poetry #8
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Dark House
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Dark House |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Dark Housedark house, such little light sighs into you stone walls affright the sun from coming through drapes drawn absorb the sounds of solemn scene ivy vines entangled tongues of deepest green dark house, the thunder rolls across your roof wood floors each somber step an echoed proof small rooms contain the shame and sorrows learned child alone prays for him never to return |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
This should be in dark passions because it would fit their nicely. Great work though. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
gives me an eerie feeling Claire... at the first read... a second read made me think more into it... after a few more, now I am convinced this is way beyond just a dark house... I simply do not want to point at what I feel for now... the profoundity and depth will surely affect me then... as I dwell upon the images of shame and sorrow and the drapes drawn et al such an intrigue... thanks for your poetry regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
i don't think this is "dark" at all ... if the child is praying "for him never to return", then "he" must be gone ... it's left to us to speculate whether he's gone to the store, the bar, the whorehouse or is "he" gone for good (maybe even dead)? ... nice work here Meadowmuse ... love your work more with every read ... My calling before me, let quill be my offering; For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive. M.A. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire--very intriguing...you paint the scene so well...the house almost lives and the question remains. |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Something a little different to what I am used to from your work, but it is indeed great writing. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Unfortunately, far too many dark houses mar our landscape. The tragedy is, even if he doesn't return, the darkness remains. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Yes, there are far too many dark houses in this world....deeply moving and thought provoking work, Meadowmuse. Powerful poetry, but I have come to expect no less from you.  *Krista Knutson* "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." -Barbara DeAngelis |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Superb Claire, There are indeed too many dark houses. . . let us pray that the light shines in them soon. . . Excellent poem. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sorry I almost missed this claire, I admire your talent to create beauty with such seeming ease and lack of pretension...grace, I believe it's called... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Claire, hope you'll forgive me for this, but I really wanted to say, your welcome, publicly. And the best deserves to be read again---okay? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
! |
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Michael Auguste Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 12USA |
Claire, With each new read, I find something else in this small poem. So much said with so few words. Unlike your usual style, darker in some ways, and fascinating. Good work, dear friend |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Friends, my earnest thanks to each of you for responding in such kind fashion to this little poem. Yes, it is a bit of a departure from what you're accustomed to reading from me, and I thank you for letting me know I did alright. Thank you!~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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