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Open Poetry #8
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Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana

0 posted 2000-07-26 09:31 PM


BEFORE:

(September 16, 1968)

I remember the day before I was born...

The sand castles and azure skies

I watched with wide impatient eyes

I yearned to lie in seaside grass

Blue-green days where lovers pass

Envying waves that touched the shore

I wanted all the LIFE in store

Palmettos swayed and seagulls praised the morn

I remember the day before I was born

I was one with rain and waterfall

With canyon echoes and redwoods tall

The moon and sun in celebration

September birds in V formation

Gazing upon the Earth below

So much to feel, so much to know

Between Earth and Heaven, untouched, unworn

I remember the day before I was born

AFTER:


April 30, 1994

I remember the day just after I died...

A river-town with nectarine skies

I watched with tired but patient eyes

Relieved I was to shed those bones

As new colors replaced earth-tones

Flesh it was a familiar bond

And yet I craved this world beyond

Endless space is as black as it is wide

I remember the day just after I died

The wind and rain, the graveside mass

Dirty headstones and yellow grass

The moon and sun in hesitation

I rose to join a V formation

Gazing upon the Earth below

So much was felt, the fear and woe

From Purgatory I heard as he cried…

“Twenty-five years young and now suicide?

Damn you are selfish! What was in your head?

(A gun in your mouth to paint the bathroom red)

Damn you and your pain, Damn me and my pride!”


I remember the day just after I died




[This message has been edited by Toddles (edited 07-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Todd-Michael Phillips - All Rights Reserved
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
1 posted 2000-07-26 11:28 PM


Oh Todd how darkly painful to feel so deeply...this is, how can you call it wonderful when it just aches...but wonderful it is my friend.

never say never

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-07-26 11:47 PM


Brilliant writing, Todd....
X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
3 posted 2000-07-26 11:55 PM


Very nice Todd, it caught me off guard at first lol, my birthday is quite close to that date (1 yr off tho) and when I saw it first I thought it was the same date...ya had me freaked out.

I did like this, suicide is very selfish, and portraying it this way instead of glamourizing it is great!
~H

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
4 posted 2000-07-27 01:15 AM


Paula, Once again I want to send you a SINCERE thank you, I enjoy experimenting with new styles and topics. Glad you liked it!


Balladeer, Your generous praises have been the ultimate compliment! Thanks again!


xAngel, your continued encouragement is something I do not take for granted! Many Thanks!

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
5 posted 2000-07-27 01:28 AM


Toddles,  
This poem brought back some hard memories and feelings from the past.. but that is what good writing does, evoke emotion.  I liked it alot.
                   rosepetals25

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
6 posted 2000-07-27 02:44 AM


RosePetals25: Again thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
7 posted 2000-07-27 03:11 AM


Todd, another piece of superb work.
                          Juls

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
8 posted 2000-07-27 04:17 AM


Juls: Thank you for your continued enthusiasm!!!
Tallulah
Junior Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 28

9 posted 2000-07-27 02:44 PM


Very well constructed and well thought out! Bravo!!!

[This message has been edited by Tallulah (edited 07-27-2000).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-07-27 02:46 PM


A classic and a masterpiece....

Truly brilliant work, Toddles...

regards,
sudhir

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
11 posted 2000-07-27 07:41 PM


Sudhir: I am truly humbled by you sentiments!!!!!!!!

N2Wishin
Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38

12 posted 2000-07-27 11:51 PM


Nice Work!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-07-28 01:18 PM


You are indubitably talented, Todd.. Very nice piece of work here..
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
14 posted 2000-07-28 01:28 PM


The title was enticing, but this powerful poem blew me over. I wasn't expecting such an ending. This is an exceptional poem, and I agree with Nan. You are a very talented writer
Liz

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
15 posted 2000-07-28 03:28 PM


Nan: I confess I had to look up the word INDUBITABLY (Too apparent to be doubted; unquestionable.) is what Dictionary.com says. And having these words come from you means a LOT to me, especially so!!!!!


Elizabeth: What an encouraging response & I offer you my sincerest THANKS!!!


[This message has been edited by Toddles (edited 07-28-2000).]

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
16 posted 2000-07-28 03:30 PM


YES and you too  N2Wishin, Thanks & welcome!!!

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
17 posted 2000-07-28 10:44 PM


!

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
18 posted 2000-07-28 10:49 PM


You must work that muse of yours overtime or something!!  You have an amazing talent for writing many different styles and making them all look so easy.  I really enjoy reading every one of your posts.  

--You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.--

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
19 posted 2000-07-29 12:45 PM


Thank You Tennessee Angel!

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
20 posted 2000-07-29 11:52 AM


!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2000-07-29 03:33 PM


"Damn you and your pain, damn me and my pride."  These lines have such an impact within the context of your writing.  Excellent writing...James
Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
22 posted 2000-07-29 07:43 PM


Thank you James!

N2Wishin
Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38

23 posted 2000-07-30 02:52 AM


Almost too painful, but still great!
Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
24 posted 2000-07-30 03:06 PM


Thanks Again!
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
25 posted 2000-07-30 03:50 PM


Beautiful flow of both thoughts and rhythm Todd ... a wonderful, and thought-provoking read, much enjoyed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
26 posted 2000-07-30 04:21 PM


Kit: Much Appreciated!

N2Wishin
Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 38

27 posted 2000-07-31 01:45 AM


Had to come back for another read, even better the second time!
Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
28 posted 2000-07-31 09:57 PM


aaaahhhhhhhhh Thanx!

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