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Open Poetry #8
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-07-25 01:23 AM


I never heard it ticking,
tho at times I tried to catch
the movement of the hands...
and though I honored her,
her tides and seasons,
I didn't seem to realize
with every phase
of wax and wane
she touched me gently...
prodding on...

I never counted my steps
impressed upon the dampened shore
and yet I cried
expressed regret
as tide erased in foam lace wave
the path I'd walked before...

Sometimes the ticking ticking ticking
drives me unrelenting,
but still I honor her--
better now,
with more decorum,
for she touched me with a silent hand,
and silver paint adorns my hair,
and creases line my mouth
amused themselves
by so much smiling...

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-07-25 01:25 AM


this is perfect sen just perfect dont know waht to say but that  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-07-25 03:29 AM


thanks walt...love your work, love your generous replies...I thank you.
T McCoy
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186

3 posted 2000-07-25 03:52 AM


wow...I can only agree with wayoutwalt...this is great.  Thanks for the welcome.  Tony
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
4 posted 2000-07-25 08:46 AM


This is simply beautiful Serenity, an incredible poem, with an outstanding title.  Bonnie
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

5 posted 2000-07-25 09:26 AM


hi serenity ... water's the theme these days ... great work here ...

for she touched me with a silent hand,
and silver paint adorns my hair,
and creases line my mouth
amused themselves
by so much smiling ...

this is nice ...

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-07-25 09:29 AM


for she touched me with a silent hand,
and silver paint adorns my hair,
....
Wowing the waves... such a wonderful work...

true serenity indeed...

regards, sudhir

TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
7 posted 2000-07-25 10:04 AM


serenity~
    Oh, my friend, this is so wonderful!  I just love the way this one flows and ebbs across my soul.  You have outdone yourself yet again, dear!  

Love Ya!


~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2000-07-25 10:17 AM


Serenity--This is so beautifully done...thank you for the grace of you.
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
9 posted 2000-07-25 10:56 AM


yes I agree with all..this  matches your name in it's  serenity
~~softly enjoying it
Maureen

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
10 posted 2000-07-25 11:21 AM


The sea of time stands still for none of us... true... well written...erasing our footprints..

read it twice

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2000-07-25 02:33 PM


just wanted to say a quick thank you from the tip of my head to the bottom of my sandy feet...especially so to Martie---you actually made me hug myself there...thank you for YOUR graciousness...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2000-07-25 04:17 PM


and though I honored her,
her tides and seasons,
I didn't seem to realize
with every phase
of wax and wane
she touched me gently...
prodding on...
I never counted my steps
impressed upon the dampened shore
and yet I cried
expressed regret
as tide erased in foam lace wave
the path I'd walked before...
=======================
and "she" inspired a most pretty poem in you too me twin...
so very lovely

no looking back me twin...
let the tides and moons carry you ahead..
and remember...
we dont grow older...
we age like fine wines...
(tho i feel like MD20) LOL
love the imagery and wisdom of this graceful beauty me twin...
love ya
me



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2000-07-25 04:19 PM


Phew...thank you for that wonderful kiss on the cheek!!!lol...I go now to defrag the house...thank you m'twin...
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2000-07-25 04:22 PM


Serenity this is so beautifully done.... I was hooked from beginning to end..flows so smoothly.....wonderful....
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
15 posted 2000-07-25 06:01 PM


serenity,
This was very touching, thanks for letting me stop by for a read.


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
16 posted 2000-07-25 06:16 PM


Timeless travels erased in the sand.  Now I know where they get that sand for the hour glass.LOL  Loved the walk on the beach with you.  Relaxing read.
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
17 posted 2000-07-26 12:20 PM


serenity,
         just wonderful. . . I can almost hear the ocean. . .

Superb my friend. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Holly
Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 127
Arkansas
18 posted 2000-07-26 12:34 PM


This is so sweet...I like the line "she touched me with a silent hand"...wonderful work!
love & all,
-Holly


I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.
Michel de Montaigne


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2000-07-26 01:33 AM


Wow...I am very touched by the response to this...you all have my humble gratitude...and now, if I may, allow myself one tiny happy screen dance?  Thanks, all...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
20 posted 2000-07-26 02:06 AM


Serenity~
Moonlit shores spring to mind -
aglow with waves of light from you.

Lacing my thought with smiles.
This is a lovely piece.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
21 posted 2000-07-26 02:08 AM


Well done. Great use of words.
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
22 posted 2000-07-26 02:14 AM


I know I read this...and I was sure I posted a reply...shows what I know...   Well then..I'll get on with it...this fell beautifully within the pattern of those lacey waves...had a dreamy effect that was
very soft, beautiful work~

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
23 posted 2001-08-02 04:24 PM



Wow!  This is beyond beautiful and stirring.
I love the way you write  

Melissa~

[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 08-02-2001).]

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