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Open Poetry #8
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summer day, summer evening
| Open Poetry #8 |
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summer day, summer evening |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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The day is hot. Heat is not Icy, See? Icy, See? The pool is cool. Heat makes us a fool Everyday. Darn, I say. Ice away. Fahrenheit. Fuzzy sight. Everyday; Reading books. Energy cooks Noodles, Cooks oodles of Everything. Because Everything's in The Way! Everything! Everything? Nay. Go on the web, And to cool off, Read some poems. But let me confide: A large amount will comprise Gunk like this one. Everyone ready to go outside? - A palm tree faces north toward the water of the pool. North -- outside the rays of sunlight pressing heat. Down east, the sky is readying for the moon. People spread themselves as still-life flowers, On chairs stretched like nets across the walk. Enter left; just try to avoid them. Temptation will assure you take a seat soon. Relax. Summer evenings make you tired. You will unfold in tomorrow's bloom. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 07-23-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Read like a hug...thanks mike...cool poem. I enjoyed it much. Although I'm not sure I understand...ROFL...(psst...iseekyou..lol) oh, and should I have made it obvious? Or should we wait and see? [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 07-23-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh yes...it was a hot one today...everything is melting...especially the icy...quite a visual here...I especially like the evening! |
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Richard McDonald Junior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 29Queensland, Australia |
A very well constructed poem, fast moving which actually made me read quicker. A hard effect to achieve and you have done it well. I also like the change of pace. Well done! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ Fast moving little piece .. sort of like the melting icy of the day ... and then you hid this little jewel in there - 'Down east, the sky is readying for the moon.' Yeah .... I like !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A palm tree faces north toward the water of the pool. North -- outside the rays of sunlight pressing heat. Down east, the sky is readying for the moon. People spread themselves as still-life flowers, On chairs stretched like nets across the walk. Enter left; just try to avoid them. Temptation will assure you take a seat soon. Relax. Summer evenings make you tired. You will unfold in tomorrow's bloom. ------------------- if you get any poetically cooler... we are gonna be reading the wisdom of your juice pop sticks  WAY cool poem poet-squirrel later-grape-flavor-gator bs/jm |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Oh well. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
S'en, You're the only one who got it. Give me a break. Martie, You missed the point of the poem entirely, but thanks for playing. Richard, That "quicker pace and structure" you speak of is actually me cramming a message into the poem. But S'en was the only one who got it. I'm beginning to wonder if people are willingly in denial. It's soooo blatant.Marge, Even the deer missed it! J.M., Arrrgh! (this was as misread as that "note to new poets" thing) Mike, unbelieving |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
The difference? Yes I see it Very cool Mike! |
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