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Open Poetry #8
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poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia

0 posted 2000-07-22 10:29 AM



Please let me close my eyes
For I am weary and disheartened
I have traveled an endless distance
To search out the meaning of life
Countless doors have been closed in my face
And leagues of strangers wash past me
As if I were invisible
A mere illusion at most
And though I hear their many voices
Not one sound can I capture
For their thoughts are too fleeting

I'd been warned that i would drown
In a sea of confessions, lies, and misdeeds
But I wanted to believe that I was stronger
That I too could walk on water
But after so many years Im soaked to the bone
And the brilliance of wisdom no longer warms me
And the only discovery i have made on my journey
Is that im weary and disheartened
Please let me close my eyes.

© Copyright 2000 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
1 posted 2000-07-22 10:33 AM


Oh how well I know this feeling...lost confuzed...dazed by lifes little twists...wonderful read

never say never

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2000-07-22 10:41 AM


Life can be a mental struggle but, of all the qualities that mankind possesses love is the greatest and it cures all things. That love can be found, for without it there would be no morality and decency.....those nameless faces are all affected by the same constants
However, your being tired and weary and wanting to close your eyes to escape, brought out of you an excellent poem, very tastefully done!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-07-22 11:30 AM


PoutPrincess~
Have we not all felt this great line -

'I wanted to believe that I was stronger
That I too could walk on water'

At one time or another, I'm sure we have.
Enjoyed the read.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
4 posted 2000-07-22 12:40 PM


thank you Paula, ethome, and Marge for taking the time to read and respond to my poem....i truly appreciate your comments
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
5 posted 2000-07-22 08:01 PM


this was a very soft, mellow and touching read...most enjoyable, princess...(left off the pout as this was too nicely done..no pouting here)
~~soft smiles
Maureen

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2000-07-23 12:32 PM


I'm sure that we all have felt that way. . .

Excellent poem my friend. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
7 posted 2000-07-23 02:12 PM


Ah, thank you both very much for you kind comments...no matter how weary the traveller, there is always a kind stranger somewhere to bring up his spirits! thank you again
Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
8 posted 2000-07-24 02:20 AM


~Pout....Sorry i havent replied to this sooner. Times slipping away from me...Loved this read..Keep it up 99~
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

9 posted 2000-07-24 08:54 PM


Naturally we have all felt downtrodden, defeated, and exhausted, but you have indeed expressed it well here.  

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2000-07-24 08:59 PM


Wonderful images here that bring to life the feelings behind them.  I know we have all been there at one time or another.  Great writing.  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-07-25 05:46 PM


I think we all need to hibernate from the world for a while just let ourselves slip into complete unawareness and peace. Next time close your eyes and the let the world vanish for a few hours while you fly free. A wonderfully written poem.

"A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-05-23 09:51 PM


I know how you feel
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