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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2000-07-21 04:04 PM


Oh desire, she burns upon my brow
A wild candle enticing in her
seductive sway scalding my eyes
and hooking me with frivolous deceit.
She is a piece of flesh flashing fanatic
in twilight my hands flutter as butterfly wings
across her face, "what dreams may I steal from you?"
her only song, only one I want to hear.  

And she is hauling me, a slab of pleasure,
on parade, fertile flowers to kiss,
placed to rest upon welcoming
pillow breast. My head is spinning
wild they toss and throw my naked hide
twisting towards the ceiling is bare
skin as the floor is open mouths
chained in rings of starved loins.

The least caress leaves its mark,
A kiss becomes a open flesh wound
a watering hole for them
to lap and bathe in blood, their wine
now my wound, often was drained
from below their thighs.
I am but a statute a hive
this open nerve I detest.
A strange mouth envelops
vomiting a bile whiskey then:
I am drunk and falsities do not concern me.
I care not for the lies of plasticity
chained to her bodice, to drown in her crevasse.

A feast is laid, I again am the main course,
A chain strains the nerve breaks
and the cistern uncoils I erupt
a deluge of humanity a populous
sprayed upon these wild creatures.
They feast, then hibernate in the
recesses of memory. I am alone
be accountable for this shared atrocity.  
The celebration ends and again
everything is meaningless.
--------------------------------------
"The silence when doors open wide
Where people could pay to see inside
For entertainment they watch his body twist
Behind his eyes he says I still exist
This is the way, step inside"

Atrocity Exhibition by Joy Division



why must we pray
screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

1 posted 2000-07-21 04:11 PM


not quite sure what is means yet, but it's beautiful ... i'll give it another couple of goes, and as typical of your work, will get more beautiful and more meaningful everytime i read it (your work that is) ... great work ...

lots of pieces to put together in this one ... vocabulary is strong as i've read anywhere ... nice work



[This message has been edited by MA Miller (edited 07-21-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-07-21 04:30 PM


There is indeed so much to think about here---this is so tormented--I'll be back, after I have thought about this some more...'tis deep.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-07-21 05:01 PM


OH MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOWOWOWOW
damn Bri...this rocks and kicks poetic butt
WAY DEEP...
TYLENOL ...i need me tylenol!!!!! haha
VERY COOL...
I'd have to cut and paste every line
to show which ones I liked best...
and the song verse..PERFECT!!!!!!!
(even if its not MB20) LOL  
awesome writing Bri
amazing imagery...
made me see things I dont wanna see   LOL
later-desire-gator
eve

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-07-21 05:13 PM


Wow!  What a cut and torment of words...I think I am bleeding...very powerful writing!
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2000-07-21 06:06 PM


Wow!!


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


linda munday
Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315
Adelaide, Australia
6 posted 2000-07-21 10:35 PM


Brian,
Let me go read it again.  But on first read I felt a strong sense of the powerful, yet undefined.
It will be a pleasure to read it again...
Linda M.

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2000-07-22 09:47 AM


MA, I am glad you found the beauty in this poem. It is indeed nicer to smell the roses and ignore the carcasses ( yet another reference to the book "The Torture Garden".
I agree there is a certain beauty in the poem but it is a double edged sword. Thanks for your wonderful comments.

serenity, sorry if this was too intense. Fortunately I see sun shine and summer today. Just one of my intense bursts. I look forward to your thoughts on this. Thanks for reading and replying.

Jan, yes MB20 don't have much in common in JOy Division. I think I need some tylenol.  
Yes looks like I am back to taking people on tours of darkness. Welcome to the "torture garden" tours. remember not to feed the prisoner and not to touch the severed limbs. LOL. Anyway, thanks for your wonderful words. those droplets of sunshine.  

Martie, sorry about the sharp edges. I apologise. Thanks for your wonderful reply.

Jamie, thank you.

linda, thank for your lovely comments.
========================
Atrocity Exhibition - Joy Division.
words by Ian Curtis.  

"The silence when doors open wide
Where people could pay to see inside
For entertainment they watch his body twist
Behind his eyes he says I still exist
This is the way, step inside (4)


In arenas he kills for a prize
Wins a minute to add to his life
But the sickness is drowned by cries for more
Pray to God make it quick - watch him fall
This is the way, step inside (4)


This is the way (4) This is the way, step inside
You'll see the horrors of a far-away place
Meet the architects of law face to face
See mass murder on a scale you've never seen
And all the ones who tried hard to succeed
This is the way, step inside (4)


And I picked on the whims of a thousand more
Still pursuing the path that's been buried
For years of dead woods and jungles and cities on fire, can't replace or relate, can't release or repair -
take my hand, and I'll show you what was - it will"

  



why must we pray
screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-07-22 12:02 PM


Powerful images. Articulate writing, Brian.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
9 posted 2000-07-22 03:14 PM


Claire, thank you for your wonderful response.

why must we pray
screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
10 posted 2000-07-22 03:27 PM


I felt you were talking about the desires, the temptations of the flesh, and how it deceives you, pulls you into its web,giving pleasure for short time, only to be tortured by your mistakes and leaves you sick from the memories , makeing your soul feel like vomiting,these are the many ways  flesh and desire controls us, destroys us, it could be something beautiful, yet it could turn dangerous...Just what I felt as I read it~  

[This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (edited 07-22-2000).]

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-07-22 07:51 PM


A Romantic Heart, thanks for your comments and thoughts. Yes my train of thought lay somewhere along those lines. THanks for reading and replying


why must we pray
screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2000-07-22 08:17 PM


Brian.....Man I don't know..it's..it's just a tremendous display of vocabulary. I, well, I, think you'd like the act to mean something from the heart rather than leave yourself wasted inside.

The following song goes something like this..

"So I sing you to sleep
after the loving
with a song I just wrote yesterday
and I hope you can hear
what the words and the music have to say.

It's so hard to say
just what I'm feeling
face to face I just seem to go dry.
But I love you so much
the sound of your voice can get me high.

I want to thank you
for a one way trip to the sun
I want to thank you
for making me a someone.

(can't remember this verse)

After the lovin
I'm still in love with you......

words might not be exactly right have'nt heard that song for years but I offer them as an explaination.......MAYBE?

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
13 posted 2000-07-23 07:52 AM


Ethome, thanks for the song lyrics. I think the poem lies somewhere in between being a heartfelt emotion and a feeling of emptiness. For me there is light in the poem "The celebration ends and again
everything is meaningless". I guess I would make comparisons to J.G Ballard's "Crash"
my point I guess is that at the end there is a feeling peace, an understanding or acceptance. Anyway ranting here. Thanks for your generous words, thanks.  

==============
"She Is Suffering

Beauty finds refuge in herself
Lovers wrapped inside each others lies
Beauty is such a terrible thing
She is suffering yet more than death

She is suffering
She sucks you deeper in
She is suffering
You exist within her shadow

Beauty she is scarred into man's soul
A flower attracting lust, vice and sin
A vine that can strangle life from a tree
Carrion, surrounding, picking on leaves

She is suffering
She sucks you deeper in
She is suffering
You exist within her shadow

Beauty she poisons unfaithful all
Stifled, her touch is leprous and pale
The less she gives the more you need her
No thoughts to forget when we were children

She is suffering
She sucks you deeper in
She is suffering
Nature's lukewarm pleasure"

words by Richey Edwards (Manic street preachers.)



"A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun

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