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Open Poetry #8
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The atrocity of flesh
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The atrocity of flesh |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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Oh desire, she burns upon my brow A wild candle enticing in her seductive sway scalding my eyes and hooking me with frivolous deceit. She is a piece of flesh flashing fanatic in twilight my hands flutter as butterfly wings across her face, "what dreams may I steal from you?" her only song, only one I want to hear. And she is hauling me, a slab of pleasure, on parade, fertile flowers to kiss, placed to rest upon welcoming pillow breast. My head is spinning wild they toss and throw my naked hide twisting towards the ceiling is bare skin as the floor is open mouths chained in rings of starved loins. The least caress leaves its mark, A kiss becomes a open flesh wound a watering hole for them to lap and bathe in blood, their wine now my wound, often was drained from below their thighs. I am but a statute a hive this open nerve I detest. A strange mouth envelops vomiting a bile whiskey then: I am drunk and falsities do not concern me. I care not for the lies of plasticity chained to her bodice, to drown in her crevasse. A feast is laid, I again am the main course, A chain strains the nerve breaks and the cistern uncoils I erupt a deluge of humanity a populous sprayed upon these wild creatures. They feast, then hibernate in the recesses of memory. I am alone be accountable for this shared atrocity. The celebration ends and again everything is meaningless. -------------------------------------- "The silence when doors open wide Where people could pay to see inside For entertainment they watch his body twist Behind his eyes he says I still exist This is the way, step inside" Atrocity Exhibition by Joy Division why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
not quite sure what is means yet, but it's beautiful ... i'll give it another couple of goes, and as typical of your work, will get more beautiful and more meaningful everytime i read it (your work that is) ... great work ... lots of pieces to put together in this one ... vocabulary is strong as i've read anywhere ... nice work [This message has been edited by MA Miller (edited 07-21-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
There is indeed so much to think about here---this is so tormented--I'll be back, after I have thought about this some more...'tis deep. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
OH MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOWOWOWOW damn Bri...this rocks and kicks poetic butt WAY DEEP... TYLENOL ...i need me tylenol!!!!! haha VERY COOL... I'd have to cut and paste every line to show which ones I liked best... and the song verse..PERFECT!!!!!!! (even if its not MB20) LOL  awesome writing Bri amazing imagery... made me see things I dont wanna see  LOLlater-desire-gator eve |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow! What a cut and torment of words...I think I am bleeding...very powerful writing! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Wow!! Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Brian, Let me go read it again. But on first read I felt a strong sense of the powerful, yet undefined. It will be a pleasure to read it again... Linda M. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
MA, I am glad you found the beauty in this poem. It is indeed nicer to smell the roses and ignore the carcasses ( yet another reference to the book "The Torture Garden". I agree there is a certain beauty in the poem but it is a double edged sword. Thanks for your wonderful comments. serenity, sorry if this was too intense. Fortunately I see sun shine and summer today. Just one of my intense bursts. I look forward to your thoughts on this. Thanks for reading and replying. Jan, yes MB20 don't have much in common in JOy Division. I think I need some tylenol. Yes looks like I am back to taking people on tours of darkness. Welcome to the "torture garden" tours. remember not to feed the prisoner and not to touch the severed limbs. LOL. Anyway, thanks for your wonderful words. those droplets of sunshine.  Martie, sorry about the sharp edges. I apologise. Thanks for your wonderful reply. Jamie, thank you. linda, thank for your lovely comments. ======================== Atrocity Exhibition - Joy Division. words by Ian Curtis. "The silence when doors open wide Where people could pay to see inside For entertainment they watch his body twist Behind his eyes he says I still exist This is the way, step inside (4) In arenas he kills for a prize Wins a minute to add to his life But the sickness is drowned by cries for more Pray to God make it quick - watch him fall This is the way, step inside (4) This is the way (4) This is the way, step inside You'll see the horrors of a far-away place Meet the architects of law face to face See mass murder on a scale you've never seen And all the ones who tried hard to succeed This is the way, step inside (4) And I picked on the whims of a thousand more Still pursuing the path that's been buried For years of dead woods and jungles and cities on fire, can't replace or relate, can't release or repair - take my hand, and I'll show you what was - it will" why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Powerful images. Articulate writing, Brian. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Claire, thank you for your wonderful response. why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
I felt you were talking about the desires, the temptations of the flesh, and how it deceives you, pulls you into its web,giving pleasure for short time, only to be tortured by your mistakes and leaves you sick from the memories , makeing your soul feel like vomiting,these are the many ways flesh and desire controls us, destroys us, it could be something beautiful, yet it could turn dangerous...Just what I felt as I read it~ [This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (edited 07-22-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
A Romantic Heart, thanks for your comments and thoughts. Yes my train of thought lay somewhere along those lines. THanks for reading and replying why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Brian.....Man I don't know..it's..it's just a tremendous display of vocabulary. I, well, I, think you'd like the act to mean something from the heart rather than leave yourself wasted inside. The following song goes something like this.. "So I sing you to sleep after the loving with a song I just wrote yesterday and I hope you can hear what the words and the music have to say. It's so hard to say just what I'm feeling face to face I just seem to go dry. But I love you so much the sound of your voice can get me high. I want to thank you for a one way trip to the sun I want to thank you for making me a someone. (can't remember this verse) After the lovin I'm still in love with you...... words might not be exactly right have'nt heard that song for years but I offer them as an explaination.......MAYBE? |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Ethome, thanks for the song lyrics. I think the poem lies somewhere in between being a heartfelt emotion and a feeling of emptiness. For me there is light in the poem "The celebration ends and again everything is meaningless". I guess I would make comparisons to J.G Ballard's "Crash" my point I guess is that at the end there is a feeling peace, an understanding or acceptance. Anyway ranting here. Thanks for your generous words, thanks. ============== "She Is Suffering Beauty finds refuge in herself Lovers wrapped inside each others lies Beauty is such a terrible thing She is suffering yet more than death She is suffering She sucks you deeper in She is suffering You exist within her shadow Beauty she is scarred into man's soul A flower attracting lust, vice and sin A vine that can strangle life from a tree Carrion, surrounding, picking on leaves She is suffering She sucks you deeper in She is suffering You exist within her shadow Beauty she poisons unfaithful all Stifled, her touch is leprous and pale The less she gives the more you need her No thoughts to forget when we were children She is suffering She sucks you deeper in She is suffering Nature's lukewarm pleasure" words by Richey Edwards (Manic street preachers.) "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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