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Open Poetry #8
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chains of serenity--Challenge #5
| Open Poetry #8 |
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chains of serenity--Challenge #5 |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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in the garden of life she stands chained to this tree and watches the world go by she speaks but no one hears she watches but does not see the spike that keeps her to the tree is buried deep deep into the tree deeper still into her heart this is her existence the life to which she has been given is is meant to be this way? she knows not. . . she wonders alone her tears no longer flow her heart lies in front of her, broken the chains that hold her they are heavy heavier still is her grief one will come she knows not when it will end and so she waits here chained to this tree in the garden feeling not the pain of her soul the pain that is now part of her but she will be free free of the chains free to be. . . serenity. . . ------------------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
That was absolutely great! You write so well! Sauni Sauni :) |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
If I may be so bold and this is just between us.  I have been going back and reading thru a lot of your poetry. You are a very good writer, but I noticed a change when you started writing the different forms of poetry, and I must say that I enjoyed your poetry written before this stage, a lot more than I do now.Please don't be hurt by that. I mean you are capable of so much better...I noticed it especially with your 'knights' poetry...and this change does not suit you. Sorry if this offends you or others that will be reading it, but I miss the way you 'used' to write.  Gossamerwings ;) |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Sven~ I found this so sad my friend...but you write well indeed Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ah...boy..you are indeed a Sveetie! I forgot that you'd taken this one on...I thank ye much for your eloquence and sensitivity...but I do feel I should clarify, I am not spiked to the tree...Oh, my I love ya much, but my life is so confusing it's hard for me to figure it out, and I'm over here sitting in the middle of it. I thank you so much for your sveet and lovely poem...you, sir, are very cavalier! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sven has the ladies swooning while his words he is fine tuning to fit a name to every song Sven, Passions is where you belong! Have you been told yet today how much we appreciate your every word!? |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I have to ditto Sunshine's words when we say that you are appreciated here. I find such tender honesty in your poems and this one is no exception. The style and the flow are true Perfection. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Thank you all. . . Saunni, thank you. . . goassmerwings, I am sorry that you did not enjoy this. . . these challenges and my poetic form poems are just part of an attempt to broaden my writing. . . I am glad that you have enjoyed my previous work. . . I would love to talk to you more about this. . . and would like to know why you feel this way. . . please feel free to e-mail me with any further comments that you may have. . . thanks. . . tracie, thank you as always. . . and I am glad that you enjoyed. . . Sunshine. . .  . . . you're making me blush!! Thank you for your words. . . they mean a lot to me. . . and I know in my heart that I am appreciated by many here. . . thank you for that!!Mark, thank you. . . as I've said before, it's the only way that I know how to write. . . glad that you enjoyed and thank you again. . . serenity, how could I have forgotten? I enjoyed doing this for you. . . and I know that you're not spiked to the tree. . . I am honored to call you a friend and I hope that we can continue to be friends for a long time. . . thank you for your challenge and for your words. . . I humbly bow to you kind lady. . . thank you. . .-------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
I think that all of your newer poetry is absolutly wonderful!!!!!! I really enjoy all the new forms of poetry you are trying out. It certainly shows your versatility to your writing abilities as well as your ambition to always try to improve your poetry. When you write from your heart, I enjoy your poetry the best! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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monique Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369Louisiana |
This is a beautiful hopeful piece of heart I feel, like i am chained to many trees But a lot of the poem i read here helps me to be not so morose monique |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
wow wonderful poem, some great images. why must we pray screaming? why must not death be redefined? we shut our eyes we stretch out our arms and whirl on a pane of glass-patti smith |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great stuff, Sven! intense images painted with the pen. Keep on using the pen.....Sven I enjoyed very much, I love that style... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Marina, thank you my friend. . . I am glad that you like these. . . I do always try to write from the heart. . . monique, my friend, I am glad that I was able to help bring some light into your life with this one. . . Brian, thank you, but the credit for the setting must go to serenity. . . ethome, thank you. . . my pen is indeed my brush. . . and I am glad that you like the "pictures" that I paint. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like your title here! And the poem..and if you want to try new forms, that's great too.  |
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