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Passions in Poetry

And I let her go...

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Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


0 posted 07-19-2000 04:30 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Friends,
This was written whiel travelling in a tram coming to work... takes about 30 minutes to reach my office... and this might have turned long and winded like a tram-line...    

I had fun albeit on a sad subject... I hope you enjoy this...

regards, sudhir.
----------------

And I let her go...


We had our time -
the Time of our lives
Some would call it
a Whale of a Time;
Never knew what
they meant anyway
Took it to be a
compliment always.

We fought, we shouted,
we kissed and made up,
In love we were
committed parties;
At times doves, and
sometimes ravens and crows.
Cuddled each other -
pecked ears too!

"You are good looking" said she
and the looking glass broke;
"You are the kindest soul"
I heard and the cat, she died!
"You are the bravest of all" she said
while I tumbled down the stairs;
While a broken foot hung, she took
me in her arms and said "I love you" -
And I fell down from the bed
And broke my jaw, lost a tooth!

Well, life went on,
I never thought of
The accidents that hit me;
I walked with a limp,
And a lump in my throat,
Caused by the food
I couldn't chew with
my lost tooth!

We still fought and shouted,
We kissed and often made up,
In a 'matured' life we were still
Committed parties;
At times doves, but
Mostly ravens and crows.
Cuddled each other less
And bit ears aplenty!

Then the bank crashed,
And bankers went out of job,
I lost my money, assurances of life,
holdings of love
and
Felt lost with dreams awash,
Harsh truth of life hit me
Now like a cold wave
Off the seashore.

She came to me and said
"Ah, a toothless man, you Fagin"
I let out a knowing smile, made her furious -
"You grin, you smile at my fate
After I gave you all I had to give
And you gamble your money in the bank
Lose it all and come back,
you shameless poor wretch,
How I hate this shambled you and
despise myself for being a fool"

"In fact I never loved you"
with finality, she said.
And like a maniac, I laughed,
She had been fooled or was it I?
Then I gathered myself and wrote a note
'My darling, if you had only spoken
the truth way back in our lives';
I looked around for photographs
of the cat, and took my tooth in my hand -
'We could have avoided so much bother'

And I let her go
to find her place in the world

And I limped back with
a lump in my throat,
No caused by the food,
But by memories of betrayal,
Falsehood and poisoned morsels
Smiling at destiny, intrigued by tears.

======= just-a-ramble =======


Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne




[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-19-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


1 posted 07-19-2000 04:39 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Well, it was a rough relationship for sure. But you got out of it alive. There is always something to be said for that.
Good ramble, at least you put the thirty minute ride to good use.......I enjoyed the tremendous humour of the piece......sorry about your ears....she was'nt related to Tyson was she???
Good fun and good writing!
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


2 posted 07-19-2000 06:10 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Sudhir~
This is wonderful to read, keeps you wanting to reach the end to see what happens.
Very good writings indeed  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


3 posted 07-19-2000 06:20 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Oh man, This is phenomonal work Sudhir

The way you stick with the story throughout makes it believable
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song


4 posted 07-19-2000 06:36 AM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

And I thought I had some bad relationships before.  I guess I should count myself lucky.  Wonderful read and I concur;  You put the tram ride to good use.  
Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


5 posted 07-19-2000 07:07 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Suddy - quite the originalist aren't you? I LOVE your stuff my friend...

(still getting to your poem in English btw...lol)

Good work on this one!

K
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


6 posted 07-19-2000 08:02 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

Sudhir Iyer

wow..not too sure  whether this is a "real" ramble or  imagined, not knowing anyone on here...but I must commend you on surving if truth. This was very heartfelt and "complete".
~~soft hugs
Maureen
MMoonchild
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since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


7 posted 07-19-2000 08:04 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

sorry meant  "surviving"..I have  morning eyes
~~soft smiles
M
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


8 posted 07-19-2000 08:13 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


Sudhir* First you had me smiling with this
piece and then you made me pause and think.
This sounds all to familiar, so much wasted
time on being kind or rather what is thought
to be kind when honesty would make the road
an easier more enjoyable road to follow.  I
enjoyed your ramble very much~
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


9 posted 07-19-2000 09:27 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Wow you people make me feel famous as the Rolling Stones...  

ethome,
the fictional her was not related to Mike Tyson... wow you just gave me an idea for the next caricature... thanks...  

tracie,
I am glad I could keep you "captivated"... thanks...  

Jeffrey,
it is a story, hey friend, do you want to pick on this for a short story or something? I think this can also be a book   ... thanks for joing in, my friend  

Mark,
yes the tram ride is quite helpful at times, usually I and my walkman share the travel time, today he was out of batteries... so I had my muse who decided to take over... LOL Thanks a lot  

Kamla,
I am impressed by my own work now that you find this good... Thanks for letting me feel useful and good... kidding, but  

Maureen,
heartfelt and complete... WOW thats a nice compliment to receive.. appreciate it a lot... bey btw Welcome to Passions... and this is fiction... Thanks for your thoughts.. am all smiles at the "morning eyes" nice metaphor btw... ask Kamla (Severn) she knows all about metaphors  

butterflies...
thats one classic summary of the poem... now I can rest with the view that this has been completely understood...  Thanks a lot  

I mean all facets were picked by the wonderful people around here (there might be more hidden facets though   )

regards to all...


Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


10 posted 07-19-2000 09:34 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Another captivating rambling, by the poet who could be a novelist. Sudhir, when you become a famous writer, can I have an autographed copy of your first book?
Liz
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


11 posted 07-19-2000 09:47 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

How hauntingly romantic, Sudhir, this was so sad.

Kathleen
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


12 posted 07-19-2000 12:31 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Liz,
a budding novelist, eh???
I am just glad that the rambling makes sense...
and yes if I (a little conceited here) have my first book, it will be autographed and sent to you.. or should I make it a personal delivery... Thanks a bunch for your kind appreciation...

Kathleen,
you just captured yet another facet... my sarcastic look at sadness, being intrigued by the tears adn smiling at the same time... i am glad that was not missed... haunting... now thats a bit too much of kindness here...

regards,
sudhir
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


13 posted 07-19-2000 03:46 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ramble on, our rambling man,
whether by tram or train
just make sure the moonbeams
come home with you again...

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


14 posted 07-19-2000 05:10 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Karilea,
With the encouragement that I get here, I will... ramble on... might end up a rambling nut, but then I will have had my fun...  

Thanks a lot  

regards,
sudhir

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


15 posted 07-19-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Sudhir,

You have my thinking my friend.  Seems honesty would be the best policy for all.  I enjoyed your rambling very much!!  Hope I can ramble like that!!!  LOL  

Great writing, my friend.

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


16 posted 07-20-2000 02:54 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Hey Lone Wolf,
Thanks for reading and for your kind words about my rambling... but I am sure that your words are poetic and not just rambles... and definitely better than this writer's words...

regards,
sudhir
linda munday
Member
since 06-17-2000
Posts 326
Adelaide, Australia


17 posted 07-20-2000 03:54 AM       View Profile for linda munday   Email linda munday   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for linda munday

Sudir,
You just replied to my poem The Waterfall, thank you.  They were very encouraging words.

About your poem though... I thought this was excellent!  It carried me through to end easily.

How about the following:
We should all speak the truth, but only with love, otherwise we should keep our mouths shut!  Oh well, it's nice to dream of a perfect world.
Regards returned to you,
Linda M.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


18 posted 07-20-2000 06:03 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Oh Sudhir ... ramble on some more my friend!   I much enjoyed the read, 'twas quite a train ride ... I could feel the emotions come out in this one ... nicely penned!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


19 posted 07-20-2000 08:54 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Linda,
Your words are wise ones... Thanks for reading and for your lovely response...

Kit,
I am on a rambling roll, my friend... thanks to your support, I will ramble on... Thanks again for reading and being there...

Regards,
Sudhir
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


20 posted 07-20-2000 09:42 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

this is wonderful sudhir, it says so much more than just the cliches...really great writing  
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


21 posted 07-20-2000 11:21 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

WOWIE!!

Thanks Corazon  

and regards,
sudhir
Trew
Member
since 06-10-2000
Posts 371
Ottawa, Canada


22 posted 07-20-2000 12:05 PM       View Profile for Trew   Email Trew   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Trew

This 'ramble' makes me exhale a huge sigh of frustration for the situation!  You must have had quite the inspirational tram ride, because this was like the relationship I'm sure everyone has had once.  It goes on too long and then ends in a useless heap!
Tongue firmly planted in cheek!
Great tirade (?) Sudhir, I liked it!
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


23 posted 07-20-2000 09:53 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Sudhir lyer~ Honestly, if this is a ramble, I'd love to see what else you consider a ramble! This is wonderful.   -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB


Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


24 posted 07-24-2000 12:22 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Tongue-in-cheek eh? Trew, I am glad you liked it... Thanks...

SEA,
Thanks for your reading and responding with such a wonderful praise...

regards,
sudhir
 
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