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Open Poetry #8
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2000-07-18 06:50 PM



Miss the times when we were younger
and the love we did invest
and of all the love I kicked around
I thought ours was the best.
But I was never there for you
and it drew us far from close.
I was in sales and telling tales
and drinking patron toasts.
I showed no favor for your choice
and you spent your time alone.
Now you're gone and time moves on
I know I did you wrong.

All the good times I could find
took me far away from you
and left you trapped alone inside
while I was seeking dues.
Now this lonely heart and mind
roam round this empty soul
and the lesson lingers overtime
I'm wishing you were home.

I call you in the early morning
to draw the past to mind.
A brave new me a change complete
I offer to your mind.
You talk to me and my heart flips
I beg you back again.
A concerned woman you see me
and I can't seem to win.
It's plain and simple who's to fault
and your worries shake me off
but you turn heartache into hoping
and I'm glad to hear you talk.

Through all the times you held my name
and stated your case with style
and in the stress you'd address
the absence of my smile
but your hopes grew sadly thin
I destroyed our cause.
I did'nt see your needs then
I sought my own applause.
Your love finally turned to ice
it took a long long time,
now I live with the sacrifice
of pushing you from my mind.

I remember our first home
a simple captured thrill
and our driven dreams where the future gleams
with the needs that al must fill
and the late nights laying back
talking after love
and the fire there thast filled the air
was the flame of all first loves.

Now I've turned to other means
you say your heart won't mend
So I push on into somewhere
and I call you now and then.
But when it's very late at night
and I turn to share your soul
I cry softly to myself
while someone plays your role.
All the good times ruled my mind
and I know I'm still alone
under these scars I need your heart
and I'm wishing you were home.

Celtrue2000@E3B1G9

© Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2000-07-18 06:57 PM


ethone--oh, yes...this is a song!  I can almost hear it.  It is a touching story also, filled with the knowledge of regret and honesty of feeling...I really like it. A vote here.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-07-18 07:42 PM


ETHome~

'Through all the times you held my name
and stated your case with style
and in the stress you'd address
the absence of my smile'

The entire piece is filled with
the honest emotions of a heart
that weeps the regret.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Adrienne
Junior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 20
California
3 posted 2000-07-18 07:51 PM


My goodness, I can't even tell you how this made me feel.  It brought tears to my eyes...
A splendid piece....

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-07-18 11:03 PM


ETHome,

Oh, this one was more than worth the read.  Great writing here!!  You touched my heart with your depth of feeling.  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
5 posted 2000-07-18 11:09 PM



The feelings are raw and honest in this
piece and it hurts to read, to many things I
relate to I guess. This is a great piece you
have my vote and my best wishes for a healed
heart~



[This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 07-18-2000).]

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
6 posted 2000-07-18 11:30 PM


Oh ethome how you touch me with this...it hurts so much to read yet its so very beautiful

never say never

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-07-19 02:14 AM


it took a long long time,
now I live with the sacrifice
of pushing you from my mind.

I remember our first home
a simple captured thrill
and our driven dreams where the future gleams
with the needs that al must fill
and the late nights laying back
talking after love
and the fire there thast filled the air
was the flame of all first loves.

Now I've turned to other means
you say your heart won't mend
So I push on into somewhere
and I call you now and then.
But when it's very late at night
and I turn to share your soul
I cry softly to myself
while someone plays your role.
All the good times ruled my mind
and I know I'm still alone
under these scars I need your heart
and I'm wishing you were home.

========================
oh my sweet poet friend...
your just so darn good at this...
the rhyme is pure poetry
the cadence is melodic and perfect
and the emotions are so touching
in their sincerity and grace..
wonderful writing Ethome...truly
take care
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2000-07-19 05:11 AM


Thank you Martie for thinking of the song angle and the kind words

Marge I always appreciate your comments and yes I tried to be as honest as I could with the piece as a lot of it is true....

Thank you Adrienne for feeling the emotion to the fullest

Thanks Lone Wolf for feeling the depth I was trying so hard to portray

Butterflies_don't_cry for being able to relate..

Paula thank you so much for taking the time to feel this.

Janet I always appreciate your kind words, they are always so upbuilding and straight from the heart.....I try my hardest to make these poetic stories reach the reader.
So thank you so much my dear poet friend.

gem
Junior Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 39

9 posted 2000-07-19 07:35 AM


This is absolutely beautiful! It's tear-jerking stuff. Makes me wonder if there could be anyone in my past who feels that way about me!!
Gem



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-07-19 12:14 PM


What a heartfelt poem, ethome...
lovely and well written...
surely the pangs are felt...
.....
All the good times ruled my mind
and I know I'm still alone
under these scars I need your heart
and I'm wishing you were home.
......

regards,
sudhir

Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
11 posted 2000-07-19 12:22 PM


~I truly adored this poem. It brought tears to my eyes...absolutely brilliant~
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2000-07-19 08:01 PM


Thank you Gem for your kind remarks I'm glad you enjoyed.

Thanks Sudhir I was relating some from the past that's for sure..

Thank you Beth I truly do appreciate your comments

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

13 posted 2000-07-19 08:07 PM


a very moving piece ethome ... it touched me ...
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
14 posted 2000-07-19 09:23 PM


Ethome,
How true this writing is. A story repeated by mistakes so many times. Very well done.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

15 posted 2000-07-20 12:38 PM


As I read this, I could almost hear Harry Chapin singing it. Touching storytelling, my friend.  

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2000-07-20 06:22 PM


This story is so true for many, and is so well told. A sad but captivating story.
Liz

Slim
Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49
Kentucky, USA
17 posted 2000-07-20 07:48 PM


Wow....i dunno what to say, it really got to me. This piece was great. The feeling, the emotion, it truly touched my heart. There are so many things that we regret in life...not loving is a big one, but time brings forgiveness.

^^Slim^^

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
18 posted 2000-07-20 08:16 PM


WOW Ethome!  Absolutely stunning my friend ... beautifully worded, with genuine tenderness and regret. Truly lovely words!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
19 posted 2000-07-20 09:48 PM


Thank you MA Miller glad you stopped in.

Thank you Bill, even mistakes make a story

Thanks for the reference to Harry Chapin Meadowmuse, I feel very complimented by that. I am a Chapin fan and I could only wish to write that well..

Thank you Elizabeth for taking the time to read this partially true sad story.

Thanks Slim for you kind words I'm glad you enjoyed...

It's true Kit there is some real life regrets here that I am writing about. Thanks again for your fine words.

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
20 posted 2000-07-20 09:57 PM


ethome-Wow, this filled my heart with words I can't even describe. Beautifully written style filled with love, mourning, honesty and regret.  I'm sorry you had to reach this point in your life, hugs to you my friend.  It does take a lifetime to heal. I wish you better tomorrow's.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
21 posted 2000-07-22 07:43 PM


Thank you Gemini for your kind comments.
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