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Open Poetry #8
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-07-18 05:50 PM


"I am not the one you know
but the one you seek"
said the prophet
her hair black in flowing braids
to knees
smelling of snuff,
buckskin, and lilacs

"The one you seek
has no face you know
so I wear the one
the face you do know
as a dream of snow reveals
you've kicked the blanket
from your bed."

Dream sun squinting eyes
she turned ancient faced
bronzed and creased
into subtle smile
and folded hands callused
across her lap

"Listen ;"

The secret of Power:

"The river is mighty
because the stream
hears the mountain's will
and knows the sea is thirsty

The ocean is vast
for it drinks
from every river
large and small
from every stream
old and new

The wind is strong
when it accepts the sun
--the sun that birthed
every lust under heaven--
and returns the rivers' tears
to the mountain

The mountain rises to take
the rain from the sky
because it knows it is weary
to carry it so far

And the desert is dry
because it will not stand up
to the wind.

When you understand this
you will understand power

when you understand power
you will know love

and when you know love
you will have
wisdom"

These were the secrets
the prophet spoke


Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2000-07-18 06:34 PM


Wow!  Rebel---this is amazing!  Great imagery and powerful message...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-07-18 06:39 PM


OH MAN...
this is the COOLEST POEM!!!!!
it is SO AWESOME...
the imagery
the wisdom
the grace of it..
ALL of it...every line
and the "secret of the power" is amazing writing
simply superb work here
why isn't this beauty marked for book submit...
this one goes in my file
thank you
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2000-07-18 06:55 PM


ummm.... Wow!!! this is awesome....
LR-
as always, you have a way of weaving truth through choice words which sing together in a most vivid intricacy....

could you tell i LIKE it?

i need to read this one through several times... i could use a little power & wisdom
*smile*



Whatever you do, don't bring Yoko to band practice.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-07-18 10:41 PM


Local Rebel ~
I like how you've employed the image of the  prophet to express the power of and reverence toward Nature. Lovely.



Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
5 posted 2000-07-18 11:17 PM


You blow me away with this one!!!!!!  Excellent writing!!

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-07-18 11:29 PM


This is Awesome work!!! The weave of this tale was a work of art!! Great writing~
beowulf_26
Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 183

7 posted 2000-07-19 12:46 PM


Ominous.  almost biblical.  Great tone.

Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
8 posted 2000-07-19 10:28 AM


Many thanks to each of you for the read and kind comments.  This is somewhat a departure from my previous styles and I wasn't really sure how it would be to write it or read it.  Thanks again
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-07-19 10:56 AM


lol was just gonna comment on your diversity, this is different for you, but I love it...its got an acceptance in it...not sure how to say that, but reading it makes you feel at peace.....nice work  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
10 posted 2000-07-19 05:24 PM


ah... yes peace.... the final quatrain... but I didn't write that one.. nice that you picked up on it Corazon... thanks
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-07-19 05:48 PM


WOW, a stunning piece. excellently written < !signature-->

the plot of our life sweats in the dark like a face the mystery of childbirth, of childhood itself grave visitations
what is it that calls to us?" patti smith


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-19-2000).]

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
12 posted 2000-07-20 08:19 AM


It's good to read you again sweetheart...

HUSG

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
13 posted 2000-07-20 12:01 PM


Cindy!!!!!  Hey you!!  Thanks....  nice to be read....  

Thanks also to you Brian...

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

14 posted 2000-07-20 06:20 PM


yep printed this, and read again yesterday before I left...love this, the thoughts the images leave you with are incredible...
the ocean...
the wind...
the mountains...
the desert...
the power...
only one thing left to say
WOW!

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
15 posted 2000-07-20 07:48 PM


Shall we catch up?  Around 6pm my time tomorrow evening?

HUSG

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
16 posted 2000-07-20 08:00 PM


Rebel~
This is an inticately awesome piece of work.
It would seem that an ancient one has visited within you.

I am cherishing these thoughts.

PLEASE consider SUBMITTING it for the BOOK.
How one might ask ?... well you just click on your EDIT icon ... and right below your
User Name and Password is a box that says -
says ... Would you like to have this poem considered for submission to the BOOK ?
Just check it and submit !
We can vote on it !

It certainly would make a nice presentation of your work to be considered for the Voices on the Web book.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
17 posted 2000-07-21 09:40 AM


Thanks Marge and Corazon... I will consider... I promise.

Cindy... mail me..!

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
18 posted 2000-07-21 10:26 AM


Yes Sir, just did Sir...

HUSG

Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
19 posted 2000-07-21 10:49 AM


Holy crow, that was fantastic!
Some sort of divine intervention on this one?
I am simply amazed by the description of life's cycle.  You couldn't have found better wording or better images.
Excellent!

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
20 posted 2000-07-21 11:23 AM


LR

I have missed seeing your work around!  Oh but ahhh, to read it again is delightful.  Although this seems a departure from your 'usual' style, it is no less enjoyed...rather, enjoyed that much more.


N.

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