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Open Poetry #8
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Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2000-07-17 12:31 PM


An eternity of time
no reason, no rhyme
Endless days and nights
no hope in sight
alone within myself

My heart
as hard as rock
My mind
would mock
build those walls
don't listen to the calls
alone within myself

Then one day
I heard him softly say
unlock the door
let your heart soar
alone within myself

The voice so soft
coming from high aloft
the rock that was my heart
gave a start
alone within myself

My soul inside
seemed to cry out
you are strong
you can cope
there is hope
alone within myself

Draw deeply,
from your inner beauty
you have so much to give
and know how to live
alone within myself

Then I understood
I knew that I could
love with passion deep
never again to be
alone within myself



© Copyright 2000 Maria McDiarmid - All Rights Reserved
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

1 posted 2000-07-17 12:46 PM


Impassionata

beautiful use of the repeating phrase ... nice work ...

Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada
2 posted 2000-07-17 01:16 AM


Thank you MA for reading my poem...I know absolutly nothing about required elements of poetry..I can only say I write what my heart feels...Thank you again for you kind words


ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

3 posted 2000-07-17 01:20 AM


i don't either ... i write the same way ... i'll just assume that by calling it the "repeating phrase", you knew what i was referring to ...

someone responded to one of my pieces a couple of days ago and suggested that i use a "sestina" approach to the piece ... i still don't know what that is, except it has something to do with 6's?

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.M.



Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
4 posted 2000-07-17 01:22 AM


~I love this...Writting from the heart is always the best way and you have done it beautifully..Great Job~
Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada
5 posted 2000-07-17 01:23 AM


he he he...yes MA I did understand what you meant by "repeating phrase"..lol...I guess this is the site at which we can learn...and I am eager to learn lots and lots...alas I don't have much time to spend here.


Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada
6 posted 2000-07-17 01:26 AM


Thank you so much Beth....this means alot to me.



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-07-17 01:46 AM


Impassionata~
Welcome to Passion's group of friends and poets.

I enjoyed this piece -
It is promising of uplifting hope and
that is always a good thing.

I like the idea of 'breaking free'
to discover how we can fly from within
the confines of ourselves.

Enjoy your stay with us.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada
8 posted 2000-07-17 01:50 AM


Thank you Marge for reading my poem....I wrote this a few years ago when I was suffering from many tragic losses and I finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.....Thank you for your kind words
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-07-18 10:20 PM


This is very beautiful, Impassionata and full of wisdom!

Denise

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
10 posted 2000-07-18 10:27 PM



WOW.....this is like a mirror of my soul,
our circumstances may be totally different
but from where I'm reading this hits my heart
like a brick.  You captured the feelings
so well and lit the tunnel at the end with
the rays of hope~  Beautiful work!

Impassionata
Junior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 26
Alberta,Canada
11 posted 2000-07-19 10:12 PM


Denise....Thank you so much for your kind words...I don't know if there is much wisdom in my poem but it reflects what had to change in my life to make me understand how beautiful life can be...Thanks again


Butterflies...Your comment means alot to me because it lets me know that I am not alone withing myself.  



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