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Open Poetry #8
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The Runner(2nd attempt at rhyming)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The Runner(2nd attempt at rhyming) |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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Scrambling to run away Hoping that this will make my day Yet I feel not the least gay Is this the price I must pay? My tormented soul laid bare Too much guilt, too many cares Joy and peace are visitors rare In life I am at a loss as to how to fare Depressed cowardice clouds my heart Towards enlightenment I try to dart With my dubious past I try to part Hurling it all over the cliffs with a cart Why do I run when everyone else is having fun and no one is in pursuit? Yet, like tremendous tidal waves, my past misdeeds hurl themselves on me, threatening to suffocate me with a shroud on their forceful arms I keep running |
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| © Copyright 2000 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Quite nice actually ... the transition away from rhyme blends well  perhaps you only run from yourself |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
see its not so hard  pretty soon you'll talk rhymes in your sleep  very good Kaile, and thats one powerful last verse...whew. jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
Kaile, Your rhymes are music to my ears! Keep up the great work! Dennis :^) Moonbeams radiate When the veiling cloud has past Playful shadows dance Dennis L. White :^) |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
I agree with Rex, nice transition. We're all running from something. Loved it. .*.*.*.Kay.*.*.*. "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
I am one to whom rhyming and meter comes naturally...so I am in awe of those who can write freeform as your last verse ...and am working on improving that myself..I enjoyed your mixture ~~softsmiles Maureen |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
thanx everyone for your fine encouragement and support..i will definitely try to write more rhyming poems in future... perhaps the next step for me is a whole rhyming poem without any free-verse |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
kaile...i commend you for trying what doesnt come natural...I cant rhyme either... the feew times i have tried felt so out of my league I just stick to free verse. this is great |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Kaile~ With ease you sail through the rhyme Looking forward to the next time On your mark get set ... rhyme ! Love ya' Delightful seeing you spread your poetic wings. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Paula, i well understand what you are saying....rhyiming is something that doesnt come easily to me but then I saw the many delightful rhyming poems here and thought i would just try my hand at something different Marge, well i wouldnt put it as far as stretching my poetic wings(LOL) but im glad you like this experimental poem |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
oops,didnt mean to do that! [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 07-16-2000).] |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
A great poem! Good rhymes too... hehe..._,,,^.^,,,_ |
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