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Untitled (I Need Help With A Title)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Untitled (I Need Help With A Title) |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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This poem is about the seriousness of eating disorders and how a woman's mind can be haunted by it, struggling to fight it. It may seem to be too graphic or blunt, but, I felt that it had to be this way to show how devastating it really is. Also, can anyone give me a suggestion for a title?  ~UNTITLED~ Little girl of eight celebrates her birthday, with triple fudge cake and creamy chocolate frosting, content in her childhood and in her baby fat Young girl of twelve attends her best friends sleepover eating pepperoni and extra cheese pizza, content in her youth and in her changing body Teenager of fourteen has a crush on a boy, he teases her and calls her fatty his way of letting her know that he likes her too, she stares into the mirror and cries and cries comparing herself to sex goddesses on the television on billboards and in fashion magazines, where it is dangerously easy to develop an eating disorder, she is now confused about her teen years, developing a hatred for her own body, desiring to fill the shoes of a thin, desirable, glamourous supermodel Young woman of seventeen, saves her money in a glass jar for cosmetic surgery one day, starves herself to the point where her ribs are breaking through her flesh and vomits her dreams away, wishing to escape her tortured mind, longing to shed her skin, she has lost 37 pounds in a month's time, she is weak and sickly pale, her hair becomes brittle and starts to fall out, migraines pound in her brain, her teeth start to yellow, and she now suffers from fainting spells, the sacrifice to become beautiful and thin, where having a fatal disease or being fat takes on the same life and death proportions, but, when she gazes into her distorted mirror she still sees fatty staring back She keeps her mind occupied so as to not think about food and it's satisfying taste, the way it seems to make everything seem alright, the way it makes every feeling of pain vanish away, replacing it with the happiness of it's flavour, even if just for a few moments, but, when willpower looses the battle against hunger, she is led to the refrigerator door or to a 7-11 that is open 24 hours a day, devouring fast food, any and all types of food in large quantities, it rejoices in her stomach, filling the void, coating the pain temporarily, the black hole that lives within, overly satisfying her soul, her mind, and her stomach but, afterwards, chants of "fatty" haunt her mind, she races to the toilet and releases the enemy with her fingers scratching at the back of her throat, a bittersweet laugh leaves her mouth, thinking that she has once again defied nature, the best of both worlds, eating to her heart's content and still shedding pounds Still, an emptiness remains, longing to find a sense of peace she longs to love herself, only to be denied, a neverending cycle of broken dreams, crushed desires, and meaningless wants, a relentless hunger that screams in her mind and in her stomach, this endless need to feed the pain through the path of her mouth, in disguise this gateway to heaven, a false happiness, which is really the road to hell, a woman now, trapped, with her mind replaying the words fatty...fatty...fatty over and over again, she starves herself for months then overeats and vomits her way to a heart attack and dies in the arms of anorexia and bulimia *By Melissa Honeybee* The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 07-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very, very well done, Melissa. How about "Dying to Eat and Vice Versa"? |
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Michael G Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579Nashville |
I'm not sure about a title, but I give you credit for the description. It provided me with thoughts of a friend who passed from this. The only thing that came to mind was "Cycles End" |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Melissa, A battle definately, but it is from within. Perhaps the name, "A Battle From Within" is appropriate. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Melissa I read over this kind of quick cause I gotta go to work...I do think it is impressive writing...how about "In harms way" or "Trapped". I like all the other suggestions already given. James |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Melissa this hurts to read...how abt..."Reflections of a Lie"...I have battled my weight all my life, never to this point fortunately. I am finally where I want to be and the funny thing is...I was just as pretty then as I am now. The things women do to look good for a man...well not just a man...to try to be that reflection they see, its sad and doesnt say much for the ideals of society. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
May I Take Your Disorder Please?? A very serious subject indeed... I have a friend who now weighs less than 90lbs....tragic...so sad when it happens Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
the way you used "fatty" over and over really gave the distinct impression of being haunted. how about that fora title? haunted. very visual and emotional. it makes me think twice about the people i've teased. i know that i am light-hearted, but i see that not everyone is so blessed. i'll be watching what rolls off my tongue now. thanks for postin. We all got our demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent Melissa. . . You speak superbly on this subject. . .you really show what it can do to young women. . . I only hope that maybe someone out there has seen this and taken it to heart. . . A title?? Hmmmmmmmmm. . . I like the one that Ethan suggested. . . will really make people think about what they say to other people. . . ------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I really like Balladeer's suggestion. This was graphic not untrue. If it catches one person's attention.....touches one life...then it's done it's job.....my thought is that it will touch many more than one. It IS time to pull our heads out of the sand.....Your talent is amazing for capturing the pain and the cycle so well~ |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you so much everyone for the great replies and for the suggestions for a title, I really appreciate it. All of the titles are very powerful and it's going to be difficult for me to finally make a choice, but thank you for taking the time out to help me with a title.Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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notlikely2 Member
since 2000-06-16
Posts 308UK |
Very well written Mellisa. How about; As a matter of Fat or Murdered by her teenage Sweetheart |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Melissa - whew! This is a really upsetting poem - very well done, and definitiely sobering. My suggestion for a title? Chanting |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Notlikey2 and Long John thank you for reading my poem, and I do love your suggestions for a title! Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This is a real upsetting poem. You have done wonders in bringing this to light and I am saddened to think of all the ones going through this. As for the title, how about: Death By Purging Or I also like Balladeers suggestion. Take care my friend. |
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