»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #8
»
I am probably the one to blame...
| Open Poetry #8 |
|
I am probably the one to blame... |
|
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
|
Quite late it seemed, very late in the eve Looked at the wall and watched the clock 'twas late alright, midnight, time to leave At One, the last boat would leave the docks. I dived into a sad nameless street, And glanced upon a girl, in grief Curious me, I bowed down to greet, 'twas already late, had to be brief. In straight careful words I spoke, "My lady, what sorrow ails you?" "Could of some help be this bloke?" She looked up, a sad face came to view. She looked down, started crying again, In agony, she grieved further still, Clueless, I waited her breath to regain, As tears kept falling, a puddle to fill. Looking down, she mumbled a few troubled words, In a language so foreign, must've been French, Whatever she told, never understood the words, But felt pain in the sounds, my heart wrenched. Then she ran, ran away into the distant dark A happy evening had turned into a mournful night, As I continued my walk to the port lit in stark, I wondered what had defeated her in her fight. Maybe it was a lover's cruel despise, Or maybe she had just lost her pet dog, Maybe it was a loved one's sad demise, Or maybe she just felt small as a frog. As I continued my lonely walk to the dock, My mind befriended by serious thoughts I tried to fathom the source of her shock, Between For and Against, a war being fought. A battle where no thought could be a winner, But then what war fought has brought out one! Not knowing the language, maybe I was the sinner All the more reason to find clear reason none. One thought said maybe its good she cried, Atleast her heart, of tears' weight, had not died, But another one said, a grave crime you did commit Didn't stop her cries, let her run away with it One O' Clock in the morn, the boat finally came, Hailed it, got in a dark corner, and started to cry, For no rhyme nor reason, I gave myself the blame, A ray of light, I'd failed to offer, let hope die. ~ < !signature--> Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-12-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
How could you let her get away, Sudhir? ... Good story line and well composed ... My two favorite passages: I dived into a sad nameless street, And glanced upon a girl, in grief Curious me, I bowed down to greet, 'twas already late, had to be brief. and ... As I continued my lonely walk to the dock, My mind befriended by serious thoughts I tried to fathom the source of her shock, Between For and Against, a war being fought. |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sudhir I enjoyed reading this and I know where they got the term gentleman...of course you know you were not to blame...you were a soft hearted observer that reached out to a hurt soul that wanted to linger in their pain perhaps a little longer...James |
||
|
Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Sudhir..... This was a great read!! I loved the story, and felt the sorrow..... Life is but a dream... so sleep easy... |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh Sudhir, such as is hindsight, begging our grief to tears... Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Sudhir, a beautifully composed tale. Yes there are often times when we regret not acting. an excellent poem, smooth rhyme and caring emotions. "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers. |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Well done Sudhir! She cast a picture in your mind ... and you then painted this wonderful story so vividly with your words. Lovely tale! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sudhir....you are certainly the one to blame....for writing an excellent tale!  |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
MA Miller, Thanks for reading and for sharing what parts you liked most... It means a lot... James, Now you are being the supreme gentleman... thanks for your heartfelt response Sunny1, Thanks, aI am glad that you liked the story and felt with the poem... Karilea, now don't you cry.... thanks again for your words, though... brian, Thanks for the ever present support.. I just don't know how to thank you enough... Kit, what a lovely response... feels so much more appreciated... thanks Balladeer, coming from your 'the excellent tale' is an honour indeed... thanks regards to all, sudhir. |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Sigh -- "For no rhyme nor reason, I gave myself the blame, A ray of light, I'd failed to offer, let hope die." Excellent poem, Sudhir, especially loved that final stanza... Michael |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks a great deal Michael... To gain words of appreciation from you is an honour indeed! regards, sudhir |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sudhir lyer~ Yes, the ending is my favorite part...... I know this, I feel like I have to make things right for everyone "fix it" somehow....even when I can't. Loved this poem! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is beautiful, Sudhir--you've touched me greatly with this...sigh, sigh, sigh... |
||
|
Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
This is a great poem, Sudhir. A dark feel throughout and what an ending! |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Sudhir - Take heart. If she truly was speaking French, perhaps she had a right to cry! lol Great poem, my friend - now... does your wife know you are out late at night consoling women?!!! I declare, Balladeer is rubbing of on you in more ways that one! |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Sudhir-As I had said in my tribute to "PASSIONS" you wish to take the world's problems and nurture them all. Well, written my friend. I'll bet she has memories of a kind stranger trying to communicate and take her pain away. Lovely piece my friend. |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
SEA, I am so pleased that you enjoyed reading this poem...Thanks for reading and sharing your feeling... serenity, Thanks for disclosing that... happy to have touched your seart... Trew, thanks for reading and for your kind words... LngJhnAg Thanks for reading... by the way, I am single, so no wife worries  ... and what rubbing are suggesting any way??? I am curious ... hehe  Mark, Thanks for everything, the tribute, these words et al.... regards to all, sudhir |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
