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Open Poetry #8
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Two Rows Down on the Left
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Two Rows Down on the Left |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon 
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a transient plume of acrid coal smoke drifted down to her travel worn senses and hung there, invading her very soul she was so weary, so beat down and the journey only half-begun gathering her bags together, she stepped up into the dim-lit railway car and made her way to a plush seat and settled in for a long ride as she pulled forth from her threadbare clutch a slim leather journal and a pen as her hand begun to move with the rhythm of the train writing line after line unaware of the close scrutiny of a nearby passenger two rows down on the left he sat watching her the pained frown on her brow slowly sliding into a wistful look as she penned something (probably a love letter he thought) oh how he longed to read what she wrote just to see what had made her sorrow-worn eyes turn up in a small crinkled smile the conductor gathered the tickets up but he hesitated when he came to the girl seeing her so absorbed in her writing touching her shoulder....Miss? startled she looked up and barely smiled quickly closing her secrets safely away inside the journal's leather confine Yes? Your ticket? Oh, oh yes.... she rummaged through her bags then her pockets and then remembering she opened the hastily closed journal and extracted a battered ticket tucking the half-stub back into its place she bent to write again the strands of her hair loosening from its constraint fell across her face as he sat two rows down on the left watching the scene unfold enraptured by her beauty drawn in by her simplicity and drowning in his need to be the one to make her smile as mile after mile slipped by in a monotony of railway noise she never looked up from her writing as page after page turned til he wondered if her pen or her emotion would run dry first the train had pulled to a stop at a tiny village when he finally mustered up his nerve to speak to her he placed his coat and hat in an overhead cache and moved to stand but when he looked to her seat two rows up and to the right she was gone! approaching her seat, cautiously he spied a scrap of paper on the floor and bent to read it Emma Thurston Treadway House, Red Hi and then the writing was lost in a smear tucking it safely away near his heart he determined to find her coûte que coûte no matter the cost "Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything." --William Shakespeare |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
X Angel - WOW,what an incredible piece. I felt as though I were on that train watching the whole scene unfold. This is wonderful. Bonnie  Patiently waiting for the sequel!!! |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Wow ... fantastic reading ... I'll be back ... keep that pen flowing  Rex |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a wonderful flavor this has....I could read pages and pages of this style of writing.....so get busy!!!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I'm with Balladeer--this feels like I want more ...it would definately make a great short story. I like it!!!! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
XAngel~ Okay gal ... waiting at the train station for the next chapter to come rolling through. LOVED IT ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
And by the way ..... you never did tell us how our Passion A`La Espresso poetry board was faring ! Inquisitive poets WANT TO KNOW ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is fantastic, Heather! Smooth, easy and thoroughly enjoyable reading! Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Heather! The flow was marvelous! I was reading so fast, I was like a trainwreck when I hit the end ... I wanted more too Excellent writing ... I still have the images in my mind's eye!Best wishes, /Kit |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Thank you so much guys this poem was one of those that just wrote itself!And Marge....I have MAJOR news about the poetry board....I am moving my business to a bigger, better, more beautiful location in a BUSIER town.....so the poetry board is on hold til 1 Aug...then poof....I have 14' ceilings and all the room for poems I can possibly want! I even plan on painting some excerpts of poems (with the author's permission of course) on the walls... (I am a happy, happy girl!) Oh and next time you see Nan ask her about Serendipity Coffee *wink* *hugs2all* ~H |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Angel - Yes - you may paint pretty pictures of my poems about kitty cats - 11... my shoe size...be sure you paint the right size shoe when you draw my kittites on your wall - lol Incidently - I was very disappointed by your poem - it ended way too soon - did he find Emma? Where did she go? Yanno, this little writing trick of yours was kinda mean - lol. I loved every line - I was sitting on that train seeing every detail. This is a wonderful poem. One last thing, Angel - On July 29, Lorelei and I will be driving up the Oregon coast starting from west of Grants pass on our way back to Portland and our flight home the next day. If you could recommend an antique and oddities shop that we might visit, it would be a pleasure to drop in. All I gotta do is secretly abscound with all of lil Lorelei's credit cards first - lol. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-06-2000).] |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
rofl Long John ya scoundrel! I know this cute lil town, with a cute lil shop (well more than one....but I'm prejudiced), great wineries, great Italian food, great coffee, beautiful scenery. Oh my....could it be? MY TOWN???? *wink* email me eh LJ? angel@eclecticthings.net I'd LOVE to have ya stop by...we are basically on your way back to Portland...  (dancing a happy dance around my shop..ohh *drat* the china!!!! *crunch*) Btw...about the poem....I like cliffhangers...I want ya to ache to know what happened to them...oh and..he may never find her LOL *<8oP~* ~Heather |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Must agree with the others, this was enjoyable to read. dh A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
How mysteriously beautiful and beautifully mysterious I absolutely love this work of verbal art.*hugs* Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
X-Angel I read this the other day and I wanted to come back and read it again cause I enjoyed it so much. You know the feeling you get when you find the right book to read and you don't want to put it down...this poem was just the right touch...thanks...James |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
The greatest train journey I have ever taken. Wow, This deserves over than the one read I can give it tonight, filed in my library for a later date until I get my breath back. AN amazing piece, and a wonderful journey. THank you. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Ohh you guys are so wonderful with your replies! Thank you so much for reading this and then replying...it means alot to me to know that my poetry can touch people's hearts. ~Heather [This message has been edited by X Angel (edited 07-08-2000).] |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Brilliant!! Now get the second part out before I go mad with suspense!!!!! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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