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Open Poetry #8
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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-07-05 03:02 PM


The Night the Sky Erupted

Can we open that night again
when the moon curved around its shadow
and the air hummed
when I leaned against you
into your arms weight
as you crept your hand around
then cupped my waiting
as we watched the night explode
across the western sky

you whispered something into my ear
and it didn’t matter what
for your breath was like fire
and I could feel it too
cascading chartreuse ribbons
as whistling energy erupted into coins
that melted behind the palm trees
and turned to sand along the beach
that waited in the horizon

and I could see the musk and sultry strands
of my life fizzle and turn to wishes
as the moon burned in the ocean
cooled your scarlet eyes
in the blue of them I fell
and you just smiled
as your hand held the sky against my cheek

and I wondered then if all this searching
had led to this conclusion
for the sand was warm and held in my passion
but if I moved just so against you
I would be for one minute   complete

and then the sky erupted.




[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
1 posted 2000-07-05 03:07 PM


Wow!  That was a great poem.     I love the night sky.  Great Job!

"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
Eden Phillpotts
*Cassandra Roseen*

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-07-05 04:19 PM


OH MAN!!!!!!
Have Mercy on me Martie-girl ...
whew!!!
lordy lordy...
talk about imagery
talk about sensual poetry
talk about depth of emotion
talk about MY POET ENVY OF THIS ONE...
oh man...my muse may never come back after this jewel ...
SUPERB MY DEAR...SUPERB

the only thing left to say is...SUBMIT!!!!!
excuse me now...I need to go lie down...
later-amaze-me-again-gator
jm

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
3 posted 2000-07-05 04:59 PM


Florentines
of a dear caring heart decorative
evocation of fine yet unique combinations
of natures natural art all over lapping in poetic
literary art intricately woven into exquisite
tapestries with accompanying
laced litany and
reflections
in prose not to
mention the most beautiful
peace I’ve seen.

Sorry I
haven't gotten
a letter off to you yet
I'll have to drink another
cup of tea wake up think
what I want to send.

Love and prayers,
(lucky) Dale


AndrewDL
Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 24
California
4 posted 2000-07-05 05:06 PM



The imagery in this poem was excellent. A photograph couldn't have done much better than this. Beautiful work.


-Andrew
Trust too much, and you may be deceived, but trust too little and you will live in torment forever.


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
5 posted 2000-07-05 05:21 PM


you whispered something into my ear
and it didn’t matter what
for your breath was like fire
and I could feel it too
cascading chartreuse ribbons
as whistling energy erupted into coins
that melted behind the palm trees
and turned to sand along the beach
that waited in the horizon

and I could see the musk and sultry strands
of my life fizzle and turn to wishes
as the moon burned in the ocean
cooled your scarlet eyes
in the blue of them I fell
and you just smiled
as your hand held the sky against my cheek

wow that was beautiful, my screen is ablaze with passion tenderness and beauty. What a show.

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-07-05 07:46 PM


Cassandra--I love it too...it can be inspirational.

Janet-- you just blow we away with your comment, sweet lady...thank you, now get up girl and boogie.

Hi Dale--sure would like a nice long letter about all that thining you did while in the mountains...I know there is a river there and many trees...waiting patiently...Hugs!

Andrew--they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so you pay me a great compliment.

brian--so happy that I made your screen blaze...I don't think I've ever done that before.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-07-05 08:17 PM


Martie~
My god - what sensual pleasure.
Seems someone remembers the first
time the fireworks went off, huh ?

I find that it is one of your BEST -
so just submit the damn thing ! !  

Doesn't get any more perfect than this.
It's a BIGGIE !  
~*Marge*~
< !signature-->

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com             




[This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 07-05-2000).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-07-05 08:43 PM


Martie....anything that cupped your waiting would explode!!!  

Seriously, Martie, this is so perfect...which doesn't surprise me at all coming from you. Beautiful writing.....


VOTED!!!!

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 07-05-2000).]

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2000-07-05 08:46 PM


Absolutely stunning Martie!  The imagery, the flow, the sentiments ... an incredibly wonderful poem you've penned, I just loved this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-07-05 08:47 PM


She takes instructions so well !

Guess what I'm doing here ?????
YES !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2000-07-05 08:47 PM


Oops ...missed the book logo ... ignore me while I click  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2000-07-05 09:51 PM


ooooohhh I just love getting my way..
i knew you couldnt resist me AND Margie..
and how often do ya get two poets in one day asking you to "submit"   LOL

seems like after reading this poem..you already did some "submittin" LOL  
LOL at Balladeer...hes doing some "cupping" of his own...

OK Im done being obnoxious for now  
thanks for letting me worship this amazing
poem twice in one day
later-firecracker-gator
jm

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 2000-07-05 10:36 PM


Whew! Beautiful beyond words!  

Denise

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
14 posted 2000-07-05 10:46 PM


Phew! The warm fuzzies!  Martie, this is beyond describable words! This was WOW! Beautiful in every sense of the word!
You brought such a deep, peaceful sigh to me! Ahhhh!

[This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 07-05-2000).]

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
15 posted 2000-07-05 11:48 PM


"cascading chartreuse ribbons
as whistling energy erupted into coins
that melted behind the palm trees" --WOW Martie, only you could create such a unique and stunning image as this.  Deep, loving, and sensual words here.  I'm suffering poet's envy along with you JM!  and I'm voting too! (click!)


*Krista Knutson*

"We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2000-07-05 11:59 PM


Marge--What am I going to do with you girlfriend, between you and Janet Marie...I guess I'll just enjoy having you as friends...that's what I'll do!

Balladeer--LOL on the explode, but seriously, thank you for your always possitive comments..you're the best!

Kit--Thank you so much for the stunning...I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!

Kit, Marge, Janet...thank you for coming back and voting, smiles to you from me, big time!

Denise--I think you found the words...thanks!

Whtdove--thank you for such an enthusiastic reply...made me smile.

Krista--I am the one that admires you...thanks so much for the vote!

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
17 posted 2000-07-06 01:31 AM


Oh, Martie, man, oh, man, this poem is incredible!  I think it is the most sensual poem I've ever read - unbelievable imagery - and I've been many years attempting to write sensual poetry - impossible, so far, to describe the images and feelings inside.  You did extremely well.  I don't think anyone could do better!

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
18 posted 2000-07-06 12:51 PM


Martie, The sky exploded with this extaordinary poem, as only you could do it
Great work, Martie. Some of your est
Liz

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
19 posted 2000-07-06 01:13 PM


Martie - you lil devil, you.  This is a great description of a terrific moment - man - you are really really sensual beneathe your mask of innocence - this is a wonderful poem - you are such a lil devil, you.
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
20 posted 2000-07-06 01:18 PM


Can't believe I missed this one.  Such power and feeling has never been painted on canvas with the way you paint with your words.  Simply excellent.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
21 posted 2000-07-06 01:34 PM


Now that's what I call a poem!

Corinne

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2000-07-06 07:52 PM


Rosemary--This is a wonderful compliment...I consider your poetry some of the best.  I was waiting for a phone call and wrote this to kill time...started out to be about the fireworks display the night before...but I just got carried away with a metaphor.

Thank you for reading this, Liz...I'm glad that you liked it.  Hugs!

Lng jhn---I'm an angel not a devil...but I think you were giving me a compliment...so thanks!

Mark--a great compliment for someone who considers poetry-- art.

Corinne--I'm glad you liked it...thank you!

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

23 posted 2000-07-07 07:31 AM


Beautifully written Martie.  You know what I think of your poetry and this is without question one of your finest.  Exceptional poem.
X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
24 posted 2000-07-07 01:22 PM


Beautiful writing, I was there!!!!
I could FEEL the night sky wanting to explode any second!
*whew*
good'un girlie
~Heather

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
25 posted 2000-07-07 03:45 PM


Sorry, forgot to vote.

love it still... Dale

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2000-07-16 11:13 PM


Mike--Thank you for reading it and for your wonderful words.

Heather--I'm glad you could see this...thank you for reading and such lovely comments

lucky--thanks for coming back to vote!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
27 posted 2000-07-16 11:24 PM


Wonderful use of highly imaginative word pictures. I travelled there on the wings of the words. Absolutely great!
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
28 posted 2000-10-07 03:02 AM


How many Martie poems have I already read?
and loved? and sung the praises of?
and how many pale in comparison to this one?
All of them!!!!!!!!! ILY

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