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Open Poetry #8
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kaile
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singapore

0 posted 2000-07-01 01:02 PM


salty tears falling on me
falling salty tears
on falling me
on me falling
salty tears falling
on falling
me salty
tears me salty
falling on me
on me falling
tears falling salty
on tears me
salty falling
tears falling me
tears on me
me falling on
salty tears me
me falling on tears

salty
    tears
      falling
            on
             me

© Copyright 2000 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2000-07-01 02:00 PM


Kaile~ this is neat!   -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB



ESP
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since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
2 posted 2000-07-01 02:05 PM


Cool, Kaile!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

brian madden
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since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-07-01 02:59 PM


Really enjoyed it,  

happy smiles from your poem.
smiles from your poem happy.
happy from your poem smiles.

ok my attempt sucked. lol

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

kaile
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4 posted 2000-07-01 08:08 PM


thank you SEA,ESP and Brian for liking this but if i may ask, whats exactly an abstract poem?how do you write one?what are the rules?LOL i didnt really know how to write but i modelled this poem after Sven's attempt and i do hope i did this right

pls enlighten moi

Jeremiah Johnson
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since 2000-06-08
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Brooksville, Fl, U.S
5 posted 2000-07-01 11:54 PM


well i'm not sure the rules. but it looks like one to me. thanks for trying this out so share with us. and look for some of my poems i'm trying new stuff out also.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Sven
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6 posted 2000-07-02 02:25 AM


Excellent kaile!!

You did very well with this one. . . the idea behind an abstract is that the SOUND of the words matters more than the meaning. . . you have showed that very well here. . .

Try reading this one aloud. . .you'll see what I mean!!!

Superb!

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl



kaile
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7 posted 2000-07-02 07:50 PM


uplifting words of praise
praise uplifting words
words of uplifting
of uplifting praise
praise of uplifting
of words praise
uplifting of
praise words
of praise uplifting
words of praise

uplifting
       words
           of
             praise


thanx Jeremiah and Sven for reading...so relieved i have done this right

Denise
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8 posted 2000-07-02 09:18 PM


Very good, Kaile! I enjoyed this!

Denise

Mon Cherie
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9 posted 2001-12-05 05:49 PM


Oh... this seems really interesting!!  
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