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Passions in Poetry

in the belly of the whale

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Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


0 posted 06-27-2000 12:59 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corazon

did a whale swallow you
whole
and your name is really jonah
and I just didnít know
and will you be back from
the belly of the place that took
you from me
in three days?
cause if that is all
that I can easily do
three days waiting
is a piece of cake
it is this not knowing
that is killing me
not knowing if you are
lost and floating
needing a lifesaver
not knowing if you lay
on some deserted beach
waiting for mouth
to mouth
resuscitation?
oh, please, let me...
three days and more
gladly
I would wait
if only I knew...




[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-28-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


1 posted 06-27-2000 01:05 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

i don't know, if you are mocking the whale bit or are you mocking yourself for waiting three days believing in the whale of a story.... or am i just being a crank...

gosh, this sparkled a bit grey matter here...

regards, sudhir

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


2 posted 06-27-2000 01:13 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

no, no mocking meant here, just lost and floundering myself, missing a friend that seems to have disappeared
...hope I didn't offend

[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-27-2000).]
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


3 posted 06-28-2000 10:52 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

no not at all...

seemed interesting actually, how come I never conjure up something like this... how come I always end up with straight poems that rhyme and all that.. why is free verse not coming naturally to me...it should be natural should it not???

well, Corazon, thanks to help me out with this one....

Regards, sudhir.

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


4 posted 06-28-2000 12:44 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

maybe it is a bit of everything, my life is so mixed up, my thoughts so random that free style is the only poetry that comes to me, I just can't write structure and rhyme, (to me) you seem more in control, more thought filled, and your poetry shows the care that you put into it, my poetry creates itself and spills onto the page...lately that has been showing too...have been floundering in my poetry too...appreciate your comments  

so you think the original title was ok, or is this one better? I changed it after your comments, as I had not even thought of it being offensive...but certainly didn't want to be

[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-28-2000).]
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


5 posted 06-28-2000 12:50 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

I understand this piece so very well, the not
knowing is the hardest...anything else I can
handle but dealing with the unkown is the
worst. I see I'm not alone in this feeling.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


6 posted 02-20-2005 12:45 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

where are ya?
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