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Open Poetry #8
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Rolling Rock
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Rolling Rock |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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To be realizing fear That someone not so near Has taken something And rolled with it And It's Rolling Down the Hill Collecting Snow and dirt And sadly someone must get hurt H o w it To roll the rock back up the hill i To stop the hunter from its kill s impossible The blood, I cannot stanch Fallen the from avalanche The end of my wits start to taper The is wrapped in * lit * r*rock*m e u pap s And my sword can't cut through For the rock, first blood it drew [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 06-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Interesting use of word arrangement. Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thanx prometheus a lil too hard to read maybe |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I liked it..very serious theme Walt. Hope all is well with you.  |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Hi Walt, Your message here is great. The collection of trash rolling down the hill. I liked it lots. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
I liked it, yes a bit hard to read but worth the effort, I liked the complexity, and yes it is rough when someone has done something that has consequences that you can see but can't help, and they keep snowballing and gathering more trouble as they go and once started there is nothing you can do to stop it...ok, now you tell me...did I at least get close?...if not, I still liked what I thought I read  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
WOW, help me, I'm spacially disoriented when it comes to the last part of your piece and I cannot for some reason make heads nor tails of it...oops, perhaps I'm reading it upside down, or need to be, given the theme? A clue, please! BTW, good to see ya! Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thank you all and for sunshine yuh good to see you too...the last jumbled up line should read...the rock is wrapped in litmus paper...the word rock i have wrapped in the words litmus paper yuh...litmus paper takes rock but there is no litmus paper in the situation so thats out...my sword i have but it gets smashed by the rock...rock takes scissors... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Quite the line structure wayout, I like it. Holds the reader, makes the material much more memorable. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Excellent!! Love this! That's far out, Wayout! |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Very interesting piece of poetry you have here....I agree with Sunshine...it is a little confusing and I would say very deep....excellent!!! Different...I liked it!!!  Julie :) |
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gothicmoth Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89 |
I love arrangements like this. I've written a few like this myself. The computer makes it hard to format, but I think you did an excellent job with it. I even caught the litmus paper. The rhythm got faster with the rock too. Wow, this was really cool. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thank you all yuh i tried my best on the formatting and kinda just went o the heck with it yuh |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Walt I think you did great in your formatting. I too had a problem deciphering the latter part of it. I kind of got it, the first thing I thought was rock, paper, scissors  It's just kind of hard to understand the end. Also this part H o w it To roll the rock back up the hill i To stop the hunter from its kill s impossible Not sure whether to read down across or what. |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Very unique and well-expressed. I liked this part: H o w it To roll the rock back up the hill i To stop the hunter from its kill s impossible because you *must* slow down to read it. It staggers the flow a bit-- rather like one trying to stop that rock. Excellent. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
WOW, thanks ... I hate being a "duh" but now that you explained it, I see it... now I'm going to be like a rolling stone and gather no moss...BYE! Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
yuh i was havin some feelings and i just wanted to experiment with the layout and it was fun i must say yuh |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very interesting, Walt, I really enjoyed reading this... |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
This poem ROCKS! sorry, couldn't help it The formatting works well and is nicely in context.Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Hey Eric, that's what I was gonna say...you beat me to it....hehehe. Great poem Walt! I had trouble with the last part too. Thanks for explaining it. I think I could have figured it out if you had litmus going the other way around the rock since I tend to read from the left. Very clever formatting! Denise |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
just wanted to say thanx i was overwhelmed by the response yuh yuh |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Clever Walt! Enjoyed this I did ... up, down and all around! Well done!Best wishes, /Kit |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
There is that light at the end of the tunnel Walty...there it is Cool, cool poem... K |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I enjoyed this one Walt...(a.k.a. yuh beeeeg mean one) the style was different but as I saw in one of the other responses it made me slow down and read deeper, it's always nice to slow down , very powerful feelings and a great piece of work! |
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