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Open Poetry #8
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-06-27 12:34 PM


-cream soda friendship-
to b.

She can make me smile when my mind is a dark cloud.
Yes, while I'm weighing the texture, coloring the temperature,
Figuring out the size of the hail, if any rainbows might appear
From the cloud's furthest sections,
She makes me laugh.
Just a simple message or two; that's all that's needed.

I told her I'd write a poem about her.
After all, she's given me many inspirations
Ranging from the hills of Malibu crumbling, churning in fire,
To the simple symbol of a bird in flight,
And on into places she doesn't even know exists
Until I map it out in painful words.

I am the architect and the cartographer,
The choreographer and the theologian
To thoughts even I didn't know were there.
She constructs a church, free of cobwebs,
Where I may worship language as an instrument of god's grace,
But please -- let's save face.
I promised this poem wouldn't be corny.
I don't think it is.

Yet.

I guess I just want to say,
Thank you for knowing how to play.
For wearing the names of Cool Dark Chick
and Dark Lady of Laughter with the humor required
To wear them.

Let's sit in the shade outside,
Where the California sun can't blame or find.
We'll talk, cream soda in cans on the table.
(nobody else would ever drink that stuff, would they?)
At least we can pretend we're still young and able.
I was just kidding with that last line, okay?


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-06-27 01:20 AM


I am the architect and the cartographer,
The choreographer and the theologian
To thoughts even I didn't know were there.
She constructs a church, free of cobwebs,
Where I may worship language as an instrument of god's grace,
But please -- let's save face.
I promised this poem wouldn't be corny.
I don't think it is.

Yet.

I guess I just want to say,
Thank you for knowing how to play.
For wearing the names of Cool Dark Chick
and Dark Lady of Laughter with the humor required
To wear them.
------------
you couldnt write a corny poem if ya tried  
this one wrote out WAY COOL...
just like the poet...
later-cream soda-gator(butterfly slippers loves cream soda)
me




baby dont you work so hard
for this prize you've found,
it will all be gone-when you turn around,
cause nothing lasts forever anyway.
Rick Roberts

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-06-27 07:18 AM


Not corny at all Mike ... sweet and tender
from the heart.  Nicely penned!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
3 posted 2000-06-27 07:48 AM


As Wet Willie would say,,
"keep on smilin"
but keep the soda..lol
nice playful poem.

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2000-06-27 08:47 AM


This is a tender tribute...I like this much, Mike...playful and sweet, I think endearing comes to mind too...but I'll stop now, I wouldn't want to get all corny about it...hee hee hee...
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2000-06-27 11:13 AM


Mike, this is tender and a little funny, but not corny...I think it needs a new word, a combination of precious and wow....or something.  Loved it!

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 06-27-2000).]

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2000-06-27 01:17 PM


Mike~ I really enjoy your poetry, I'm sure I've told you that enough now   This is so sweet, I love this kind of friendship!   -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2000-06-27 08:39 PM


LOL, cute poem..corny? I like corny..corny dogs, candy corny, creamed corny..  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-06-27 08:56 PM


Oh, I don't know...I bet you could get really corny if you tried...    

This, however, is simple, genuine, and sweet. Just right.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2000-06-28 12:03 PM


Thanks, everyone.   Wow, this has gotten a lot of attention for a small tribute to a good friend -- even moreso than some of my "Voices of the Web" submissions. Maybe I should post it there for voting? Hmmm.... nah.   This one should stay small and secret. By the way, my friend loved it.

Mike

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-06-28 08:04 AM


Mike~
I like !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
11 posted 2000-06-29 07:32 PM


Hi Mike,

Much enjoyed, thanks for sharing,

Cerenity

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

12 posted 2000-06-30 12:46 PM


Thanks Marge and Cerenity.

Mike

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
13 posted 2000-06-30 01:07 AM


I love rambled thoughts formed into poetry,
neat poem Mike....and I adore Cream Soda!

~Heather

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