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Open Poetry #8
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Passion evokes pain as well as pleasure
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Passion evokes pain as well as pleasure |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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One More Sad Poem Tonight I write; One more sad poem. I could not keep my tortured mind from thoughts of you, As I sit alone beneath yet another Easter moon. So many chill spring nights like this were spent, With you folded within my grateful arms. On this night, how can I not write - One more sad poem. There is no magic metaphor, not a single simile To convey the heaviness of my heart, how very lost I am- Without your company. The immensity of my loneliness is challenged, Only by the vast heavens above, even now taunting me. So once again I write, one more sad poem. How very much I did love you, So much so that I still do. Someone else now holds you, beneath our Easter Moon. Would that the wind could carry, and deliver to your heart, The dreams this night has beheld, and witness fall apart. With moist eyes uplifted I write,- One more sad poem. One last sad poem |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I know this feeling...and it hurts.... Nice work. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Prometheus, Welcome to the Passions family. Hope that you stay with us. This is very lovely yet so sad and heart wrenching. It is never easy to lose such a love, but we must try to learn from our mistakes so that we do not make them again. Wonderful writing!!  Lone Wolf Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thank You for the kind words, and perhaps even more so for the warm welcome. |
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Lorraine Nisbet Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 218Jersey City, NJ USA |
Welcome to Passions, Prometheus!!! Nice poem. ~Lorraine A great poet is nothing more....than a discovered amateur |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
WOW!!!! What an entrance you have made!!!! I offer a sincere welcome to you m'friend Can't wait to read more All my love, Jeffrey |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A very sad tale you tell But oh, you tell it very well If wind won't carry her your dream Perhaps the moon will kindly gleam This wondrous verse upon her heart So you will never be apart This is so lovely I look forward to more of your poerty Liz |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks for the words of encouragement. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Welcome my friend to the Passions family. . . There is always time for one more sad poem, especially when they're like this. . . Well done. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Again.....Welcome to Pasions. I had to come and read your work since you were so complimentary of mine. You have a unique style of writing. I look forward to more. Marina It is blessing to have wings for your words, and passion to flow from pen. Marina Crossley |
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star216 Junior Member
since 2000-06-26
Posts 11 |
A great but sad poem. Many people can relate to this poem. Eager to read more of your work. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks for all the kind words everyone...but how about some advice on making it carry more of a rhythm...it seems to lack any kind of melody to me. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I cannot help but taste your pain...the tears on my cheeks proof that words are stronger than steel...sharper than the thorns of a rose. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Welcome to Passions! It is nice to see someone newer than myself. I know you will love it here as I do. Now, your creation and advice on rhythm. It has a wonderful flow and rhythm and I see no need to try and improve it. Enjoyed it much. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Would that the wind could carry, and deliver to your heart, The dreams this night has beheld, and witness fall apart. With moist eyes uplifted I write,- One more sad poem. --------------------- beautiful, emotional piece here... you express your emotions with an aching depth and honesty. we have a Critical Analysis forum here at Passions that you can post work to ask for suggestions and critique to fine tune your poems. We tend to only encourage and give and get inspiration from each other in the other forums. and again...WELCOME and thank you take care, jm baby dont you work so hard for this prize you've found, it will all be gone-when you turn around, cause nothing lasts forever anyway. Rick Roberts |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Janet Marie, Thank you for the tip. |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
With a tip of the hat, a nod and gentle smile, I bid you welcome, and thank you for this poetic treat. I look forward to reading more...  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Lovely poem I look foreward to reading more from you P. Welcome to Passions. Olias |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nice writing here, Prometheus ... a sad one, but well written... WELCOME TO PASSIONS and enjoy your stay here... I hope to read more of your poems soon regards, sudhir. Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks to all for the most generous words. Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wonderful owrk again Prometheus. I know this feeling well. Welcome to Passions BTW Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks Angel, I only wish I had your gift of words so that I might express myself in a more artistic way. jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
Tears stream down my face as I feel the tormented heartache. You have painted the picture of words and captured the emotion within your canvas. You have such a gift ot verse. Thanks for sharing them with me <**> |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Beautiful, James!!! Welcome to the Passions Family! I love your work!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Siren's Song Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 17 |
Jamie... you already know what I think and how I feel about your writing.. as incredible as you.. thank you for sharing this site with me. Siren's Song |
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Poetias Junior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 26 |
You make want to "fold you within MY grateful arms". "There is no magic metaphor", no catchy phrase that could tell you how beautiful this piece is to me. Applause, Applause... "Even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you." -Khalil Gibran THE PROPHET |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Beautifully simple and thought provoking. Excellent - straight from the heart - God bless you Jamie. |
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Lady Web Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 96Houston, Texas |
Lovely simply Lovely You sure know how to hit the right cord. |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Beautifully written. Looking forward to more postings. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"There is no magic methaphor" what wonderful writing. I loved this, glad I saw it. Kathleen |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
To right a wrong, since this is your FIRST post here, I'm sending you a special welcome! Sorry it took so long!  |
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