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Passions in Poetry

Little Girl Lost

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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986

0 posted 06-25-2000 12:07 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Janet Marie

How many times I have picked up this pen ...
starting but never finishing ... unable to write thru all my tears ...
If only I could write the words to heal,
find the verses to give you back these lost years ...

~Little Girl Lost~

I watched you from across the room today ...
I saw your beautiful smile thru my silent tears.
You don't smile like that very often,
you carry so many burdens on those shoulders of only sixteen years.

And I watched you ... watching them ...
I saw the left behind, hurt, look in your eyes.
I see the way they look at you ...
but they cant see past your mask, your protective disguise.

You should be there with them,
laughing and just being a teen.
Not sitting here with me ...
as your life passes you by ... fate must seem so cruel, so mean.

It hurts me in a place so deep ...
this never ending pain I try so hard to hide.
But the way you handle each moment with grace,
makes my aching heart fill with healing pride.

I sit here each new day ... in awe of you,
you are already so much stronger than I will ever be.
You carry all your pain and losses ...
and you do it each day with such dignity.

I think back to the promise born in you ...
and the dreams and futures that have been stolen away.
The gifted violinist, the talented artist ...
now a body tormented with pain ... those gifts seem gone to stay.

Each day I try not to ask why ...
I try to accept the reasons, the way you do.
But God I would give anything ...
if it was me who was sick instead of you.

I've already lived my life ...
you never got a start on all your dreams.
It all so unfair ...
still I must try to hide my mother's tears and screams.

Together I know we can make it ...
I know we can find the strength to get through.
Anytime I think I'm lost ...
all I have to do is see the light that radiates from you.

You are the sunshine in my day,
you are my reason and my rhyme.
You give me hope to carry on ...
by you ... my life is sweetly defined

I love you my sweet Rachel Rene,
more than you will ever understand.
Well, thats not entirely true ... I know you do,
I know by the way you just reached over and took my hand.

Janet Marie

for my daughter Rachel, who suffers from Fibromylagia and Myofacial Pain Syndrome, as well as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. (Diagnosed at 12)
It is an Arthritis like illness that causes muscle, joint, and soft tissue pain throughout the body.
As well as attacking the bodies immune system.
She is a lesson in strength, patience, and dignity.
Though too sick to attend classes at her high school, she is home tutored and
continues to make straight A's as she did when she was able to go to school.
I wrote this after we had a rare day out ... we went to the mall to have lunch to
celebrate her report card.
It was hard to see many of the kids from her school there, but she took it all in stride
with her usual grace.
This is the first time I have ever been able to write about this subject.
Something's are just too hard to express.

I would like to thank a special friend from here, who when I told of Rachel's illness--
sent me websites and names of books to look for new information about
her health.
As well as several long informational E-mails.
Thank you Parker, you are a good friend and kind soul.
I truly appreciate the time and effort, and you.

**** I want to come back and clarify,
so there is no confusion,
What Rachel has is not life threatening...
I know there are SO many parents who care for sick children and many live each day wondering if its their last.
I thank God everyday I dont have to live with that burden.
I just wanted to make this clear. I should have put it the post at the start.
thank you

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-25-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 06-12-2000
Posts 761
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!

1 posted 06-25-2000 12:14 PM       View Profile for JulieAnn   Email JulieAnn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JulieAnn

What a waondeful tribute to your daughter you have written,,,,,I am typing through my tears....hold the time you have precious.... take care....

Julie :)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839

2 posted 06-25-2000 12:19 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Janet Marie--hugs to you and my prayers are with you and your daughter...words are failing me on this, but I am an e mail away...
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA

3 posted 06-25-2000 12:21 PM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee

~Janet Marie~

Words cannot express how beautiful this is.
What a beautiful and heartbreaking tribute to your daughter.  She sounds like an amazing person to be so strong, smart and hopeful after everything that she has had to live through in her young life.  I am truly sorry for your daughter's suffering, but, as a mother you must so proud of such a spirited, courageous girl    I wish both of you the best.  And as always, Janet, you are a very talented poet and I am sure that your Rachel is very proud of you

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525

4 posted 06-25-2000 12:39 PM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

i cant write thru my tears
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532

5 posted 06-25-2000 12:40 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Jan, as always your poetry touched me but this went way deep enough to bring tears to my eyes. I am lost for words. What does one say what can on say except that you have so much courage, strenght and love in your heart.

We take so many things for granted... we complain when there are others who have to struggle harder than us.  Jan, a wonderful tribute to your daughter she sounds like a very strong, and brave young girl. I wish both of you well.  
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC

6 posted 06-25-2000 01:02 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster


i'm trying to type thru my tears but
i'm sorry im unable to respond here
right now. please expect an email from
me soon though.

i love you!

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."

"Fate exists but it can only take you so far,
Because once you're there
It's up to you to make it happen."

since 06-10-2000
Posts 371
Ottawa, Canada

7 posted 06-25-2000 01:02 PM       View Profile for Trew   Email Trew   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Trew

Never underestimate the strength of a child, the conviction of a mind, or a mother's love.
I see you two hold all three.
My words will never do justice to the love expressed in that tribute, so allow me to simply say that I wish you both the best that life holds.  Stay gold.

Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful

8 posted 06-25-2000 01:27 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Janet, this is so sad. I'm sure it touched your daughter, as it has touched so many people here. God bless you and Rachel!


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 06-25-2000 01:49 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Funny thing about God -
She made special kids -
and then gave them to special mommies !
Tender and touching, my friend.

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 01-10-2000
Posts 4176
King of Prussia, PA USA

10 posted 06-25-2000 02:12 PM       View Profile for ellie LeJeune   Email ellie LeJeune   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ellie LeJeune

dear Janet; I'm so touched by this. I so admire the Grace God has given you both in the midst of this trial. My prayers and my love always, Ellie
Lorraine Nisbet
since 05-18-2000
Posts 221
Jersey City, NJ USA

11 posted 06-25-2000 02:37 PM       View Profile for Lorraine Nisbet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorraine Nisbet


I am deeply touched by the courage and love in this tribute.  Prayers and well wishes.


A great poet is nothing more....than a discovered amateur                

[This message has been edited by Lorraine Nisbet (edited 06-25-2000).]
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608

12 posted 06-25-2000 03:22 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Perhaps, Janet Marie---through this young suffering, she has become a stronger and more spirit filled person...I believe through the negative there always grows a stronger possitive.  I know you see this in her, I see it in you!  You are a special woman...I admire you greatly!
Senior Member
since 06-20-2000
Posts 1031
Pearl city Iowa

13 posted 06-25-2000 03:25 PM       View Profile for OLIAS   Email OLIAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for OLIAS

I cant express what I feel, J.M. except pride, sorrow, but most of all strength in the bond between you and  your daughter. But these words just don't seem enough.

Your spirit puts me to shame and I am deeply moved.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA

14 posted 06-25-2000 03:36 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Janet Marie,

So sad and heartfelt.  Simply a beautiful poem you have written about your special daughter.  She is very lucky in many ways to have a mother who cares so deeply for her.  I am sure it is not easy some days to see her like that and think of that all that you dreamed she would be, but each and every day is a gift from God to be treasured.  I know you will cherish those gifts and the memories.  You have brought tears to my eyes also.  Lovely writing.  Take care.  

Lone Wolf

Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments

15 posted 06-25-2000 09:46 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Oh JM, you have me near tears..your words are painfully powerful.  I give my heart out to you and your daughter both.  The strength in the both of you is obviously remarkable and I wish you both the best.

*Krista Knutson*

"Cherish your vision; Cherish your ideals; Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts. If you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." ~James Allen~

"We've made houses for's time we made a place where people's souls may be seen and made safe"...~Jewel~
Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada

16 posted 06-25-2000 10:01 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Dearest Janet Marie ... What a wonderful, heart-filled tribute this is to Rachel. You've expressed your emotions so gracefully and tenderly in this. I was truly captivated and touched by this lovely poem.

Watch for an e-mail in a bit ...

Best wishes Janet Marie & Rachel,

Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002

17 posted 06-25-2000 10:12 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This one brought me to tears, Janet Marie. It is so tenderly written from a mother's heart. She sounds like a special person, just like her mom! HUGS to you both!  

Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario

18 posted 06-25-2000 10:42 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

You and Rachel are an inspiration to us all.  Just when  we think are life is tough.......we find the strength in others to carry on.  God bless you and Rachel.

James is very good at at finding info on health matters!  Who knew he would come in handy!!!!!!  LOL    


[This message has been edited by Marina (edited 06-26-2000).]
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561

19 posted 06-25-2000 11:46 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Janet this is an inspiration to many! This brings tears to my eyes and much tenderness to my heart! It seems the ones who have so much to deal with like your daughter, have such a strong faith! They are a living testament to us all!

God bless you! This was so touching, and I'm glad you found the words and strength to write about it!
Poet deVine
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley

20 posted 06-25-2000 11:53 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

What a beautiful poem for Rachel! It's amazing what children can handle isn't it? But then, she's your child, JM, she could be nothing less than spectacular, brave and sweet!!!  
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015

21 posted 06-26-2000 12:14 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

JM, this really touched me. It reminded me of how lucky I really am. It made me feel ashamed of the little things that I complain to myself about every day. Thank you for sharing this with us and opening our eyes.

Oh yes, I also want to remind you to keep your faith in the One who watches over us all and helps us all bear the pains that this world gives us. As long as your daugher has Him, He will always comfort her.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song

22 posted 06-26-2000 12:49 AM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

As others have said, I do not believe I could come up with words for this one that it would do it justice.  The writing in it self is amazing-the feelings are just above what could be said by anyone other than the love of a mother to her daughter.  My prayers are with you both.  
Senior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 1115

23 posted 06-26-2000 02:38 AM       View Profile for Eloise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eloise

What a tender and wonderful tribute you have written for Rachel.  Very touching piece.
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084

24 posted 06-26-2000 03:51 AM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

Thank you for sharing this one Janet, it embraces the depth of my heart.


[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 06-27-2000).]
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