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Open Poetry #8
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The Things I Never Said
| Open Poetry #8 |
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The Things I Never Said |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
The Things I Never Said A tormented heart finally revealed Tears of pain in hidden eyes A soul pleaded feelings it had concealed In fancy costumes, there the truth lies With wine upon lips, the erotic pleasures to hold Selfish sins of a gold band Darkness whispers of scandals untold Set free, to one who holds the left hand I say now what I never said A friend in me no better you will find But I can't forget that you are wed So come to me if only in my mind And let me say the things I never said Marina 200 [This message has been edited by Marina (edited 06-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A soul pleaded feelings it had concealed In fancy costumes, there the truth lies With wine upon lips, the erotic pleasures to hold Selfish sins of a gold band Darkness whipers of scandals untold Set free, to one who holds the left hand ----------------- So come to me if only in my mind And let me say the things I never said ----------------- ooh girl I LOVE this one... the rhyme is perfect, its reads lyricly like a song... some really cool lines in this gem... love those last two... and the second verses crytic feel keep coming cool-poet-gator jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving (How one move just puts me by myself) There you go just trusting someone else (Now I know I put us both through hell) ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong (I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me) And I'm not sayin (We ever had the right to hold on) (I just didn't wanna let you get away from me) ~MB20~ She says baby, It's 3AM ... I must be lonely, When she says baby, Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes, Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it. ~MB20~ |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Very nice!  Coco |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Read once is not enough. So there ARE others out there who know how I feel. |
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Jan Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 114 |
This is sooo good! So come to me if only in my mind...incredibly cool. |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
wow, this left me without a breath for a second. Incredible! ~Heather |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
marina~ well you weaved some magic with that pen of yours in this one! to say this is good would be an understatement! this was an awesome poem...truly loved the last stanza! take care. amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Enjoyed your poem,my favorite lines! With wine upon lips, the erotic pleasures to hold Selfish sins of a gold band Darkness whipers of scandals untold Set free, to one who holds the left hand |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Very good poem. . . I love the last verse. . . You've done well with this one. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Beautiful expression of feelings... Marina, particularly the last stanza Liked this muchly... regards, sudhir |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Thank you to all..... Jan,thank you....but my pen doesn't seem to be able to express its self as good as yours. Coco,Linda, Jan and Heather, thank you guys very much for your responses. Amy, thank you. I always appreciate your post. RH, thank you.....glad you liked it. Sven,thank you. This was not easy to write. I tried to express myself as cleary as possible with very few words. Sudhir, thank you. I always enjoy your posts. Marina It is blessing to have wings for your words, and ink to flow from pen. Marina Crossley |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Beautiful emotionally fulfilling poetry. You write good hon. James |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful and touching poem. I love the rhyming, it's perfect. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Such a difficult theme..you've expressed it very well... Sincerely A_L |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Nice rewrite here. Was that word supposed to be whipers or whispers.... so what its about whips and chains? so your into whipers in the night? Have whip will travel, you've got me all whiped up here. You quick as a whiper...lol what ever word you meant you sure whiped off a good one here. James |
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Martinque Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 69 |
Short and to the point. Very nice |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
James, thank you. You are very sweet and compliments mean a great deal to me. Lovebug,thanks......the rhyming wasn't easy! AL, thank you. I am glad you feel I was able to convey my message James....Thank you so much for pointing out my small spelling error. Not like me to make a mistake is it? LOL Now, about this whipping issue.......I feel that perhaps you have some deep secluded feelings that perhaps you are harbouring. Could it be that your subconciuos is playing you in dreams? HMMMMMMM........perhaps you should visit Dr. Sig.  Martinque, thank you. Marina < !signature--> It is blessing to have wings for your words, and passion to flow from pen. Marina Crossley [This message has been edited by Marina (edited 06-21-2000).] |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Marina, the truth in this one shines through more than you know. I liked. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Nice poetry!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
I loved this poem...and I can relate very much to it.....nice writing,,,,, Julie :) |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Gemini, thank you. I think the truth should always shine. Bridgette,thank you. I am glad you liked it. Julie, thanks. I think alot of people can relate to this at some time or another. Marina It is blessing to have wings for your words, and passion to flow from pen. Marina Crossley |
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