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Open Poetry #8
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Rift, Dispair.Time, Repair.
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Rift, Dispair.Time, Repair. |
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Slashed soul Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 86England |
Dante had his day Socraties lost his way I jumped the gun killin time thought you where forever mine. Close the door I don't want you anymore pick my shattered soul from the floor there is no turning back no repair to be done my love the victim of your smokin gun. Hostage heart, chaos mind mom told me this stuff was blind Looks that kill, affairs that will. recalling the tears that fell no time for me to dwell. Sun descends, darkness looms we sit thinking in seperate rooms Far apart, and too far gone a flicker of love, where once it shone. Too stubborn for sorry manacled to the ship of worry torn apart, ripped heart yet it beats harder than before maybe i'll return to your door and relight the fire of before. -Rich- who am I, why am here? written for spitfire, [This message has been edited by Slashed soul (edited 06-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 RJEHKing - All Rights Reserved | |||
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*passion-fruit* Junior Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 12 |
I'm not quite sure how to take this. It's very interesting and passionate!! Well nice work. I'll be sure to read more of your work. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Rich,...again the title so fits....this one says so much. Even before I clicked on it to read, I knew that a tiny bit of hope still existed in you. This poem is so well written. You are helping me to better understand what's going on....that offering is up to you...hehe..I just think it helps to get it out. So sad this is and real,...can so feel the pain, when you read this. Thank you for sharing this.....and here,...take this match and go. Take care. *Peace. ~BTW,...written for me???....how lovely of you to want to share this with me. Thanks. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 06-17-2000).] |
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Slashed soul Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 86England |
Thank you both for your comments, you know- pain is an easy subject to cover, as I feel it so much, not because I dont want too but I want to feel iy fully and so i can understand myself better - - your welcome Spitfire, and Passion Fruit- R X |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Hostage heart, chaos mind mom told me this stuff was blind Looks that kill, affairs that will. recalling the tears that fell no time for me to dwell. Sun descends, darkness looms we sit thinking in seperate rooms Far apart, and too far gone a flicker of love, where once it shone. Too stubborn for sorry manacled to the ship of worry torn apart, ripped heart yet it beats harder than before maybe i'll return to your door and relight the fire of before. Rich a very powerful piece of poetry. I especially loved the last 3 verses. Raw, passionate and excellently written. I wish you well. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great forward moving forceful lines of poetry. "shattered soul from the floor - the victim of your smokin gun - Hostage heart chaos mind - torn apart ripped heart." I like it when a poet throws forceful words into the passion. Good work all the way around. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
great lines in here! love the rhythm... how'd you get into my head? nice work |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Good luck on the rekindling! Captures the feelings of hurt very well. Did you mean "were" in last line of first stanza? Corinne |
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