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Open Poetry #8
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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2000-06-16 07:00 PM


This is probably not my best, but I'll share it anyways to get opinions  

~*CHILDHOOD LOST SENRYU*~


Summer yesterdays
when children played, danced and dreamed
Winter's passing time

*By Melissa Honeybee*

© Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-06-17 08:11 AM


You've captured the essence! Wonderful!  

Denise

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
2 posted 2000-06-17 12:17 PM


I think it's good, Melissa. You have a talent so keep writing!

Elizabeth


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!



Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
3 posted 2000-06-17 01:20 PM


Melissa,
  I too think you have done well with this, a sweet/sad contrast stands out for me.
Dennis :^)



Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has past
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
4 posted 2000-06-17 05:57 PM



Denise, Elizabeth, Dennis:  Thank you so much for the kind replies and for the support as always    I'll definately keep writing haikus and senryus

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee

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