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Open Poetry #8
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2000-06-15 06:35 PM


A rain-cleansed soul prays
"...please join me. Let's dance in the rain..."

~~~~~

A chain of beautiful little raindrops fall,
An unthreaded necklace of liquid crystals,
Sinful dusts from this heart, they washed all,
Cleansed my soul, enlightening 'inner glow' sparkles.

Newness I feel, a fragrance I smell,
Venturing into the falling rain,
Three-by-four rhythms ensue, feel swell,
I start a waltz in the rain, scattering pain.

I hear rushing water being sucked in by the soil,
Thirsty trees sip to quench, after a summer-boil,
Could sense sighs from the whispering grove,
Relieved from summer-heat, serene streams flow.

Rain clouds had gathered, had sounded thunderclaps,
While blazing lightning struck, delighted my eye,
Soon, the sky let rays through, opened up its flaps,
Dazed, marvelling at the rainbow, amid a dance stood I.

A purified heart, the rain left behind a cleansed soul,
Feeling overwhelmed, struck by sheer momentous joy,
A passing rain cloud, in a divine moment, had left a hole,
Where hate belonged, love will now reside. I feel a bit coy.

More clouds gather, this time they inspire
Me even more as I seek to douse my heart's fire.
Mustering all courage, I pleaded to my queen,
"Come, please join me. Let's dance in the rain..."

~~~


© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-06-15 06:38 PM


Sudhir~ I love the rain....I'd dance with you in it!! This is wonderful!   -SEA
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-06-15 07:24 PM


Its amazing how you have described the effects of the rain, the feelings that are aroused in you and the desire to dance in the rain with your sweetheart.  James
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-06-15 08:01 PM


Sudhir,
       you have described this wonderfully!!  I have done this and there's nothing like it in the whole world!!  I would say that everyone should try it at least once!!!

Great poem my friend. . .

--------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2000-06-15 08:04 PM


Sudhir, You have some excellent thoughts here very well expressed. Rain does cleanse the soul, my friend. Very good writing.......
Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
5 posted 2000-06-15 08:44 PM


A wonderful visual here my friend.  Very nice indeed.

Marina

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-06-16 07:09 AM


The whole poem is lovely Sudhir ... you've woven such beautiful sentiments of love and cleansing within.  But I must say my talented friend ... do you know that I've been trying to write something about the rain now for about 2 weeks, and just couldn't get it "right"?  In just these 4 lines, you've freed me!  Now maybe I can move on to new thoughts, this was beautifully and so vividly penned.  THANK YOU.

"I hear rushing water being sucked in by the soil,
Thirsty trees sip to quench, after a summer-boil,
Could sense sighs from the whispering grove,
Relieved from summer-heat, serene streams flow."

Great writing Sudhir!

Best wishes,
/Kit


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
7 posted 2000-06-16 08:17 AM


Great work! There is nothing quite like the rain.

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
                  ~Unknown

 God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown



Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
8 posted 2000-06-16 08:37 AM


Sudhir, what a glorious, fresh poem!  I love the rebirth after a good summer storm. And to dance within it?  Fabulous!  Great work!


 I have been to see the world. Tasted life at every turn.
And all the time your face came back to haunt me.
-Chris DeBurgh

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-06-16 09:03 AM


Sudhir~
What a lovely, lovely image this is -

'An unthreaded necklace of liquid crystals'

Oh, my !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2000-06-16 09:09 AM


"...and I am refreshed in God's tears..."

oh, I like this one a lot, I do...

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2000-06-16 09:21 AM


SEA...
Thanks. Now lets dance  

James,
Thanks a lot...I had immense joy while writing this one...My thoughts are moving around in my hometown, where the onset of rain has just begun, and thoughts of a rain dance cross my mind...

Sven
Thanks for your kind words.

Balladeer,
Should I day that the deed is done and I am enjoying the fruits of it... I am very contented in the thought that you have found this one "very good". this I will remember...I am getting ready to post my next now, with boundless enthusiasm...

Marina,
Thanks a lot. Very kind of you.



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
12 posted 2000-06-16 09:29 AM


OOPS just clicked 'submit' there in the middle of my thanking you all...and it is a long list of beautiful people indeed...

Kit,
I will wait for your rain-song to come down this way soon...I am sure that one will be better than this one...Thank you for your appreaciative words, and I am glad that this one echoed what you had in mind...

EagleOne,
Thanks for reading and posting...
Well, after many a gloomy winter days, sunshine does bring lots of joy to this soul...but I appreciate your thoughts all the same...

Trew,
I am glad that you found this fresh...Thank You

Marge,
you picked up one of my best lines there... Thank You...I like working with images a lot...guess thats my style...

Karilea,
Sunshine of this soul, Thank you for your kind words...I am very satisfied with the thought that you liked this one...btw, do you think this also fits in the scheme of posting in the Spiritual Journeys forums... maybe that will be a double post, anyway...

Thanks everybody, I am very happy today... reading all these comments.
Regards, sudhir.



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2000-06-16 04:01 PM


What I meant when I said you had freed me Sudhir, was that it is "I" who bows to "you" ... to the beauty of the words I could not seem to formulate myself. There will be no future rain poem for me, for the words that eluded me, found their way to your golden pen.  Again, beautifully done. I believe my favorite of yours "so far" Sudhir.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2000-06-16 04:32 PM


Sudhir,
More clouds gather, this time they inspire
Me even more as I seek to douse my heart's fire.
Mustering all courage, I pleaded to my queen,
"Come, please join me. Let's dance in the rain..."

This last stanza says it all.
Good work.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
15 posted 2000-06-16 04:59 PM


Thanks again, Kit...

Seymour,
Your appreciative words help me a great deal... Thank you.


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
16 posted 2000-06-16 06:18 PM


Sudhir, I feel cleansed already.

An excellent poem. Truely excellent and very
refreshing. I will never look at rain the same way again.

A chain of beautiful little raindrops fall,
An unthreaded necklace of liquid crystals,
Sinful dusts from this heart, they washed all,
Cleansed my soul, enlightening 'inner glow' sparkles.

Newness I feel, a fragrance I smell,
Venturing into the falling rain,

More clouds gather, this time they inspire
Me even more as I seek to douse my heart's fire.


A purified heart, the rain left behind a cleansed soul,
Feeling overwhelmed, struck by sheer momentous joy,

 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

"Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso

"We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde


-----






ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2000-06-16 08:59 PM


Sudhir you've got something there, real close to the soul. I love the appreciation for life and the willingness to adapt while being wrapped in the beauty of the moment. "Amid a dance I stood" I'm sure you did, I just went there with you.
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
18 posted 2000-06-16 11:41 PM


Oh my....this is absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking...

 *Krista Knutson*

"Cherish your vision; Cherish your ideals; Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts. If you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." ~James Allen~


"We've made houses for hatred...it's time we made a place where people's souls may be seen and made safe"...~Jewel~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
19 posted 2000-06-17 09:42 AM


Brian,
Thanks a lot for reading adn posting your very kind words...

ethome,
Thanks for your appreciation...and for reading

Krista,
thank you very much...

Regards to all,
Sudhir


Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
20 posted 2000-06-17 11:06 AM


~sudhir

this was beautiful! oh how i loved
this one!! my favorite by you thus far
my friend. vivid imagery, beautiful
emotion. this one is a real keeper!
take care.
amy  

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."

"Fate exists but it can only take you so far,
Because once you're there
It's up to you to make it happen."




Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
21 posted 2000-06-17 04:47 PM


Thanks a lot Amy, your words mean a lot to me...

my best so far, eh? this gives me far more added pleasure....
Like sipping honey sweetened nectar
from tender tendrils of the flower
Wet with purified droplets
heaven graced, naturally pure.

...
Thank you...

Regards, sudhir

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

22 posted 2000-06-17 05:58 PM


Nicely written...  I like.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
23 posted 2000-06-17 06:50 PM


Mike, thanks for reading, glad that you liked...
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