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Open Poetry #8
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Sunshine
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0 posted 2000-06-14 03:20 PM


With One Word

With one word, and purely put,
foremost and there, go I,
while one word, now here’s a clue ~
for I cannot perform without you.

Then here is where I fetch a word
and yet another word or two;
and soon with my baton in hand,
a duet I shall play with you.

Straight away I nod, to begin the dance,
and you shall bring a friend, or more,
then soon and perhaps a swift romance
will begin on this wordy dance floor.

For in this parlor we shall seek
words of passion to render us weak,
those words which like illusion speaks,
and with help, and perhaps some chic,

we will dance, you and I
to words of chance, you and I,
to words of romance, you and I,
with words of passion, to cause a sigh…

now under candelabra, arm in arm,
a masquerade of wit and eyes ~
softly, softly, I say to you,
where thou words go, go you and I.



14 June 2000
©KRJ



 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
1 posted 2000-06-14 03:59 PM


now under candelabra, arm in arm,
a masquerade of wit and eyes ~
softly, softly, I say to you,
where thou words go, go you and I.


a wonderful poem...really lovely.....and
amazing.


Straight away I nod, to begin the dance,
and you shall bring a friend, or more,
then soon and perhaps a swift romance
will begin on this wordy dance floor.

For in this parlor we shall seek
words of passion to render us weak,
those words which like illusion speaks,
and with help, and perhaps some chic,


 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

"Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso

"You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating



-----





Sunshine
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2 posted 2000-06-14 04:05 PM


Brian, I take it that you approve of this piece, and I thank you for your kind words...

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2000-06-14 04:19 PM


we will dance, you and I
to words of chance, you and I,
to words of romance, you and I,
with words of passion, to cause a sigh…

now under candelabra, arm in arm,
a masquerade of wit and eyes ~
softly, softly, I say to you,
where thou words go, go you and I.

...........
What amazing sentiments,
What a nice post to mark the 3000....

congratulations and accolades, Karilea....

Regards,
Sudhir

Sunshine
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4 posted 2000-06-14 04:24 PM


Sudhir

I curtsy, kind sir, in silken sheen,
as you stand there, tall and lean,
then I'll your arm take, and enter the dance...
speak softly sir, your words of romance...

I don't know what is in me today, but I am certainly enjoying it!

Thanks for the kind comments!


 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
5 posted 2000-06-14 04:28 PM


great sunshine poem for sure i liked iits dreamy feel
Sunshine
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6 posted 2000-06-14 04:47 PM


WOW - [that's an acronym for you, Walt...] I certainly appreciate your reading, and yes, I was going for "dreamy"...I often try for that but fail...until someone like you says, yup, yuh, y'didit!  Thanks!

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

7 posted 2000-06-14 04:56 PM


.. words of passion to render us weak ..
Sunshine this poem you've shared is truly sweet!
Coco  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2000-06-14 04:57 PM





CONGRATS on your milestone marking post Sun
this poem is exceptional...
a perfect tribute to let your poetic grace shine.
the imagery is exquisite...
love that first stanza ...
later-sun-gator
jm



 And it's good that I'm not angry,
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore
Cry when you cry,
run when you run,
love when you love,
represent the ashes
that you leave behind
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~



Sunshine
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9 posted 2000-06-14 05:02 PM


Coco, "sweet" works for me, thank you!...

Janet Marie, how kind of thee to come on in and take a spin...thanks for the butterfly comments!...

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
10 posted 2000-06-14 06:26 PM


Dear Sunshine; Magical and fantasy and fun!
Congratulations on 3000! I love this whimsical and lovely poem, I'm waiting for Merlin to enter in the dance! Love, Ellie

 02



vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2000-06-14 06:36 PM


Nice poem.Enjoyed It.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2000-06-14 07:03 PM


Karilea~
Yes !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


BSC
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
13 posted 2000-06-14 08:23 PM


Oh Sunshine - What a beautiful piece of work.  So mystical and full of charm.  Great poem in memory of your 3,000th post...Congrats ...Bonnie

[This message has been edited by BSC (edited 06-14-2000).]

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
14 posted 2000-06-14 10:11 PM


~sunshine,
3000 posts, wow! that in itself
is quite an achievement! kudos to you.
this piece was excellent! loved each
stanza, with its vivid wording and flow.
true perfection and dare i say
breathtaking.
take care.
amy  

 "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."

"Fate exists but it can only take you so far,
Because once you're there
It's up to you to make it happen."




Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2000-06-14 10:14 PM


Congratulations, Sunshine! Beautiful poem!

Denise

Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
16 posted 2000-06-15 08:51 AM


Congratulations on 3000 Sunshine! Wow, what a milestone ... wonderfully mystical and enchanting verse you've penned to celebrate it ... really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-15-2000).]

Sunshine
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17 posted 2000-06-15 09:11 AM


Thank you all! It's fun to see what little things will put ink in the pen, hey?

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2000-06-16 08:38 PM


Man that is so well done and so pretty. "A masquerade of wit and eyes" oh yes, I like that one. Good show!
Sunshine
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19 posted 2000-06-17 12:18 PM


Thank you, Ethome...I've not seen your name before, so a hearty WELCOME to Passions!< !signature-->

Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~



[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-18-2000).]

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
20 posted 2000-06-19 06:51 AM


I know I commented earlier Sunshine, but I see this is now a book submission since you first posted ... so a second visit is a must dear poet!  Wonderful poem, great choice!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
21 posted 2000-06-19 09:47 AM


Nice choice, Karilea...

regards, sudhir

Sunshine
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22 posted 2000-06-19 09:52 AM


Kit, Sudhir, thank you!

Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
23 posted 2000-06-19 09:55 AM


Sunshine~ this made me see a grand ball room and people swaying together! Love it!!   -SEA  (vote)

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB


Sunshine
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24 posted 2000-06-19 09:59 AM


Thank you, Sea. You caught the image perfectly...

Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
25 posted 2000-07-02 06:06 AM


Belated CONGRATS for your 3000th post!!  

what a big-hearted gracious host you are...not a proficient poet but may i join you for this wordy dance?    

btw,if ur 17-syllable poem is about nature, it is a haiku
if ur 17-syllable poem is about anything else(love, words of wisdom, life's lessons, friendship,material things etc etc) then it is a senyru

now that u know, write me one senyru...looking 4ward to ur attempt here  


[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 07-02-2000).]

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
26 posted 2000-07-02 06:32 AM


Lovely, Sunshine!!!
Really dreamy!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
27 posted 2000-07-02 06:39 AM


well done sunshine a most delightfully romantic poem.....Oh and a big CONGRATULATIONS on your 3000th post WOW    
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Sunshine
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28 posted 2000-07-02 09:11 AM


Kaile, thank you, and yes, I'll check in and attempt a senyru

Lizzie, your words are always a boost,
as are yours, ESP!  Thank you both so much!

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

29 posted 2000-07-02 09:19 AM


Congrats on your 3000th post Sunshine  
A truly lovely poem!  


Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"


Sunshine
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30 posted 2000-07-02 10:14 AM


Thank you DA!
demoninlove
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211
Dehradun
31 posted 2000-07-06 11:24 AM


Sunshine - your poetry is ORIGINAL IN EVERY WAY
Congratulations and well done
Deepak Menon



Sunshine
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Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
32 posted 2000-07-06 11:28 AM


Look what you've done ~



Thank you!


Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
33 posted 2000-07-06 01:25 PM


Every moment of our lives is a dance and you have captured it so well.  Thanks for the dance and belated congrats on your 3000th post.
Sunshine
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Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
34 posted 2000-07-06 01:29 PM


Mark, you are quite welcome for the dance...thank you...

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
35 posted 2000-07-06 01:31 PM


Don't know how I missed this one, it's quiet beautiful, Sunshine, and congradulations on your 3000th post!

Corinne

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
36 posted 2000-07-06 01:35 PM


Congratulations Sunny ... 3000 wow ... I'm not sure whether I can even make it to 1000
... if I do I hope it will be with a poem that's at least half as lovely as yours

Rex

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
37 posted 2000-07-06 01:38 PM


Goodness, I am overwhelmed today...cannot believe that when this came back up, courtesy of Deepak, that there would continue to be response after response.  I am blushing here...

thank you everyone, for your kind words and comments.  You have no idea how deeply this has affected me.  I am very honored, and I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


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