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Open Poetry #8
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RAM
Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 153


0 posted 2000-06-14 09:59 AM


the following was done as an exercise which had us writing new lyrics to a song we knew well:

     For Harvey

Sometimes I see your friendly smile,
this distance down through time,
and I wonder what fate might have dealt
if you had reached your prime.
That smile, though not quite legal,
was not your only crime -
your conscience wasn't drafted
so your body did some time.

I never had to face that challenge -
that's the only lottery I've ever won;
and though I thought you were prepared to face the challenge,
it seemed you were not ready for what it would become
when handled by the keepers of the guns,
who felt that what you did you had done to them.

Although I lost some closer friends
who chose the other way,
and I honored the choice they made then,
and I do so more today,
still I question were they listening
to what you tried to say,
or were you just in search of an excuse to go away.

You must have faced some other challenge
than the one to solve the war or peace debate;
it must have been a deep and intense inner challenge
that never troubled those of us who felt our heads were straight.
Did your desperate act assist or defeat fate?
Did you lack the courage to await your end?

I feel that there are causes which
might be worth dying for,
but I've always questioned taking life
even in a time of war;
and when the life you take is one
which you have claimed is yours,
you've changed some lives you would have touched
and those you touched before.

Now we are left to face the challenge
of making all the different pieces fit
into this puzzle which presents a double challenge
of making sense of what you did, without defending it,
and forgiving what we cannot quite forget.
Our candle is your smile; can it be lit again?


©  RAM   10/6/94


© Copyright 2000 RAM - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
1 posted 2000-06-14 10:34 AM


A very touching, poignant piece, Rick. Thanks for posting it.

Corinne

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-06-14 12:04 PM


Ram,
EXCELLENT rewrite...
wonderful touching tribute...
you wrote a tender verse there...
did Jackson proud...
he was a poet first...then a singer  
later-old gator J/K lol

Song For Adam
Jackson Browne
Saturate Before Using

Though Adam was a friend of mine, I did not know him well
He was alone into his distance
He was deep into his well
I could guess what he was laughing at, but I couldn't really tell
Now the story's told that Adam jumped, but I've been thinking that he fell

Together we went traveling, as we received the call
His destination India, and I had none at all
Well, I still remember laughing with our backs against the wall
So free of fear, we never thought that one of us might fall

I sit before my only candle, but it's so little light to find my way
Now this story unfolds before my candle
Which is shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
But I feel just like a candle in the way
I guess I'll get there, but I wouldn't say for sure

When we parted we were laughing still, as our goodbyes were said
And I never heard from him again as each our lives we led
Except for once in someone else's letter that I read
Until I heard the sudden word that a friend of mine was dead

I sit before my only candle, like a pilgrim sits beside the way
Now this journey appears before my candle
As a song that's growing fainter the harder that I play
That I fear before I am a fade away
But I guess I'll get there, though I wouldn't say for sure

Though Adam was a friend of mine, I did not know him long
And when I stood myself beside him, I never though I was as strong
Still it seems he stopped his singing in the middle of his song
Well I'm not the one to say I know, but I'm hoping he was wrong

I'm holding out my only candle, though it's so little light to find my way
Now this story's been laid beneath my candle
And it's shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
Yes, I feel just like a candle in the way
I hope I'll get there, but I've never prayed.




RAM
Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 153

3 posted 2000-06-15 09:49 AM


Thanks, Core.  Harvey was quite a guy, with quite a smile.  I've wondered, from time to time, what would have come from his life if he had gotten it together instead of discarding it.  

Thanks, Janet.  Glad you picked up on which JB song I based that on.  I forgot to mention it in my post.  Did the Song for Adam lyrics come from that website you posted the link for, Janet?  Someone did a lot of work on that site.  But, they could have maybe used a proof reader.     I see a few words they got wrong.  LOL

Rick

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-06-15 10:20 AM


hi,

yes the lyrics to every song are on that site
and I too was impressed with it...
one of the nicest tributes I've seen to JB...
and by the way ...

Speaking of Jackson Browne....
check out my post "Turn on the Music"  

something I'd been working on for awhile for "fun" and was unable to finish for whatever reasons
but your and Corinne's posts
helped inspire me to do so ..
SO THANKS  Tell C, for me
later-dino-gators
jm

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be

Awake again I can't pretend
And I know I'm alone
And close to the end
Of the feeling we've known ...

How long I've been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone through the night
How long have I been running for that morning flight
Through the whispered promises and the changing light
In the bed where we both lie
Late for the sky
Jackson Browne


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