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Shimmerings
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Shimmerings |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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You were my making and misfortune, Bright serpent, decked in iridescent scale – you rendered my dying beautiful – and yet Somehow, I never felt the venom's fervor less; You smiled, and the heavens paused their whirlings If a moment only, taking note; you held the sunlight, It seemed, or it held you -- as though the beams, careening earthward in their death-descent, Clambered to caress you, glorious end to golden existence, too-fleeting -- Spent and splintered to rainbow-flickerings by your kaleidoscopic soul. Mesmerized, I marveled as only youth can manage, taken wholly; Your colors glitter-danced across the canvas of my eyes, bewitching them with strangeness. For I was only of ochre and stormclouds, somber residence to shelter such a lucent heart. My shadows Could not suffer you – "Bright nemesis," they raged, "how came you to this dim retreat? Begone!" – But you never heard, and I, I never heeded. And so, upon that sudden Winter when sunlight failed, and hues withered In the bleak regard of swiftly-fading year, I rent the weaving of my spirit, tailoring the ruin To cloak your shame, the unaccustomed dusk which mocked your stolen gleam. I waited by, Naked in my hope, in the ache of disillusion, cradling my bright-plumed bird, broken in his exile From skies which once adored him. I bound your wounds in borrowed strength, and washed them with tears ... I wonder if they were the same as those which flowed at the eventual dawn When you flew from me, your mosaic restored and my monochrome forgotten, an unquiet dream Burned from memory by the proximal star; Did I weep, I wonder, or was it only your melting of my snows? < !signature--> YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Kess... wow. I opened this and upon seeing it wasn't your "normal" style, I got all excited, preparing to rip it to shreds. But alas, as I wen talong, I lost the heart to do so. This is too finely woven in all it's splendor. I am left dumbfounded at the images it provokes and the feelings it prods. My favorite line: I bound your wounds in borrowed strength, and washed them with tears ... DAMN! |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Whew! The structure and the images! I had to slow down while reading it because my imagination couldn't keep up. So beautiful a picture you painted. What a glorious poem. |
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Syntax Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 25 |
I agree with the others, and wish to add that your skill in word usage surpasses the average poet by far. A wonderfully crafted work, penned to perfection! syntax |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You smiled, and the heavens paused their whirlings If a moment only, taking note; you held the sunlight, It seemed, or it held you -- as though the beams --------------- I bound your wounds in borrowed strength, and washed them with tears ... I wonder if they were the same as those which flowed at the eventual dawn When you flew from me, your mosaic restored and my monochrome forgotten, an unquiet dream Burned from your memory by the proximal star; Did I weep, I wonder, or was it only your melting of my snows? -------------- "butterfly slippers" has no words... she has been rendered speechless ... by the grace of this poem ... and by the severe case of poet envy-- that as jaded her brown eyes.... she thanks you ... green was always her best color  later-extraordinary poet-gator jm And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
this peice was marvelous, and enchanting. i was lulled to read your florid story. it brought me to our relation with the earth and sky, as our lesson learners hard we walk and soft we lay. kindly, redheart angrybraids |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Kess, I find your poetry as spellbinding as you must the inspiration behind it. This poem reaches me on several planes of complexity but more so on the simple truth beneath it. When we finally let go of something wanted - needed - cherished SO bad and for the first time clearly see maybe it wasn't all we thought it to be originally, there's a tranquil calm to life, a newness of vision, and indeed a question of the pain we wonder if we felt to begin with. You've captured much of that emotion in this and very well I may add. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 06-14-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kess~ You're flying on a poetic plane that becomes you. This is just vibrant with imagery. Lovely, lovely, lovely. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Kess, you never cease to amaze me. . .this is no exception. . .nice to see you trying something new. . . please continue. . . "My shadows could not suffer you" Just wonderful. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Yes, Amazing is the word that comes to mind with this....I am absolutely spellbound...the format, the glorious images, the power of your words...it all adds up to something simply stunning. I stand in awe of you and hope that one day I may have half the talent that you possess. *Krista Knutson* First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. ~Epictetus~ |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
What imagery this piece flows , A wonderful poem , Well written  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Something new? She's trying something new??? And she's equally as good at that, you say??? Very nice, Kess - I like it lots... particularly the final couplet - Yep...  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Absolutely stunning Kess, I seemed spellbound as I was reading this verse, almost not wanting it to end ... simply breath-taking! Best wishes, /Kit |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
seriously, this absolutly beautiful, kindly, redheart angrybraids |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Kess  I was enraptured by this poem, the wordings, the phrases, the flow, it was absolutely incredible. You are a very talented poet, I hope you continue to add and add and add to your repertiore! Congrats on a triumphant poem, my dear. Heather |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Sheesh -- I feel kinda guilty resurrecting this from page 4, but I didn't get a chance to come back and thank everyone before now (cause Michael is a computer hog hehehe) Chris: Firstly, thanks for what, coming from you, is a grand compliment! and secondly, pbththtbthht, for wanting to slice-and-dice my freeverse! Brat! Trew: Thanks and welcome to Passions ... If you ask anyone who knows me, I am especially careful about form and content when I write my freeverse, because I feel it is the purest form of poetry -- the words have to stand on their own without the benefit of rhyme and meter to bolster them. As such, you see a great deal more effort in any one freeverse of mine than any three structured poems -- so your praise means three times as much! syntax: I have a great love for the English language, especially as it pertains to poetry -- thank you for acknowledging the many years of hard work I have put into mastering it to the best of my ability. I am humbled. JM: HEY -- I want some butterfly slippers too! LOL Not tomention I'm partial to green eyes myself ... not because I have them, or anything, mind you ... thanks for dropping in at any rate ... redheart: your compliment is well-received, oh poet-of-few-words. Thank you for your (double) dose of praise ... Michael: perception is everything, m'dear -- and of course we both know how that changes from moment to moment. This piece was not so much about wanting and pain as it was lessons learned ... luv ya babes Marge -- you are absolutely right! This particular plane landed me in Bakersfield, go figure! hehehe Thanks for the pat, gal ... Sven: I'd thank you, but I'm still not speaking to you over the whole joust thing, so no-can-do. Send me a big fat public apology and I'll think about it ... hehehe Alwye: Girl, you have succeeded in making me blush -- and BELIEVE me, that doesn't happen often! You are quite the poet yourself, madam -- may you choose a higher aspiration than simply living up to MY humble accomplishments!  whiskey: thank you much, I try! Nan: I'll bet your students really like you, if you dish out praise like THIS all day long ... yes, teach, I am stretching my proverbial wings in this genre ... and I tell you what, it feels rather good! Heather: Thank you so much for letting me know what you thought, and graciously to boot! "Adding to my repertoire" is indeed my intent ... may I never be emptied of poetry unless I am emptied of breath ... Thanks again all, and smooches ('cept none for Sven and an extra one for Michael ...) --Kess |
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