»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #8
»
Les Walt Miserables
| Open Poetry #8 |
|
Les Walt Miserables |
|
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
|
The players: The forces of good: Wayoutwalt the hero 010101110 binary code the essence of it all The Internet Serenity Cupid Sprites and fairies The forces of evil: The computer Act I the Arrival (en media res) (The scene begins with little Walt Vowing to never again take halt) Walt: I am I am truly now alive I have a computer just one no not five I am the king the king of the empire! And I will I will sate my one desire There is only one thing that I do not own I want a woman a pretty girl to call my own! (Walt our hero sits in front of his new toy Unaware that it has a mind to crush this little boy) (Enter the evil computer) Hiss! Computer: He thinks that he will rule his empire But he does not know that I have loose wire I will show him bounty he could never ever spend!! And then I will I will destroy him in the end!! Hiss! Walt: I am dreaming of a lady that I will ever love My intentions are pure from the angels up above I have my poetry to accompany my mythic lyre And I will forever say these words I AM A POET Without fear! Hiss! Computer: He thinks that he will woo them with his savior faire In a month he’ll resort to pornography for the women there And I will be his god and I will rule his world And I will remove his need to eat I will give him smelly feet And he will never change his underwear Cuz the women I provide him will not care!! Hiss! Walt: I have my 500 hours it’s all I’ll ever need I will find a decent lady and ride her off on my steed Computer: You my son will gain unlimited access And you will be mine forever no not less!! Walt: First though I need a name unlike no other I must be sure to keep the name given by my mother! (The muse Serenity dances in) Serenity: (unheard by Walt) you my son are in need of a name Nothing like your initials no that would just be lame I think I have it oh hear it is It roles of the tongue just like in show biz! (Serenity dips down and whispers in Walt’s ear) Walt: oh I have got it eureka I exclaim I have thought of the best ever penname! Chorus of invisible fairies and sprites (drink sprite it’s ite): This is the beginning though we are at the middle We might be thinking that Walt is just more human piddle But he has a new name a new name is what he has So he can win the hearts of girls who might else think him a spaz! Wayoutwalt: I am wayoutwalt is who I am I have email although I just get spam There is a haven of places to go and chat I will soon be the coolest of the cat But for now oh I can smell my socks And suddenly I have Ninety-nine girls in my buddy box! (yeah!) Act II Engaging Wayoutwalt: I take these ladies and spin em on my finger They wish that the time with me would ever linger But there is only so much room for IM’s on the screen BRB I say to the waiting ladies so as not to be mean Hiss! Computer: It is beginning I am gaining control Another foolish human I own its very soul He thought that he could have a girl of his very own But look at him sitting there it’s late and he’s alone (yeah!) (Enter a bit of binary code on the screen) 110010010 (Translation: EKD71) EKD71: My name is EKD71 and this is all new to me Walt: (thinking aloud) I do not think that you're lame just cuz you used your initials: EKD! What o dear does the 71 mean to you? EKD71: It was the year that I was born, toodaloo (Exit EKD71) EKD: I don’t think that he is thinking about me I just thought it would be cool to name myself EKD! Wayoutwalt: it’s okay she named herself EKD I just wonder will she ever fall in love with me EKD: I think that wayoutwalt is a stupid name He must think that he’s something other than just lame (Enter Cupid the god of Valentines Day) Cupid: EKD you will ask wayoutwalt on a date You can’t escape Destiny he is your one true fate EKD: (can hear Cupid cuz she is a woman and therefore in tuned to the cosmically weird) But Cupid I can’t ask him on a date He is binary code at any rate Cupid: He is mere piddle on the cosmic plate But oh dear EKD he’s human at any rate (clacking sounds) Wayoutwalt: I must I must sign on and find her EKD: I must I must sign on and find him (Burly male voice saying: You Have Mail) Wayoutwalt: I have email but no I am not dumb EKD is in my box so I don’t care whom it’s from! EKD71: Where do you live? Wayoutwalt: Where do I live? EKD71: Where do you live? Wayoutwalt: Where do I live? Wayoutwalt: I dear EKD have seen your buddy profile It pleases me to tell you from where you are a couple miles! EKD: How would you like to go and see the state fair (CRASH) (Evil laughing) Hiss! Computer: I’m sorry EKD but he seems to just not care! Wayoutwalt: oh dear oh dear my computer’s on the blink Darnit wayoutwalt man this means you have to think! (Sprites and fairies dance around the computer) (A revving sound) (clacking) (You Have Mail) Wayoutwalt: there she is EKD71 Yes I'd love to go I think it would be fun! (Serenity, Cupid, sprites and fairies, Wayoutwalt, my wife then named Elisa K Dennis born in 1971, holding hands and swaying) Chorus: that was the end of the computer and its evil ways It sits in a pawnshop unplugged to this day In return for the vile machine a ring of fine karat And to the happy ending she said Yes I will wear it! (yeah!) (Bows and curtsies) (Curtain drops) (Fade Happy Ending theme) [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 06-13-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Walt...I swear you are just so huggable! "tuned to the cosmically weird..." Serenity is now officially A-Mused.... Love to you, m'friend, much laughs... |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Walt, Serenity if officially A-Mused, And I am hereby 'B'emused... laffing so hard that the laffter is gagging me... return to this one when I have recovered... 'In return for the vile machine a ring of fine diamond karat' that still is the price of radium for a flintstone.... huh huh, ha ha huh huh, hurting bad now, see ya, regards, sudhir |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It's official - wayoutwalt has been deprogrammed.. he's irretrievable - been ingested by a binary code......  |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Andrew Lloyd Webber I'm not! |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
MANY laughs and giggles I got from this one Walt! Thank you!!!! Love the presentation and drama you built! Very well done indeed! Taking this to Broadway perhaps???  Best wishes and laughs, /Kit |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Walt, This is great, what an imagination my friend. I love it from beginning to end, you had me laughing, thank you just what the doctor ordered. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
anything i do is off so it would have to be off broadway yuh |
||
|
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
When are auditions? can I play the puter? I live just off Broadway a couple of blocks... Enjoyed the read muchly. |
||
|
Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Oh walt, this is absolutely amazing It is hilarious, and wonderfully told. Bravo on a most excellent piece here, I enjoyed it much I did |
||
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
oh my gosh....this is incredible...can I just ditto all of the above...I don't have enough words to say how much I like this...*shakes her head* wow walt, you just continue to amaze me! |
||
|
tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Walt this is...Way Out... for sure! Got a kick out of this one... way to go bud. If with pen in hand I've made you think I've not wasted one drop of ink Vlh. visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm |
||
|
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Walt can I please please please play Cupid??? I wanna wear next to nothing and go around shooting people in the tush with my lil arrows of love! (I am a good shot at archery btw!) What fun Walt! Thanks for the trip to Broadway! *wink* ~Heather |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Walt I have to laugh at you! See and you said you wished it would sink! You have one heck of an imagination buddy. You can spin a tale and a delightful one at that. Pat yourself on the back, ya done good! |
||
|
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Ohmygawd, ROFLMAO..... You sir, are gifted.  I mean that in a good way, btw.  |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WOW! Talk about being 2 tacos short of a Mexican dinner! Walt, you are the king of ding!!!!!!! |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
a warm thank you from cozzette herself!!! |
||
|
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
That was a great story, but what about the revolution? What about Cozzette? And we can't forget the Master of the house. Master of the house isn't worth my spit. Comforter, phylocifer, and life long sh.... After all, what is reality anyway? Nothin' but a collective hunch. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I used to dream That I would meet a prince But God Almighty Have you seen what's happened since? 'Master of the House'? Isn't worth my spit 'Comforter, philosopher' - and life long shhhh! Cunning little brain Regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover But there's not much there. ---From Master of the House Les Miserables (OH YUH!) |
||
|
elisaseyes Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196fort worth texas |
<----- formerly EKD71...now Mrs. wayoutwalt and remember honey it was you who asked me out all proper and everything |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is delightful, Walt! Truly entertaining! Denise |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Walt, 00000110100001110000011010101010000001 1001100100011111000000000100000100001000010 In other words. . .great poem!! I have a question. . .when will this play on Broadway?? ----------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This was plain awesome Sir Walt...you've made me proud for sure...see how I keep my promises?? I'm thinking you've started a good thing with this dear...keep it up!!Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Sven and dsnyder big smiles thanky!! i love to singa bout devina who read this ditty by a witty guy named walt and it's not his fault.. ohh i love to singa bout the sky so blue and a me and a you!!! |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Walt, this is adorible! I enjoyed it a lot! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Hehehehehehe....WoW, gawd but you is one weird absurdists...um...hmmm...seems that was a tad repititious. Cool parody, Walt...when does casting begin? Alicat  |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
LOL, Walt! Absolutely hysterical! What a tale! Are we maybe going to see some more acts in the future? (Hopeful look)  *Krista Knutson* "Cherish your vision; Cherish your ideals; Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts. If you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." ~James Allen~ "We've made houses for hatred...it's time we made a place where people's souls may be seen and made safe"...~Jewel~ |
||
|
netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Wooo woooo walt - -such a romantic tale So you met your wife on the computer, Super! But notice you are still into the computer Answers to questions What is your name - computer lover where do you live -- puter lane what do you do for a living -- puter repairs what do you do for fun - play on computer How does your marry grow? - don't know I will send her an icq and find out! Cute Story Walt Style. LOL ~netswan |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Gee Walt - reads like a song... LOL... Ya done good m'friend...  K |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ok - had me memory reaquainted... officially. LOl - I STILL think it reads like a song. K |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
okay---I take back the "notsowayout" label very good--even if it is wayout Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
