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Open Poetry #8
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What I Once Felt For You
| Open Poetry #8 |
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What I Once Felt For You |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas 
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I guess I dote on memories, I know that isn’t wise- Like kids will lay and daydream; staring into cloudless skies. I sit, I think, I guess I mope, what else is there to do? I know I’ll never feel for her, what I once felt for you. I’ll never feel the passion that you brought into my life… You were once my lover, but you’ll never be my wife. I’ve made this statement often, and I realize it’s true- I know I’ll never feel toward her, what I once felt toward you. I don’t know how it came to pass unlikely as it seems… I was a drifter with a gun, and you were chasing dreams. Our season was so fleeting, yet it touched me through and through, I know I’ll never feel for her, what I once felt for you. I guess our rash decision was mutual that night… I stood there in the doorway, as you drove out of sight. I waited, hoping you’d return, but in my heart I knew… I know I’ll never feel again, what I once felt for you. |
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| © Copyright 2000 John R. Yaws - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is so touching and tender, filled with love and longing. My favorite line: 'Like kids will lay and daydream; staring into cloudless skies.' I was just thinking the other day how I would do that, laying in the grass and staring at the sky, one of my favorite things to do! Denise |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This is a country song waiting to happen if I've EVER seen one, 'Slinger ... good meter, good lines!  --Kess YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
This is excellent GS. I could feel the pain in every stanza. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
This is by far my favourite poem by you. Such a heartbreaking poem. I know all too well how it feels to lose someone you care so deeply about, knowing that you could never love another the way you did that person. Your poem was beautifully and tragically written. I hope that you do love again, even more than you did that woman. Have hope! Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Your the master at poems that tell a real story Gunslinger. I enjoyed this It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Exquisite Gunslinger ... I loved the flow and rhythm, and the content was simply suberb. I loved the delightful twist on your last line! I agree with Kess ... a country song indeed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Oh, this is a beautiful love poem. It's true, once you love someone this way, you can never love anyone else like that. Beautifully written, my friend. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This is a great piece Gunslinger. I like this one the best out of all your work I've read. Nathan |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
Thanks folks, I appreciate the kind words. I suppose experience is the best source of inspiration of all, albeit, a painful one |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow no kidding what longing, life doesn't always afford us the pleasures that we so crave....great job |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
It never is the same, it's either better or worse I guess, and you said it so well! You are absolutely right, Gunslinger. Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
very well done..i have to agree...it would make an excellent country song....and I am a big fan of country music......good work here.  |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A heartbreaking story...excellent portrayal of your experience. James |
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