»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #8
»
Two lines
| Open Poetry #8 |
|
Two lines |
|
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
|
*This is a new style that I've decided to try, let me know what you think. We’re like two lines whose slopes are hardly different. Our hopes contradict science, -- we’ve met at one point and your line went higher, mine went lower. Thus is our fate,-- share a moment of bliss only once on the white graphing paper and say to each other the final “later” and diverge. Your line goes higher, mine goes lower... now I aspire to pull it up higher, but fail-- Freight trains stop when derailed. I cannot fight it, I go by the ruler!-- sad fate of the lines. I praise lunar eclipses, parabolas, ellipses. They can cross many times on their way. But if only we pull a little bit harder and longer, our lines just might start to come closer and closer and closer, until maybe... just maybe, we’ll start to feel the lines stretching and bending,-- nearer and nearer! Polar endings will meet and run towards the electrical outlet, -- as one long, symmetrical line. Defying the laws of motion and gravity, with pure emotion. [This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-12-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hey that was too good...It's like two railroadlines..which appear to meet but never meet..science is not perfect always..and can't offer justification to why two minds feel the same..so forget science.. Sincerely A_L |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
That's what I say too! Thanks |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Let's make it a challenge, I dare all of you poets to try to write in this style! |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
First off, I want to say that I enjoyed this immensely ... I have to say, Master, that your writing has come a long way since first I read you here ...  What an intrguing idea -- the Mathematics of Poetry, indeed.  Second, I would like to accept your challenge (as I am a notorious sucker for such things LOL), but I require a more in-depth definition of "this style" ... do you refer to the rhyme scheme, the relative lack of end-stop lines, the meter -- please clarify! --Kess YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
First of all, thank you for your comments... If I got any better it's by reading the poetry of poets like you... As for the challenge, I don't even know how to define "the style." I read a couple of poems by Brodsky (russian poet) and he had this style... The rhyme scheme doesn't really matter, but try to rhyme the words in the middle of the sentence instead of the words in the end... That's all I can give you. Good luck, I know it's a tough one! |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Anyone else brave enough to try this? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
