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JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

0 posted 2000-06-12 12:18 PM


To write a poem, is my goal.
Words to mirror my heart,
rhyme to reflect my soul.

In this seething quagmire,
of poetic abundance,
I read works of wonder,
and cliched redundance.

By what right dare I whine
of the skill of Passion's scribes
putting their soul in every line.

I do not write sonnets, lyrics or bonnets.
I know not of iambic pentameter, meter
nor even the function of the odometer.

I cannot pen works of rythmic muse
rhyme scheme, assonace, alliteration,
gone from my mind in cosmic obliteration.

Nan has tried, through time ad nauseum
to teach me use of poetic tool
Her efforts while valiant and insightful,
have fallen in the seedbed of a fool.

Still I wander through this garden
sewn with the seeds of poetic bliss
this wonderful field of beauty
colored with the hue of Passion's kiss,


© Copyright 2000 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved
MagnoliaBlue
Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367

1 posted 2000-06-12 12:47 PM


Very Well Done !  


MagnoliaBlue

 Pay a visit to:
http://cyberageadventures.com
You will love it!

"A poem is just an expression of my life and heart."*CJB*

~*My Skipper Jim,
I love you!
Your Lady June*~

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
2 posted 2000-06-12 02:38 PM


Hi JP,

Well you could of fooled me I think this was wonderful, I too do not know what form of poetry I write in, but I do know it comes from my heart and that is what counts.

Love,  Cerenity

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2000-06-12 06:32 PM


JP, you said

"In this seething quagmire,
of poetic abundance,
I read works of wonder,
and cliched redundance."

to which I say,

"There's poets and poetry,
prose and parlays,
chitchat and rivalries,
redundant cliches....
rhyming and meter
and free verse misspelled,
misused abundancies,
humbled heads swelled...
honesty, levity,
depth of discourse,
wisdom and parady,
truths filled with force...

but when judging a poet
or verse written here,
it's not how that we know it
but what becomes clear
as the soul of the author
is clear on display
and we hear what he always
has wanted to say...

But as for me my only criteria
is avoiding mass hysteria.

If it has a small dash
of beloved Ogden Nash
or a little echo
of a smart Longfellow
or, perhaps if I hear
just a bit of Shakespeare
or a tad e.e. cummings
among all these hummings
and i'm even ready
for L. Fehrlingetti...

so read on, my friend
and write some too.
'Cause in each and every verse
you might find something new.

Thank you for letting me share.

  
sorry to ramble... LOL... what did i say??? hehe

loved your last stanza!!!

"Still I wander through this garden
sewn with the seeds of poetic bliss
this wonderful field of beauty
colored with the hue of Passion's kiss"

delightful!


[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 06-12-2000).]

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2000-06-12 11:57 PM


Interesting poety as always, JP.   I enjoyed this very much.  

 Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"



Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
5 posted 2000-06-13 12:18 PM


Brilliantly versed. way to jam poetic license in their faces. whoever "they" is... i dig this one a lot.

 "You are not special.
You are not a brilliant and unique snowflake.
You are part of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
We are all part of the same compost heap.
We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."
-Tyler Durden


"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone is zero."
-Tyler Durden

We all got somethin' to atone for.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2000-06-13 01:50 AM


I like your style..whatever it is!  
JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
7 posted 2000-06-13 03:06 AM


My style?  Kind of a '70s wide collar print shirt and dazed disillusion, with a dash of '80s pennyloafers and 'all about me' attitude, a smidge of '60s jeans, headband rebellion, and a touch of the '90 conservative excess.  Mix that all together and sprinkle generously with coffee....

 Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2000-06-13 09:13 AM


"Still I wander through this garden
sewn with the seeds of poetic bliss
this wonderful field of beauty
colored with the hue of Passion's kiss,"

Well, not only do you have "style" JP ... but you have "class"!  I like to think that we can't always follow the rules ... just our pen.  Keep writing JP, loved it!

Best wishes,
/Kit

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
9 posted 2000-06-27 02:20 PM


Rules, Kit, were made to be broken as they say... I just wish they weren't so often broken over my head!    

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
10 posted 2000-06-27 02:28 PM


So there is hope for me as well, for know not of the many poetic tools you speak.
wonderful poem. beautifully said.


Still I wander through this garden
sewn with the seeds of poetic bliss
this wonderful field of beauty
colored with the hue of Passion's kiss,



"but for the lovers, their arms Round the griefs of the ages, Who pay no praise or wages Nor heed my craft or art"
Dylan Thomas.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2000-06-27 02:46 PM


I think I'm adding this whole thread to my library just to see what garbage I spew, to be wrapped up in the arms of this whole community, to be liked nonetheless... to keep me humbled and honest, to cast not the stone, to not covet any throne... and to not be alone...but knowing I could be, and choosing well.

JP, what a blessing you are!  Thanks m'friend!

and Doreen - your part! What a part!

< !signature-->

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ



[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-27-2000).]

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