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Open Poetry #8
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Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209


0 posted 2000-06-12 12:07 PM


when days and weeks
start to run together
and I go unnoticed
unthought of by you
for more times than I like to admit
and I want to jump and scream
and yell across the miles
don’t you worry about me
don’t you wonder why I
stopped sending me
to you
in print
don’t you need me anymore
or think about me
like I do you?
but no
no screams
will eliminate this lack
of need
no
its not my way
to yell at a closed door
hoping you
are on the other side
listening for me
too
instead
I will just quietly
walk my want
of you
away




[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-12-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2000-06-12 01:15 PM


"its not my way
to yell at a closed door"

and

"instead
I will just quietly
walk my want
of you
away "


great lines, corozan ... you get better and better at describing emotions in a new and unique way.... and that's why you are truly a "poet"

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

2 posted 2000-06-12 01:58 PM


thanks doreen, you know there are certain people that I look for in replies (though all are nice, and sometimes the new people are a refreshing surprise) but you are one that I respect, my poems go to bed restless if they go without your comments   thank you much  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-06-12 02:28 PM


when days and weeks
start to run together
and I go unnoticed
unthought of by you
for more times than I like to admit
and I want to jump and scream
and yell across the miles

Sometimes I just want to scream as well, let it all go. A powerful poem, packed with emotions.

its not my way
to yell at a closed door
hoping you
are on the other side
listening for me
too
instead
I will just quietly
walk my want
of you
away

You have made the right choices he made the wrong ones. a wonderful poem, really enjoyed reading this.




 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

manic street preachers
"Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair"

"I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP

"And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity
Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see
And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway
It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper.

-----





Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
4 posted 2000-06-12 03:51 PM


K, I think that you and Doreen, write very simular. This was very powerful. I liked it very much.....  

Parker

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
5 posted 2000-06-12 04:07 PM


Corazon~
I know this and it hurts...the words as much as the feeling that goes with them, you captured each painful step and made me ache with the feeling like it was happening all over again....

I will just quietly
walk my want
of you
away

Excellent lines!!! Thank you for sharing this piece~

amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
6 posted 2000-06-12 04:18 PM


It was more of prose than a poem..
You showed a lot of dignity..when in love you must hold yourself at a respectable position and never beg for it..if its true it may happen even if its required to stand the test of time..otherwise it may perish..in both the cases don't let your selfesteem erode away..

Sincerely
A_L

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
7 posted 2000-06-12 06:02 PM


Not many of us left here now sweetheart, of the old clan, that is...

Your mum was a wise lady you know...as I think of her words in your mail, maybe I'm thinking, you should as well...not easy, definitely not easy and you speak the feelings of many, including myself..

May we all know a peaceful night's sleep and a day filled with sunshine and of course the inevitable rainbow..

Big HUSG

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
8 posted 2000-06-12 06:05 PM


i disagree with amazon lover... sometimes begging for it can be fun... especially when he finally says... "Ok. Come on" and you answer, "Sorry, lost interest. Busy with someone else" LOL

seriously though, what I really disagree with mostly is that this is definitely poetry... in the true sense of the word... no prose here

thanks for the kind compliment, corazon... i always read your work every time i see it... because you are one fine writer, lady

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-06-12 08:42 PM


Once again, Corazon, you take one of life's emotions and explain it so well and with such style. Walking away is one thing but..walking away the want of someone.....what an incredibly powerful line that is! First-class, as always.

ref your comment: dress as if you were in the '60's. The mind boggles at the thought.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-06-12 08:47 PM


Dynamite writing, Corazon! Your writings are always unique and well done! Always a pleasure!  

Denise

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
11 posted 2000-06-12 08:59 PM


...no
its not my way
to yell at a closed door
hoping you
are on the other side...


So simply put, and yet so powerful -- quite an effective image, and one that in and of itself made the poem worth reading.

--Kess  


 YOUR LIFE IS A TEST

It is only a test ...

If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2000-06-13 10:13 AM


You've left quite an image in my mind's eye Corazon ... one of want, disappointment, and yet the gathering realization of changing tides.  This is very well done.

Best wishes,
/Kit

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2000-06-13 11:20 AM


Oh hon, your talent shines, but I can't wait for the day when you've written out all this pain and that happiness I so wish for you shines through.
Hugs  
Ruth

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

14 posted 2000-06-13 12:06 PM


brian thanks, yep there are times to scream and times not too...sigh

haleyja, I wonder how you see us similar, as I love doreen's writing, and always identify with it, so I will take your statement as a high compliment, but I fail to see it myself, I only wish to write as well as her  

butterflies...thank you, that this touched you so much makes me feel like I did something right  

amazon lover well thank you for liking it, but wonder about the prose comment...
and doreen thank you for your comments...I know my free verse is not complicated and hard to understand, leading the reader in varied dimensions, but I always thought of it as poetry still....thanks for your confirmation  

rg....I know this place is changing and growing...and yep...I think we should do the same...maybe the old stuff needs to be rethought and refreshed   hugs for your night, hope your sleep was restful  

balladeer   figured you'd go for the sixties lol....and I used to dress like that too when I was sixteen...too young to know what I was really offering I guess lol...thanks for the compliments  

denise...thank you   love it when you comment

skyfire thank you, it always amazes me, the poems that just sit down and write themselves in a few minutes are the ones that are the most touching....thank you  

kit, that you read all of those emotions touches me, your comments mean much

hoot, pretty soon girl, you have inspired me   thank you much lady  

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
15 posted 2000-06-13 12:09 PM


such a sweet purty girl and unhappy it seems either kiss a rose or go pull the wings off a butterfly whichever makes you happy...liked this poem alot
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

16 posted 2000-06-13 12:20 PM


walt you crack me up....kiss a rose or pull the wings off a butterfly....lolol....thanks
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
17 posted 2000-06-14 10:10 PM


you deserve to be on top.  

Parker

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
18 posted 2000-06-14 10:57 PM


I stopped in for a second read and what's this I see????????? Wingless butterflies!! OHHHH I can't look!!!   Walt shame on you for even suggesting!    
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

19 posted 2000-06-15 09:33 AM


thanks parker  

and butterflies....yep...I know....I will kiss a rose any day...maybe all the butterfly lovers need give walt a spanking  

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