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Open Poetry #8
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Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-06-12 07:27 AM


        The Phonecall

The call that comes in darkest sleep,
   Awakens with a fright;
For 2 am, the silence breaks
   The peaceful calm of night.

When only moments earlier,
   I dreamt of visions fair;
Of light and love and happiness;
   ... Till ringing filled the air.

It beckoned me from deepest sleep,
   And drew me from my daze;
I shook my head to clear my mind,
   Find focus through this haze.

"How long has this been ringing?"
   As I reach to find the light;
I steal a glance toward the clock,
   And now my heart takes flight!

'Tis many hours before the dawn,
   Yet all should be in bed;
My loved ones faces fill the night;
   ... My heart is filled with dread.

I struggle for composure as
   I reach to grab the phone;
My stomach churns, my heart contracts;
   "Are all my kids at home?"

I stumble as I grasp the handle,
   Stifle silent screams;
"Oh God ... please let this phonecall
   Be a part of just a dream!"

My heart is racing, mind's a whirl,
   Receiver's made of lead;
"Oh, how can this be happening!"
   "Who's on the other end?!"

Just seconds pass and yet I find
   It's been eternity;
I raise the phone to panicked ear;
   "Oh please ... don't be for me!!!"

/Kit McCallum

© Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

1 posted 2000-06-12 07:31 AM


WOW Kit....This was really scary....I was so intent on finding out who was calling and I was left breathless not to know.  One of my favorites of yours  

 It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-06-12 07:38 AM


WOW....I hate this feeling too!!!  Our panic takes over and a million different thoughts run through your head....A excellent job Kit~  Thank you for sharing this  
sarahC
Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 84
Michigan
3 posted 2000-06-12 07:39 AM


Very chilling poem....I really liked it though I too am left wanting to know who was calling!!!!   Nice work!!
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-06-12 07:42 AM


Oh, Kit~
This one struck a chord too vivid
in my memory.

The fear we all face when it rings
in the night.
You captured the dreaded feeling
all too well.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Elizabeth
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since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
5 posted 2000-06-12 11:53 AM


Oh gosh, I can relate...heck, I panic when the phone rings in the middle of the afternoon! Very scary, Kit.

Elizabeth


 I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!



LoveBug
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Posts 4697

6 posted 2000-06-12 11:59 AM


Fear and dread are two of the most awful feelings there are. You describe them well, but who was calling, anyway?  

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

shilpi
Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73

7 posted 2000-06-12 12:33 PM


Oh boy, how I rushed through the poem to find out who was at the other end !!! Still keeping the suspense, huh ?!!!

You related absolutely well to this fear !!

Regards, shilpi

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
8 posted 2000-06-12 03:58 PM


Kit we can all do without those kind of phone calls. The atmosphere of poem was perfectly edgy. Excellent read, and also am wondering...hoping that it was good news/false alarm.

 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

manic street preachers
"Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair"

"I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP

"And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity
Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see
And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway
It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper.

-----





Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2000-06-12 06:43 PM


~First Knight:  Thank you for the WOW and the favorites! (tell you in a sec)
~Butterflies:  Thanks for the comments Butterflies!
~SarahC:  Thank you Sarah (tell you in a sec too)
~Marge: It's a horrible feeling, so true, thanks Marge!
~Elizabeth:  Me too Elizabeth, nearly jump out of my skin mid-day! Thanks.
~Lovebug: Thank you Lovebug ... tell you in a sec)
~Shilpi:  Sorry Shilpi ... didn't mean to build it, but haven't had a chance to reply till now ... thanks!
~Brian:  Thank you for the great comments Brian!

***Although I've had my share of family terrors in the night, unfortunately for my best friend, she was the spark for this inspiration. She was called at 2:00 am by the police to get down to emerg, where her 18 yr old son had been badly burned with 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his body. He'd been at a prom party in an open farmers field and fell into a 10 foot open bon-fire pit.  No supervision ... a terrible, horrible accident that should never have happened. He's going to survive, but will be going through painstaking skin grafts for a very long time ... he is a very lucky boy to be alive.  It was her horrible phonecall I wrote about above, though many of us know the feeling unfortunately ...

Much appreciation to all for the lovely comments,
Best wishes,
/Kit

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-06-12 09:09 PM


My heart was in my throat when I was reading this, Kit. Being a Mom myself I could relate to the fear of a call like that. This also brought back memories of when my Mom passed away when I was at work (my first job, a month after graduation) and was ushered into my boss's office for an 'important' phone call. I couldn't answer the phone for months afterwards, petrified that I would hear that someone else that I loved had died. You've captured the terror very well in this, Kit.

Denise

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
11 posted 2000-06-12 09:31 PM


YIKES!  I'm on the edge of my seat -- and I don't think the mouse will EVER recover from the brutal squeezing it just received ...

This is indeed every mother's nightmare, Kit -- may the Lord grant that this poem never comes to be!

--Kess


 YOUR LIFE IS A TEST

It is only a test ...

If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!


Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
12 posted 2000-06-12 09:41 PM


Kit, this was so intense and so vividly true.  How we all hate the ringing of the phone in the middle of the night.  Sorry to hear of your friend's son.  Wonderful poem.
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
13 posted 2000-06-12 10:04 PM


kit~
this was so vivid and real like. now
after reading your response, i see why.
you captured the feelings that we all
dread in the middle of the night the most
the sound of the phone ringing, when it
shouldn't be!
take care.
amy  
p.s. Denise, that is so ironic. that is also how i found about my mom. i was working at my first job at Hardee's...when the phone rang and my boss came to tell me i had a phone call. found out my mom had a heart attack and wasn't expected to live. she passed away a few months later due to another heart attack. i couldn't answer a phone for a while either.


 "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends."

"Fate exists but it can only take you so far,
Because once you're there
It's up to you to make it happen."




Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
14 posted 2000-06-12 10:56 PM


Kit, this was way to real, you did an amazing job with it. I too was on the edge of my seat. Bravo on the poem, very sad on the inspiration.

Parker

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
15 posted 2000-06-13 08:02 AM


~Denise: Thank you Denise ... I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.  I too got a mid-day phonecall that left me feeling this way. Mine was from park rangers notifying me of a phonecall while on vacation that my grandfather had passed away, horrific feelings ...
~Kess:  Thank you Kess ... I too would pray that no one has to experience this awful feeling ...
~Eloise: Thank you Eloise ... and thanks for the kind thoughts about her son  
~Amy: Thanks Amy, and I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.  I was called late evening by my dad that he'd taken my mom in to emerg with an aneurism. She miraculously survived, but it was a long road ... and we are ever so grateful.
~Parker: Thank you so much for the wonderful comments Parker, I appreciate it.

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
16 posted 2000-06-13 08:07 AM


i used to call my grampa all the time at like 3 and 4 in the morning cuz i had a flat tire and i needed him to come help me finish my paper route but yuh great poem intense way cool
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2000-06-13 09:07 AM


Gripping fear stalks me, said my mother when she got a phone call from me at 1:30 am. Me being about 3.5 hours of time difference away, did not realise that it was quite late.  

oh! I then remember how much my mom dislikes telephone calls after midnight, being apprehensive, tentative.. the same she used to feel for a long time with telegrams...
Its human nature to think that only urgent messages are passed at such unearthly hours...hence the fear...

Very well expressed here Kit,
Really enjoyed this one...
regards, sudhir

 My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out
I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt
All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself,
Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf
Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight,
Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright
My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor
Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore
Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night,
Still there are the questions, no answers in sight
Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight,
Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright
Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor,
Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door...
You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange
You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange

~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream)

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2000-06-13 09:11 AM


Hey Kit you really got me going now, what a scene you set. I feel like I'm falling out of an airplane without a chute. Great work and great fun!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
19 posted 2000-06-13 11:21 AM


Oh my, I've been through that terror of a call at that time of night and your heart stops a beat from the time you pick up the phone until you know the intent of the message....your poem expresses that wonderfully  
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2000-06-13 11:27 AM


...and not to matter the age
nor stage
of our lives
phones that ring
at 2:00 a.m.
bring terror's sting
and dread harboring
'neath sheltered dreamy eyes.

Please let your friend know that Passions poets are praying for her family and son.

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

21 posted 2000-06-13 11:45 AM


~Kit,...wow!!!  You have my heart pounding in my chest...this poem is flooding me with many memories...as I've received a few of these phone calls...all bringing bad news.  Also, a knock at the door once around that time a night...news about my brother in an accident.  Gosh,...you have sent chills up my spine.  Your writing is so real and freaky.  Well done...I don't mean freaky in a bad way at all,...I just mean it is effective.  Indeed a most chilling piece of work.  *Bravo* on a job well done. Please take care. *Peace.
Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
22 posted 2000-06-13 02:04 PM


Brrrr.. You found the moment where a life may be about to change and put the trepidation to paper; perfectly, I might add.
I still have the adrenaline flowing!

 I have been to see the world. Tasted life at every turn.
And all the time your face came back to haunt me.
-Chris DeBurgh

Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
23 posted 2000-06-13 04:37 PM


~Walt: Thanks for the way cool Walt ... you had a pretty terrific grandfather!
~Sudhir: Glad you enjoyed Sudhir, bet you scared your mom a few times with the time difference!
~Ethome:  I always wanted to skydive Ethome ... thanks for the great comment!
~HootOwl:  Sorry to hear you've been on the receiving end too HootOwl ... thanks for the comments!
~Sunshine:  Wonderful poetic response Sunshine, and thank you for the prayers ... I will.
~SpitFire:  Thanks for the wow and the freaky SpitFire   I enjoyed your comments!
~Trew:  Glad I was able to give an adrenaline rush ... always feels good, thanks Trew!

Much appreciation to all!
/Kit

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

24 posted 2000-06-13 07:08 PM


yep this is great, you described it so perfectly.....whew...the intensity built perfectly....that's the only time a wrong number is welcome....great poem great ending
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
25 posted 2000-06-15 11:33 AM


~Corazon:  Wrong numbers at that time of night truly are a blessing ... thanks Corazon!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Syntax
Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 25

26 posted 2000-06-15 12:08 PM


Kit,

You put this adrenalin-rushing situation, and the accompanying emotions to rhyme so very well. I was drawn in immediately, and couldn't wait for the ending. Fantastic work!

 Syntax


Each instant comes with a price ~ J. Wright


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
27 posted 2000-06-15 12:43 PM


Chills down the spin and a great twist at the end, Kit!

Corinne

Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
28 posted 2000-06-15 09:28 PM


~Syntax: Thank you so much for the wonderful comments ... much appreciated Syntax!
~Corinne:  Glad you felt it Corinne, thanks for the great comment!

Much appreciation to both,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-15-2000).]

Miss Behavin'
Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 84

29 posted 2000-06-15 09:42 PM


This is indeed every parent's nightmare - You've done a wonderful job here - Walt, of course defy most any rule - and I'm glad he can...
SEA
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with you
30 posted 2000-06-15 09:54 PM


Kit~ Good grief....I was panicing while reading this.....So sorry for your friend and her son.... The way you wrote this made me feel it too, great job.   -SEA
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
31 posted 2000-06-17 02:04 PM


~Miss Behavin':  Thank you so much for the comment (and Walt's Grampa must have been a sweety)
~SEA:  Thanks for the lovely comment, and for thinking of my friend and family SEA ...

Much appreciation,
/Kit

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

32 posted 2000-06-17 02:51 PM


Ah, Kit, suspense writing to rival that of Poe, in its own way. I hope your friend's son makes a quick and full recovery.

~ Claire

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